Your Ideal Relationship Format

BrutalDaddy · 10-03-2014, 01:09 PM

You know, I used to think that I would never get to a place where I could have what I would consider a "perfect" relationship with someone. I was proven wrong.

Moments like those, I don't mind being proven wrong. Now mind you, I don't mean "perfect" as in it's all a bowl full of cherries, long walks on the beach and nothing but mad, passionate whatevers. That's not our reality. Hell, I don't think it's even our ideal.

What makes our relationship perfect is that it works for us. I can honestly say I seriously doubt half the shit I say would be seen as funny by anyone else. Same goes for her. We're both kinda crazy in that off the wall way that makes some people give us wary looks and cause them to edge ever so slowly away from us. Yet when we're together, It. Works.

Starting to ramble so let me try to reign this back in and say that our ideal relationship is the both of us giving our all to each other. Come hell or high water, we've got each other's backs. If one of us stumbles, the other is there to snatch the second up off the ground and say, "rub some dirt on it and let's go." Okay, that's more her style but I've grown fond of it. Helps to keep me from drowning in my own self pity shit. We have this saying, you and me against the world and we live by that mantra.

She's my very best friend. She laughs at my stupid shit and I sure as hell laugh at her's. We've been through some very, very tough years but I believe one of the main reasons that we've managed to get through it together is because we're best friends. Because we are such best friends, we're able to call each other out on the other's shit. We may not always like each other but the love has never nor will it ever fade. Plus, nothing funner than giving rations of shit to my best friend.

I used to think that an ideal relationship for me would have to involve the other person changing to fit my needs or me being someone I thought they wanted. Little did I know that the reality was that we'd want to mesh our needs and wants because we enjoy making the other happy. And I couldn't be happier or feel more content.

So yea, ideal relationship for us, best friends + us against the world = perfect for us.

I Get Long Winded Sometimes,
Brute.

SirenManda · 10-03-2014, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

You know, I used to think that I would never get to a place where I could have what I would consider a "perfect" relationship with someone. I was proven wrong.

Moments like those, I don't mind being proven wrong. Now mind you, I don't mean "perfect" as in it's all a bowl full of cherries, long walks on the beach and nothing but mad, passionate whatevers. That's not our reality. Hell, I don't think it's even our ideal.

What makes our relationship perfect is that it works for us. I can honestly say I seriously doubt half the shit I say would be seen as funny by anyone else. Same goes for her. We're both kinda crazy in that off the wall way that makes some people give us wary looks and cause them to edge ever so slowly away from us. Yet when we're together, It. Works.

Starting to ramble so let me try to reign this back in and say that our ideal relationship is the both of us giving our all to each other. Come hell or high water, we've got each other's backs. If one of us stumbles, the other is there to snatch the second up off the ground and say, "rub some dirt on it and let's go." Okay, that's more her style but I've grown fond of it. Helps to keep me from drowning in my own self pity shit. We have this saying, you and me against the world and we live by that mantra.

She's my very best friend. She laughs at my stupid shit and I sure as hell laugh at her's. We've been through some very, very tough years but I believe one of the main reasons that we've managed to get through it together is because we're best friends. Because we are such best friends, we're able to call each other out on the other's shit. We may not always like each other but the love has never nor will it ever fade. Plus, nothing funner than giving rations of shit to my best friend.

I used to think that an ideal relationship for me would have to involve the other person changing to fit my needs or me being someone I thought they wanted. Little did I know that the reality was that we'd want to mesh our needs and wants because we enjoy making the other happy. And I couldn't be happier or feel more content.

So yea, ideal relationship for us, best friends + us against the world = perfect for us.

I Get Long Winded Sometimes,
Brute.

How you describe your relationship is very similar to ours. It's not about fitting a role to me or him, its about allowing each other to be who we are which creates happiness for both of us. We laugh at the same stuff, our goals are the same but we have different approaches to getting there. I'm more up front and open about speaking, he's more introverted. Because of the bond we have, I can 99% of the time speak for him and say exactly what he was meaning to say. Because we are best friends, the effort to communicate is stronger.

There is no giving up, and we are on a team. Very few people can say their partner would back them all the time, but I do believe (and have had) when moments arise and I need back up he will do whatever is necessary to make things safe for me. I have always wanted the type of relationship where the differences can improve each others lives, like teaching each other how to do things and being genuinely interested in working towards a better relationship.

I signed up for this, and expectations were always talked about and still are. We have always told each other "you were made for me" and I own that. I found my soul mate, and its exactly what I wanted it to be. Goofy, crazy, and together we make one amazing team.

Oh well, looks like I went off on a long winded love fest also.

Peace

imperfect_cupcake · 10-03-2014, 02:51 PM

I think it depends on what you mean by "best friend" so perhaps that term is problematic.
There are things I talk about with my best friend that I would not in *any* way shape or form appreciate from my partner, ever. I talk about people who I'd like to fuck with my best mate and she tells me.
I don't wanna hear that from my partner. That is for a certain kind of jocularity I don't want to hear. That's for her best blokey mates, not me.
I don't mind that she finds other people attractive, it's healthy. I don't mind she notices or even occationally has a side dish of fun.
I don't want to hear the details of what she wants to do with other girls in her head.
I don't want her pointing out girls to me in a bar.
I don't want to hear comments about girls tits when she's watching tv.
She can share those things with her best blokey mates.

I also don't want to spend 24/7 with her.

I attribute those things to people's best mates.
So I think everyone's dictionary or terms are goin to be different.

