Instant Turn-Offs

[ProfPacker]

but where does that leave Frieda Kolho (sp). she was the major woman with the unibrow

[nycfem]

Celebrity exception perhaps

Originally Posted by femmepacker

but where does that leave Frieda Kolho (sp). she was the major woman with the unibrow

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by femmepacker

but where does that leave Frieda Kolho (sp). she was the major woman with the unibrow

There is always that one special person that can pull something off in a way no one else can. Frida and Groucho Marx LOL.

[ProfPacker]

not looking me in the eye when talking to me is a big turn off
not having my sense of humor which is pretty dark and twisted
not interested in the world around them
not wanting to take on the status quo

but mostly, in my previous long term relationship and growing up I lived in a world of smoke and mirrors. I need to have someone be direct with me.

someone who doesn't say as I am talking, I'm not done, let me finish
belittling me
being emotionally abusive
If I even have a hint of that...I am out of here

I like to have fun. If someone can't be silly it is a turn off.

at this time in my life we must be sexually compatible. no more lesbian bed death, haha.

if they don't like that I have kids, it is a negatory (is that a word, no but I like it)

[Violette]

Originally Posted by skeeter_01

A know it all, eating with their mouth open or smacking their lips while they eat.

I am with you on the eating with their mouth open and smacking their lips. That's a hard one for me to relax around.

Mean people, ignorant people, people who use texting "shorthand", (U no..cnt be bothered to rite out there hole thought) oh and the whole "there, their, they're" thing. People who can't be bothered to use spell check.

I used to be right there with you on the "there, their, and they're thing." That used to bug the hell out of me until a funny thing happened. I started to write on the internet. Then I would re read things that I had written, and wouldn't you know it. I do the same damn thing. In fact, I did it today in a post. I couldn't edit it anymore. I am well educated. I fully know the difference and how to use each word correctly, but alas, I make mistakes. I am not that careful when I am not writing for work. The internet is play time. I got over it.

As for my Instant Turn-Offs: treating strangers poorly (yes, I watch how a person treats the food servers), bad odor, long toe nails. Oh yeah, intolerance of differences (as in different cultures etc).

[Martina]

People who are way performative. I know it is just one way of being in the world, and it's kind of celebrated in our sub-culture. But it doesn't work for me. Wears me out.

[Kobi]

Biggest turn off for me is having never-ending lists of turn offs because:

1. It denies the reality of being imperfect human beings.

2. It takes away from the quirkiness and individuality of people expressing their diversity in their own way.

3. It indicates people should fit a check off list of what pleases each of us, rather than just accepting who they are.

4. It adds negativity to the world which seems to need a good healthy dose of positivity.

[Martina]

Well, I think you ought to know what you want and what you can and can't put up with. What's the value of all this experience if it isn't to learn from and prevent yourself from wasting time and hurting yours and others' feelings?

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Martina

Well, I think you ought to know what you want and what you can and can't put up with. What's the value of all this experience if it isn't to learn from and prevent yourself from wasting time and hurting yours and others' feelings?

Indeed, it behooves one to know oneself well.

Sometimes, it also behooves one to take a step back and ponder. Sometimes, some things we dislike is likeable with the right person. Sometimes, what we like can be horrific with the wrong person.

Sometimes we might need to think about whether we are seeking a real, live, imperfect human being, or if we are seeking an inanimate cardboard cut out of <insertpreferencehere> embedded in our fantasies.

And, I appreciate you raising this existential concept without rearranging my parts. I can see I am still growing on you and have graduated from "like mold on wet sheet rock", to "a mere allergen tickling your nose".

[Girl_On_Fire]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Biggest turn off for me is having never-ending lists of turn offs because:

1. It denies the reality of being imperfect human beings.

2. It takes away from the quirkiness and individuality of people expressing their diversity in their own way.

3. It indicates people should fit a check off list of what pleases each of us, rather than just accepting who they are.

4. It adds negativity to the world which seems to need a good healthy dose of positivity.

This thread was not started with the intent to put anyone down or ask others to come up with a 20-page laundry list of faults other people have that they can't abide.

However, there is something to be said for knowing what you can and can't put up with. Some habits, attitudes, etc. are simply deal-breakers, even if the person can't help it.

Even I have been a bit taken aback by some of what I've read on here because the poster is not only describing traits I have, but traits I can't help or "fix" (and some of them, I wouldn't necessarily want to). Still, it's better to know these things up front before investing any time in a relationship that is destined for failure.


I think it's a good idea to be clear both about what does it for you and what doesn't so you can select a mate that best matches you, rather than suffering in silence with someone who really does have 20-plus unacceptable qualities or habits that you can't stand because you've decided to settle.

[Charmingbutch21]

Smoking (Cigarettes, not as in being smoking hot or the very attractive type of smoking)