What makes me butch?

[Hack]

Something about this thread disturbs me. It's not the intent of the thread, so no disrespect toward Darth, who started this thread.

I think it's just that I find identity - yours, mine and whoever's - to be a very personal thing. How I got to where I am today was a journey, sometimes a battle, and most definitely an evolution. I am sure that is true for nearly everyone, no matter who you are.

I have a sign in my office that says, "I look forward to the day when I no longer have to explain anything." It pertains to my job, really, but I also feel that way about my identity both in and outside of this community.

For me, it's always more interesting to listen to people tell their stories about how they came to be the person they are -- the experiences that shaped them, or the upbringing they had.

Just my thoughts.

Jake

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Hack

Something about this thread disturbs me. It's not the intent of the thread, so no disrespect toward Darth, who started this thread.

I think it's just that I find identity - yours, mine and whoever's - to be a very personal thing. How I got to where I am today was a journey, sometimes a battle, and most definitely an evolution. I am sure that is true for nearly everyone, no matter who you are.

I have a sign in my office that says, "I look forward to the day when I no longer have to explain anything." It pertains to my job, really, but I also feel that way about my identity both in and outside of this community.

For me, it's always more interesting to listen to people tell their stories about how they came to be the person they are -- the experiences that shaped them, or the upbringing they had.

Just my thoughts.

Jake

Wouldn't it be great to be there! Just the whole notion of your own personal being... just being without any questions, from anyone. No explanations needed because there isn't a thing that is odd or different needing explanation because we have finally gone beyond stereotypes completely and traditional gender identification. Everyone is represented other than in documentaries that are mainly viewed by this community. No traditional characterizations and expectations begining at birth...

Thinking of John Lennon's Imagine...

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Hack

Something about this thread disturbs me. It's not the intent of the thread, so no disrespect toward Darth, who started this thread.

I think it's just that I find identity - yours, mine and whoever's - to be a very personal thing. How I got to where I am today was a journey, sometimes a battle, and most definitely an evolution.

Ditto. I don't even id as butch. it's bigger than that for me. and it's mine alone. the suffering is mine alone, and so is the payment to be me which is a straight man in a semi-female body.

[BullDog]

I think what butches have in common is having grown up with similar experiences and internal feelings that made us feel different from other girls/females. I use common and similar loosely, since our life experiences and internal feelings will vary from individual to individual as well as due to things like generation, geography, class, race etc.

Still, I think most butches grow up feeling different, being drawn to things that are often labeled "boys things," feeling an internal dissonance between what the world expects of us and how we feel about ourselves.

We may have had crushes on little girls, waited and waited until we could finally wear pants to school, longed to find others like us. Then we grew up and found other lesbians, gays, queers. Maybe lesbian fit, maybe it didn't, but even if it fit there seemed to be something missing that we couldn't quite figure out.

Some of us, before discovering the amazing femmes that were out there, maybe thought there was something wrong with us. Some us thought we were attracted to straight women because none of the lesbians really turned our heads.

Then we learned what butch was- in our various ways. It clicked. It fit. We felt more comfortable in our own skin.

To me butch is a journey and a place where I fit more comfortably in my own skin.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I think what butches have in common is having grown up with similar experiences and internal feelings that made us feel different from other girls/females. I use common and similar loosely, since our life experiences and internal feelings will vary from individual to individual as well as due to things like generation, geography, class, race etc.

Still, I think most butches grow up feeling different, being drawn to things that are often labeled "boys things," feeling an internal dissonance between what the world expects of us and how we feel about ourselves.

We may have had crushes on little girls, waited and waited until we could finally wear pants to school, longed to find others like us. Then we grew up and found other lesbians, gays, queers. Maybe lesbian fit, maybe it didn't, but even if it fit there seemed to be something missing that we couldn't quite figure out.

Some of us, before discovering the amazing femmes that were out there, maybe thought there was something wrong with us. Some us thought we were attracted to straight women because none of the lesbians really turned our heads.

Then we learned what butch was- in our various ways. It clicked. It fit. We felt more comfortable in our own skin.

To me butch is a journey and a place where I fit more comfortably in my own skin.

This is a really, really great post, BullDog. I think that you hit it right on the money for many of us.