Butches: how do you like to be treated on a date?

[firegal]

Yanno my expectations are said by many...as I have gotten more mature and experienced in life my thoughts have changed drastically.

All I know is I,m stone butch and fit nicely with a "femme" and enjoy life and respect and honesty..... The rest is for a more private convo!

And not up for debate because....who I am and what I like is ALL MINe!

I love this site!

Enjoy!

[Queenie]

What an interesting topic. I am going to ask my husband when he gets home tonight how he likes to be treated by me when we go on our date nights.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I do notice a lot of people say "I like to be treated with respect." Everyone does. I don't k ow anyone that likes to be treated with disrespect. But the thing is, respect looks different to everyone. What I consider respectful will not be respectful to someone else. And vice versa.
I know but this isn't a popular topic thread but I am actually pretty interested. Do you like being flirted with? How much? How forward? Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? Do you like to be asked out? Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? Do you like her to be agreeable.or do you like her playful and sassy? How word she behavave on a date that would pop your clogs?

[Elijah]

Alright, let me give this go...

Of course I wanted to be respected - and more. What does that look like?

*You are polite and attentive (and of course - I will be too)

*Assuming you are interested, you are flirtatious without being pushy. All I need to know is the interest is there and (if I am interested too), I can take it from there!

*You are engaged in the conversation and are interested in getting to know me (and I will be too)

*You touch me casually on my arms and/or legs

*You laugh at my jokes (I am funny, you know.)

*You allow me to pay unless otherwise negotiated

*For the love of G-d, put your cell phone away! (unless there is a legitimate reason i.e. young children, emergency calls, etc)

*If you want a goodnight kiss or other physical intimacy at the end of the evening (or whenever) have an open body posture that is congruent with that. Touch me, face me, lean closer, whisper in my ear, put your head on my shoulder (be creative - and tasteful).

*Be dressed appropriately for the date.

*I don't like people to be overly agreeable or overly combative, not on the first date, not ever.

*Please be smart, sexy, engaging, open, appropriate and easy to get along with (and I will be too, I promise)

The End.

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I do notice a lot of people say "I like to be treated with respect." Everyone does. I don't k ow anyone that likes to be treated with disrespect. But the thing is, respect looks different to everyone. What I consider respectful will not be respectful to someone else. And vice versa.
I know but this isn't a popular topic thread but I am actually pretty interested. Do you like being flirted with? How much? How forward? Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? Do you like to be asked out? Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? Do you like her to be agreeable.or do you like her playful and sassy? How word she behavave on a date that would pop your clogs?

[Mel C.]

Originally Posted by Elijah

Alright, let me give this go...

Of course I wanted to be respected - and more. What does that look like?

*You are polite and attentive (and of course - I will be too)

*Assuming you are interested, you are flirtatious without being pushy. All I need to know is the interest is there and (if I am interested too), I can take it from there!

*You are engaged in the conversation and are interested in getting to know me (and I will be too)

*You touch me casually on my arms and/or legs

*You laugh at my jokes (I am funny, you know.)

*You allow me to pay unless otherwise negotiated

*For the love of G-d, put your cell phone away! (unless there is a legitimate reason i.e. young children, emergency calls, etc)

*If you want a goodnight kiss or other physical intimacy at the end of the evening (or whenever) have an open body posture that is congruent with that. Touch me, face me, lean closer, whisper in my ear, put your head on my shoulder (be creative - and tasteful).

*Be dressed appropriately for the date.

*I don't like people to be overly agreeable or overly combative, not on the first date, not ever.

*Please be smart, sexy, engaging, open, appropriate and easy to get along with (and I will be too, I promise)

The End.

Excellent post! I will be back to chime in, but for now "subscribe"

[Mel C.]

Be attentive...engage in conversation and ask follow-up questions to show you are listening (don't just parrot the conversation).
Be open....show me you are interested in me knowing you.
Be real...don't try to sell me a version of you that can't be maintained.
Have fun...if I can't tell that you are enjoying yourself, i wont be relaxed.
Be friendly...even if you have bitchy resting face, make the effort to flash a few smiles
Touch me...find a reason.
Be appreciative...I expect to pick up the tab, but I don't "owe" you anything.
After the date...follow up and show you are interested in another date.

I agree with an earlier post, put the cell phone away!

I need sleep and reserve the right to post again after I get some rest.

Be your clever, gorgeous self and don't get hung up on what you think I need on a date.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I do notice a lot of people say "I like to be treated with respect." Everyone does. I don't k ow anyone that likes to be treated with disrespect. But the thing is, respect looks different to everyone. What I consider respectful will not be respectful to someone else. And vice versa.
I know but this isn't a popular topic thread but I am actually pretty interested. Do you like being flirted with? How much? How forward? Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? Do you like to be asked out? Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? Do you like her to be agreeable.or do you like her playful and sassy? How word she behavave on a date that would pop your clogs?

Respect for me means not questioning another person's identity (especially when it comes trans related stuff), not ridiculing the other person and things like that.

As far as flirting or women being forward with me. I'm a pretty shy guy myself and have always really sucked at flirting with people I don't know well. In my own mind I always sound awkward as hell. So I actually really like it when someone is more forward with me. I might not actually be with my current partner if she were as shy as I am and wasn't more forward. She's definitely the one who started hitting on me first and kissed me first (but to my credit I covered some other "firsts" to even things out! ), but luckily for me my awkwardness was apparently what made her fall for me in the first place So in short: nope I have no problem with a date flirting with me or being more forward than I am, and it kind of makes me feel more comfortable to flirt back.

As far as someone "going all out" I'm a bit less comfortable with that. I like dates that are more casual. If by that you mean romantic gestures. I don't like many "formal" romantic gestures because it makes me feel...you guessed it...awkward! Casual is more my thing...which isn't to say that romantic is bad, I guess my partner and I have different ideas of romance than most people (f.ex. zombies).

I really don't care who does the asking out. For example, even though my partner was the first to put the moves on me, I was the first to ask for a date (moar zombies). However, I've had plenty of women ask me out and I'm also 100% cool with that too. I have a tendency to end up with femmes who are more outgoing/forward/louder/more social etc. than I am, kind of my "type" I guess lol

I'm cool with touching as long as if boundaries are ever expressed, they're respected (and that goes both ways of course).

Agreeable is boring, bring on the sass

[Charmingbutch21]

If I've asked you on a date, then I obviously feel some type of connection. I'm one of those people that you meet and you feel like you've known me forever. I have a knack for making people feel comfortable. Now, knowing that...I like to flirt and for my date to engage back, I'm a sucker for a quick wit. I like when my date looks me in the eyes as we talk, this can be really sexy. I like to share brief touches (fingertips, forearms, knees) and if I'm really into a woman, to put my arm around her shoulders. I really love when a femme takes my elbow as I guide us through a restaurant or down a sidewalk. Makes me puff my chest out a little I like to open doors, pull out chairs, and (if she's comfortable) give her a few bites of food while we dine.

-cb

[Tuff Stuff]

She can respect me if she wants to,or not.++=