PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Andrew, Jr.]

Tuffboi29,

Yes, they are night terrors. I have those. I find myself kicking, hitting, screaming, and the like. Go see a sleep disorder doc. Get a study done. Then from there you will be sent to a therapist. Go. See if you can get relief.

[JustBeingMe]

Yep, those are night terrors as they call them. I have them too. I have night terrors all the time. Sometimes I remember them, sometimes I can't remember most of the event of the dream. I wake up sweating, panicky,breathing hard, chest pounding, and mostly can't get back to sleep cause it's racing in my mind.....WTF just happened is usually one of those things I ask myself .I don't sleep well as it is, insomnia alot, and when I do sleep, I crash and burn hard, and then the night terrors begin, waking me up, and I am exhausted all over again. It's PTSD, anxiety,stress, and depression that triggers a lot of this. I am going through a lot of crap right now and it's just going to take time to get this done and over with. Not knowing the outcome is the hard part as well. Being at home with family where I am not really wanted but can't afford to leave in the first place is a huge stressor on top of all the other stuff. I just wish I could move on with my life, but financially I am being strangled to death paying for something I should not have to, and I can't afford to move at this point. If I could, I would never have gone home in the first place. My family doesn't understand let alone do my siblings care, and mom breathing down my neck daily and calling me names don't help my anxiety and stress and depression and it's adding to my PTSD symptoms too.

[tuffboi29]

In the beginning i sought out this so-called 'help' and was told i had tourrettes(dont know if i spelled it right) because of facial and bodily tics that kept me out of public for years bacause of embarressment of being stared at.Also i was diagnosed a a scitzoefective(i know i didnt spell that right) because of these things i kept seeing.Now recently much to my relief i was told i have neither of those conditions and i wasnt hallucinating.I've been 're-living' all these unmentionable memories over and over while awake and while asleep.But guys...heres the kicker to it all....I did seek further help and made the damn shrink CRY!!!She said she could'nt help me and to go find a different therapist.So now i'm researching on my own and trying to find help anywhere possible.Even going to school for pschycology to study and treat myself.I can also relate to some of you when you say that family doesnt help and heightens the stress levels.Example:4 days ago I had a horrible panic attack that made me puke and had my ma standing over me at the toliet yelling at me to "stop it!!there's nothing wrong with you!!you just need to grow up and face life!!" Needless to say i should have my own apartment next week so i can panic in 'peace' so to speak.OK,so now I'm asking,will you all keep up the comments and suggestions, anything you've learned to lessen or ease these symptoms?I would so love to have a nap....


sinserly,
a confukled boi

[*Magic_and_Silk*]

Yes, I have PTSD. It came from years of horrible abuse from when my kids were young (They are both over 21 now). Last year I had a horrible episode and a person (they know who they are...no names) gave me a meditation that helped so much, I was astounded. I think it helped so much because I WANTED it to.

I have been to counseling.

I have read and cried and felt so alone. It brings tears to my eyes now to see how many other people have had to endure these things in life that were so terrible that it scarred so deeply. We are fragile souls, all of us, even in the midst of being strong.

Having PTSD is difficult, terrifying and so lonely. But, what is worse is knowing that there is no one in your immediate vicinity who will hold you while you cry. THAT is the worst. The thread is like the hug and TLC that I never got when I needed it most.

Thank you, so much, to all of you who have written here. Thank you for your courage and your honesty. When I am more comfortable (I am new here), and I know I won't cause waves, step on toes or be the target of more disdain or anger, I will tell my story.

Until then, Bless you all, EVERY ONE!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Magic and Silk,

I am glad you are here. You are most welcome to post here about whatever you wish too. Just know that this is a public site, and people are people. I take what some say with a grain of salt. You know what is best for you. Just be yourself. You are a gift from God. A treasure. We all know that. Make sure you know that too.

My father held a knife to me, and at my throat. I know what physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual violence from a parent is, and the damage it does. I come here getting support. I am responsible to myself, and to help myself heal, and move on with my life. It is like opening up . I have no other way of putting it. Just go with the flow. That is what most of us do.

Best regards,
Andrew and Dino

[*Magic_and_Silk*]

Andrew (and Dino),

Thank you for that. It was good advice.

I am always myself, on that you can depend.

[Apocalipstic]

I am amazed by how many of us have the same symptoms.

Yes, I have night terrors. I have had a sleep study and also have sleep apnea, but I was almost waking up 60 times an hour before I got my CPAP. Now as I fall asleep I jerk awake freaking out, or crying or talking to myself quite a bit. The more stressed I am, the more it happens.

I hear things and sometimes see things, but I know they are not real, so they tell me it is part of my PTSD, which mnakes sense considering what I see and hear. Also, I have ticks sometimes and I fall or things fly out of my hands or off shelves around me if I am really really freaked out.

Work has been busy and I kind of fel like my nerves are misfiring today.

I wish you all the best and a peaceful happy evening!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Apocalipstic,

I have sleep apnea too. My level was at 70. I use the nasal pillows. That works best for me. However, when I hit a period of stress I sleep walk, sleep talk, and all of pretty much the same as you.

If I have insomnia I take Ambien. However, I have been known to get in my car and drive. So, I have a dead bolt on my front door - inside out or backwards. That way I can't get outside and hurt myself or others.

I had to stop using my bypap machine because of how violent I am at night. I have been known to throw things, and move the matress off the bed (or vice versa), the sheets are always either on the ceiling fan, on the floor, or somewhere other than my bed. This happens each and every night.

I hope everyone has a good night!

Andrew

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Tuffboi29,

Yes, they are night terrors. I have those. I find myself kicking, hitting, screaming, and the like. Go see a sleep disorder doc. Get a study done. Then from there you will be sent to a therapist. Go. See if you can get relief.

I took your advice and ran with it wholeheardedly.Ive been hacking at this for a little while now and have been properly diagnosed which led to proper treatment.The nights are still rough but I'm sleeping longer.My therapist is pleased with what progress I've made in this seemingly short amount of time.All in all I have a renewed sense of hope.The misdiagnosis I had lived with for years is almost a distant memory and I find myself grateful that I no longer have to live with the shame and fear it brought to my life.For with the label that was tacked so carelessly on me there was no hope or cure.At least now I am learning new coping skills and have hope for the future for if I keep at it...I WILL get better,because now there is the option to.Don't get me wrong I know that this will never fully leave me...but there is a better way to live with it and overcome the fear and 'fight or flight' that plauges me everyday.

Lastly I would like to give my thanks for this thread.I am no longer alone.I have a place to ask for help or simply leave my fears.I find myself coming back in here often just to reread everyones words.I find them a comfort when I can't sleep knowing one of you may be reading the same thing and are...in some way sitting up with me.

[Canela]

Praise God...I feel soooo much better today! Thank you all of you who prayed and who wished me well...I feel like my old self again...the battle is over! Amen!

Here's wishing all of you here a better day too!