Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

Tommi · 06-21-2014, 07:11 PM

*Anya* · 06-24-2014, 04:05 PM

The dermatologist called me last night and it is squamous cell cancer.

Friday, she will excise it down to healthy tissue and then suture it.

I am not worried that it is cancer.

It is because I have had so many painful surgeries and procedures, I am freaking out much more about the pain. I think I am almost phobic about pain now.

The biopsy was very painful. It was the two syringes full of Lidocaine into the growth, before it finally got numb, that almost made me scream. It has hurt totally out of proportion to the size ever since-kind of like a continuous drill into my thigh.

I haven't taken pain meds for quite a while but think I need to before I even go.

I did not even write this last week because I feel so badly about it but it is weighing on me. My GF came with me last week. Because it was a new MD, I wanted to have it known from the beginning that she was more than my friend.

When the doctor and LVN came in, I said: "This is my significant other_______" and I said the name of my long-term ex that I haven't been with for probably 14 years now.

I promptly burst into tears, saying: "I don't know why I said that".

My sweet girlfriend said, "It's ok hon" and turning to the doctor, apologized for me and said: "She's just really nervous".

I still feel badly about it but love her even more for how she handled it.

LeftWriteFemme · 06-27-2014, 05:45 AM

The Warrior Waiting

Is there word
Is there word
The Warrior is waiting
Waiting to hear if there is further incursion
Waiting to know if cancer has again
Turned Hys body into a battlefield
Schrodinger’s cat sat in a box in anticipation
But caging a tiger is different
Is it war or is it peacetime
The pacing wears on the might
The waiting wears out days better spent
Rumination is for cows
Fights and freedoms are the business of heroes
Anticipation is its own test
The Warrior is waiting
Prepared whatever the word

6/27/14 7:35 am

*Anya* · 06-27-2014, 02:53 PM

I just got home from the doctor.

My GF D spoke with the doc yesterday and D explained about my (undiagnosed, except by me) medical PTSD.

The doctor ordered Valium for me to take an hour before the procedure which was the best idea ever.

I could tolerate the lidocaine and they gave me so much I didn't feel anything during the procedure.

12 internal and 12 external sutures.

Hopefully she got it all. Another pathology report within a week.

D is more logical than nurturing by nature but has been absolutely awesome.

Tommi · 06-27-2014, 04:26 PM

Anya and D,
Glad to hear this part of the trip is over. Doc sounds nice n reasonable and willing to listen. That's so helpful.

Go do something fun. I suggest watching the sunset at the ocean, sitting in the car, talking and having some ice cold tea or lemonade. Waiting on path reports is never a fun time, so , I go into hyper mode and overdo activities, and..insomnia.

Best wishes, and keep in touch.

mustangjeano · 06-27-2014, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

The Warrior Waiting

Is there word
Is there word
The Warrior is waiting
Waiting to hear if there is further incursion
Waiting to know if cancer has again
Turned Hys body into a battlefield
Schrodinger’s cat sat in a box in anticipation
But caging a tiger is different
Is it war or is it peacetime
The pacing wears on the might
The waiting wears out days better spent
Rumination is for cows
Fights and freedoms are the business of heroes
Anticipation is its own test
The Warrior is waiting
Prepared whatever the word

6/27/14 7:35 am

I LOVE this. Thank you for posting it. Jeano

*Anya* · 07-07-2014, 09:05 PM

I was so anxious about having my squamous cell cancer removed because for the last few years, everything medically that could go wrong: has.

This time, it was no different.

By this past Friday, a week after it was removed, I knew the surgical site was infected.

I went back to the doctor Friday morning. She cultured it and started me on antibiotics.

I went back today and found out it had cultured MRSA. She changed my antibiotic.

Now, I am petrified of getting C-Dif again.

Tommi · 07-09-2014, 02:32 PM

Geeesh Anya, what a journey. Cancer is taken care of, but the side effects keep on comin~

Sure hope that new antibiotic kicks butt quickly, and C.diff stays out of the mix. Best regards, and I know you are drinking lots of water, getting lots of rest and ,well. ya know.

Tommi

Tommi · 07-09-2014, 02:48 PM

I decided it was time to terminate the experiment called "Waiting". Vacation over, back home, and still no news, or phone message from my tests.

I had watched the mail, waited for the little post card long enough, the one with check boxes:

Waiting for it to read, "negative findings, normal biopsy" with the little happy face drawn on by the nurse/tech, or "Please call to make a follow-up appointment. "

It had been long enough. I picked up the line and called the cancer center, extolled to the person on the phone I had waited over 3 weeks, for something that for nine years took a week...except when there was a recurrence last year, and ...well it was over 3 weeks to find out, then had to have 3 months of treatment and radiation and ..well...I was pissed.

Wait on the line while she looks up your chart....

