Demographics of how we date/partner/be single

imperfect_cupcake · 10-13-2014, 01:50 PM

I have never been a serial monogamist. I wasn't raised with it, my friends didn't practice it, I didn't really come across it until I went totally dyke 25/26 and started dating cross the border for butches. Then I was suddenly hit with "monogamy after the first date"

I didn't even really date before that. Hanging out with people, being friends, having sex and then one person becomes really special and I'd fall in love. Once the romance started, *then* the dating started.

So I have tried since mid 20s to get a grasp on something I'll probably never get...

MsTinkerbelly · 10-13-2014, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I have never been a serial monogamist. I wasn't raised with it, my friends didn't practice it, I didn't really come across it until I went totally dyke 25/26 and started dating cross the border for butches. Then I was suddenly hit with "monogamy after the first date"

I didn't even really date before that. Hanging out with people, being friends, having sex and then one person becomes really special and I'd fall in love. Once the romance started, *then* the dating started.

So I have tried since mid 20s to get a grasp on something I'll probably never get...

I think if i had not been socialized to be monog i would probably be poly. I can love more than one person at a time, perhaps in slightly different ways, but i have experienced it before several times.

Jesse · 10-13-2014, 10:21 PM

Single, not dating at the moment. Very little, if any opportunity for a trans guy in this small town as far as dating goes. If there were, I would prefer to date monogamously and see where that goes.

LOQUI · 10-14-2014, 01:27 AM

Hmm where is the option for Single, no dating, having casual sex (I wish!)

imperfect_cupcake · 10-14-2014, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOQUI

Hmm where is the option for Single, no dating, having casual sex (I wish!)

That's what the slash is for - it means either or...

Single casual dating AND/OR casual sex

Like the slashes between the types of being partnered...

I'm not dating right now. But I am up for fwb (casual sex) so that's what I chose.

Random · 10-14-2014, 03:17 AM

Married, Poly, my sex is NEVER casual.. grin.. I take sex very serious.. I'm a professional like that... Not dating at this time..

imperfect_cupcake · 10-14-2014, 08:00 AM

For those who ONLY monogamously date people (before you are considered their partner)

are your first dates the first time you have met them?

Do you become monogamous right after the first time you meet them, on that first date?

Do you need to have a crush on them right after the first date?

If you have two people ask you out on a date from a dating site, let's say, and you don't know either of them, but they both sound nice, and you only talk to both of them a little bit before they asked, how do you decide which one you will monogamously date? And if you go out on five dates with one and it doesn't work out, have you slept with that person once?
So it doesn't work out... You slept with them once, it's just not working after five dates... Do you go back to the first one you thought was nice as well and say "hi... Um... Oops! Wrong choice, let's try dating!"

Do you need to have a crush on someone to date them?

Do you have heavy crushes on people before you sleep with them or know them well?

If you haven't slept with someone yet and someone else asks you out on a date, would you say yes if you thought they were attractive (as a person) and you were curious ?

Does monogamously dating only count if you are sleeping with the person? If you aren't sleeping with them yet can you still date other people and still consider yourself a monogamous dater? Or is it from the first date, right there that you can only date them, even if you haven't slept together yet?

View Poll Results: How do we date/partner/be single?
Single, not dating, not having casual sex	28	29.17%
Single, casual dating/casual sex	8	8.33%
Single, dating one person, no commitments	12	12.50%
Seeing someone/partnered/married - closed relationship - monogamy or polyfidelity	36	37.50%
Seeing people/someone, partnered or married - open relationships- nonmonogamy/polyamory ect	12	12.50%
Voters: 96. You may not vote on this poll

10-13-2014, 10:21 PM	#3
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Single, not dating at the moment. Very little, if any opportunity for a trans guy in this small town as far as dating goes. If there were, I would prefer to date monogamously and see where that goes. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

10-14-2014, 03:17 AM	#6
Random Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: back in the land of trees and snow Posts: 2,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,017 Thanked 5,327 Times in 1,378 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Married, Poly, my sex is NEVER casual.. grin.. I take sex very serious.. I'm a professional like that... Not dating at this time.. __________________ ~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"

10-13-2014, 01:50 PM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have never been a serial monogamist. I wasn't raised with it, my friends didn't practice it, I didn't really come across it until I went totally dyke 25/26 and started dating cross the border for butches. Then I was suddenly hit with "monogamy after the first date" I didn't even really date before that. Hanging out with people, being friends, having sex and then one person becomes really special and I'd fall in love. Once the romance started, then the dating started. So I have tried since mid 20s to get a grasp on something I'll probably never get...

10-14-2014, 01:27 AM	#4
LOQUI Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Non Binary, Trans, Always Me. :) Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,139 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,335 Thanked 2,486 Times in 848 Posts Rep Power: 19030327	Hmm where is the option for Single, no dating, having casual sex (I wish!)

10-14-2014, 08:00 AM	#7
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	For those who ONLY monogamously date people (before you are considered their partner) are your first dates the first time you have met them? Do you become monogamous right after the first time you meet them, on that first date? Do you need to have a crush on them right after the first date? If you have two people ask you out on a date from a dating site, let's say, and you don't know either of them, but they both sound nice, and you only talk to both of them a little bit before they asked, how do you decide which one you will monogamously date? And if you go out on five dates with one and it doesn't work out, have you slept with that person once? So it doesn't work out... You slept with them once, it's just not working after five dates... Do you go back to the first one you thought was nice as well and say "hi... Um... Oops! Wrong choice, let's try dating!" Do you need to have a crush on someone to date them? Do you have heavy crushes on people before you sleep with them or know them well? If you haven't slept with someone yet and someone else asks you out on a date, would you say yes if you thought they were attractive (as a person) and you were curious ? Does monogamously dating only count if you are sleeping with the person? If you aren't sleeping with them yet can you still date other people and still consider yourself a monogamous dater? Or is it from the first date, right there that you can only date them, even if you haven't slept together yet?