ProfPacker · 10-03-2014, 03:18 PM

I think for me, this is a loaded question. After coming out of a committed, monogamous relationship for 34 years, I am not so sure what my ideal relationship looked like. For a lot of those 34 years there were more moments and times that we were best friends, know each other like no one else, we raised children together, shared friends, families, etc. We owned homes together, shared money, but did not have similar libidos or tastes in what was satisfying.

So now, what is it that I want? I want someone kind, respectful, fulfilled with their own life, independent. I want more of a butch femme dance (although what that is will change as needs change and the relationship grows). I am a top and really do not enjoy being a bottom, so I would want someone who would want and enjoy that aspect of our relationship in bed.

I am not sure whether I want separate or joined homes. I do think that before homes are joined separate is necessary to see, really see, if joining homes suits both our needs and enhances the relationship.

I want tenderness, a tender person who will let me be tender and loving (maybe other things in sexually, kink and what is agreed upon by us).

I want someone who is passionate about their work and understands that my work takes a lot of time and energy. It depends on our work but we might for a time live in different cities or states because it would be hard for me to get another position full time somewhere else for various reasons.

Someone who supports gender expression in all forms, who is open to difference. Someone who understands my crazy family and dynamics. Someone who knows I have kids and they are an important part of my life.

We don't have to have "the same tastes" but a sense of humor is very important (dark or silly or corny). Someone who I can learn from and can learn from me.

Not sure what else to say

10-03-2014, 01:09 PM	#1
BrutalDaddy Member How Do You Identify?: Her Asshole. Preferred Pronoun?: Him, hym, he, whatever. Relationship Status: Bitch has no more excuses now. Join Date: May 2012 Location: Lower Alabama Posts: 519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 2,784 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	You know, I used to think that I would never get to a place where I could have what I would consider a "perfect" relationship with someone. I was proven wrong. Moments like those, I don't mind being proven wrong. Now mind you, I don't mean "perfect" as in it's all a bowl full of cherries, long walks on the beach and nothing but mad, passionate whatevers. That's not our reality. Hell, I don't think it's even our ideal. What makes our relationship perfect is that it works for us. I can honestly say I seriously doubt half the shit I say would be seen as funny by anyone else. Same goes for her. We're both kinda crazy in that off the wall way that makes some people give us wary looks and cause them to edge ever so slowly away from us. Yet when we're together, It. Works. Starting to ramble so let me try to reign this back in and say that our ideal relationship is the both of us giving our all to each other. Come hell or high water, we've got each other's backs. If one of us stumbles, the other is there to snatch the second up off the ground and say, "rub some dirt on it and let's go." Okay, that's more her style but I've grown fond of it. Helps to keep me from drowning in my own self pity shit. We have this saying, you and me against the world and we live by that mantra. She's my very best friend. She laughs at my stupid shit and I sure as hell laugh at her's. We've been through some very, very tough years but I believe one of the main reasons that we've managed to get through it together is because we're best friends. Because we are such best friends, we're able to call each other out on the other's shit. We may not always like each other but the love has never nor will it ever fade. Plus, nothing funner than giving rations of shit to my best friend. I used to think that an ideal relationship for me would have to involve the other person changing to fit my needs or me being someone I thought they wanted. Little did I know that the reality was that we'd want to mesh our needs and wants because we enjoy making the other happy. And I couldn't be happier or feel more content. So yea, ideal relationship for us, best friends + us against the world = perfect for us. I Get Long Winded Sometimes, Brute.

10-03-2014, 02:51 PM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think it depends on what you mean by "best friend" so perhaps that term is problematic. There are things I talk about with my best friend that I would not in any way shape or form appreciate from my partner, ever. I talk about people who I'd like to fuck with my best mate and she tells me. I don't wanna hear that from my partner. That is for a certain kind of jocularity I don't want to hear. That's for her best blokey mates, not me. I don't mind that she finds other people attractive, it's healthy. I don't mind she notices or even occationally has a side dish of fun. I don't want to hear the details of what she wants to do with other girls in her head. I don't want her pointing out girls to me in a bar. I don't want to hear comments about girls tits when she's watching tv. She can share those things with her best blokey mates. I also don't want to spend 24/7 with her. I attribute those things to people's best mates. So I think everyone's dictionary or terms are goin to be different.

10-03-2014, 03:18 PM	#4
ProfPacker Member How Do You Identify?: butch/MOC Preferred Pronoun?: Hy/hym/hys but in circumstances like work and some other places she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: nj Posts: 1,365 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,023 Thanked 4,816 Times in 1,187 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I think for me, this is a loaded question. After coming out of a committed, monogamous relationship for 34 years, I am not so sure what my ideal relationship looked like. For a lot of those 34 years there were more moments and times that we were best friends, know each other like no one else, we raised children together, shared friends, families, etc. We owned homes together, shared money, but did not have similar libidos or tastes in what was satisfying. So now, what is it that I want? I want someone kind, respectful, fulfilled with their own life, independent. I want more of a butch femme dance (although what that is will change as needs change and the relationship grows). I am a top and really do not enjoy being a bottom, so I would want someone who would want and enjoy that aspect of our relationship in bed. I am not sure whether I want separate or joined homes. I do think that before homes are joined separate is necessary to see, really see, if joining homes suits both our needs and enhances the relationship. I want tenderness, a tender person who will let me be tender and loving (maybe other things in sexually, kink and what is agreed upon by us). I want someone who is passionate about their work and understands that my work takes a lot of time and energy. It depends on our work but we might for a time live in different cities or states because it would be hard for me to get another position full time somewhere else for various reasons. Someone who supports gender expression in all forms, who is open to difference. Someone who understands my crazy family and dynamics. Someone who knows I have kids and they are an important part of my life. We don't have to have "the same tastes" but a sense of humor is very important (dark or silly or corny). Someone who I can learn from and can learn from me. Not sure what else to say