Then, "Oh, everything came back Okay. Sorry we didn't let you know!" We stopped mailing out the cards, and expected you to call for the results. OMFG.

SORRY, not being good enough I let her know my true feelings, as I am sure many cancer survivors have done before...hoping that this time, they will get it....a sigh of relief and , back to life and wanting

POPCORN

06-21-2014, 07:11 PM	#1
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,338 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Hourglass

06-24-2014, 04:05 PM	#2
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,443 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Possible trigger... The dermatologist called me last night and it is squamous cell cancer. Friday, she will excise it down to healthy tissue and then suture it. I am not worried that it is cancer. It is because I have had so many painful surgeries and procedures, I am freaking out much more about the pain. I think I am almost phobic about pain now. The biopsy was very painful. It was the two syringes full of Lidocaine into the growth, before it finally got numb, that almost made me scream. It has hurt totally out of proportion to the size ever since-kind of like a continuous drill into my thigh. I haven't taken pain meds for quite a while but think I need to before I even go. I did not even write this last week because I feel so badly about it but it is weighing on me. My GF came with me last week. Because it was a new MD, I wanted to have it known from the beginning that she was more than my friend. When the doctor and LVN came in, I said: "This is my significant other_______" and I said the name of my long-term ex that I haven't been with for probably 14 years now. I promptly burst into tears, saying: "I don't know why I said that". My sweet girlfriend said, "It's ok hon" and turning to the doctor, apologized for me and said: "She's just really nervous". I still feel badly about it but love her even more for how she handled it. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner Last edited by Anya; 06-24-2014 at 04:05 PM. Reason: Typo

06-27-2014, 05:45 AM	#3
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts Rep Power: 21474869	The Warrior Waiting Is there word Is there word The Warrior is waiting Waiting to hear if there is further incursion Waiting to know if cancer has again Turned Hys body into a battlefield Schrodinger’s cat sat in a box in anticipation But caging a tiger is different Is it war or is it peacetime The pacing wears on the might The waiting wears out days better spent Rumination is for cows Fights and freedoms are the business of heroes Anticipation is its own test The Warrior is waiting Prepared whatever the word 6/27/14 7:35 am __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

06-27-2014, 02:53 PM	#4
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,443 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I just got home from the doctor. My GF D spoke with the doc yesterday and D explained about my (undiagnosed, except by me) medical PTSD. The doctor ordered Valium for me to take an hour before the procedure which was the best idea ever. I could tolerate the lidocaine and they gave me so much I didn't feel anything during the procedure. 12 internal and 12 external sutures. Hopefully she got it all. Another pathology report within a week. D is more logical than nurturing by nature but has been absolutely awesome. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

07-07-2014, 09:05 PM	#7
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,443 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I was so anxious about having my squamous cell cancer removed because for the last few years, everything medically that could go wrong: has. This time, it was no different. By this past Friday, a week after it was removed, I knew the surgical site was infected. I went back to the doctor Friday morning. She cultured it and started me on antibiotics. I went back today and found out it had cultured MRSA. She changed my antibiotic. Now, I am petrified of getting C-Dif again. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

06-27-2014, 04:26 PM	#5
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,338 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Anya and D, Glad to hear this part of the trip is over. Doc sounds nice n reasonable and willing to listen. That's so helpful. Go do something fun. I suggest watching the sunset at the ocean, sitting in the car, talking and having some ice cold tea or lemonade. Waiting on path reports is never a fun time, so , I go into hyper mode and overdo activities, and..insomnia. Best wishes, and keep in touch.

07-09-2014, 02:32 PM	#8
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,338 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Geeesh Anya, what a journey. Cancer is taken care of, but the side effects keep on comin~ Sure hope that new antibiotic kicks butt quickly, and C.diff stays out of the mix. Best regards, and I know you are drinking lots of water, getting lots of rest and ,well. ya know. Tommi

07-09-2014, 02:48 PM	#9
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,338 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Life on the line I decided it was time to terminate the experiment called "Waiting". Vacation over, back home, and still no news, or phone message from my tests. I had watched the mail, waited for the little post card long enough, the one with check boxes: Waiting for it to read, "negative findings, normal biopsy" with the little happy face drawn on by the nurse/tech, or "Please call to make a follow-up appointment. " It had been long enough. I picked up the line and called the cancer center, extolled to the person on the phone I had waited over 3 weeks, for something that for nine years took a week...except when there was a recurrence last year, and ...well it was over 3 weeks to find out, then had to have 3 months of treatment and radiation and ..well...I was pissed. Wait on the line while she looks up your chart.... Then, "Oh, everything came back Okay. Sorry we didn't let you know!" We stopped mailing out the cards, and expected you to call for the results. OMFG. SORRY, not being good enough I let her know my true feelings, as I am sure many cancer survivors have done before...hoping that this time, they will get it....a sigh of relief and , back to life and wanting POPCORN