Bed Side Preference and Dominance

randrum · 01-30-2015, 07:24 AM

It's funny. I never thought about this until reading this thread. But I do have a side of the bed.

When sleeping with a partner, I've always slept nearest to the door. Just sort of naturally (unconsciously) gravitated there.

But currently only my dog shares my bed. And I have noticed (and commented to other people) that he always positions himself between me and the door. Guess he thinks it's his job to protect me.

Gemme · 01-30-2015, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Do people really have a lot of strangers coming into the house in the middle of the night?
Its just nothing I ever worry about. It's only happened twice in my life and both times it wasn't just one person subduing the guy, it was all of us. Save the one calling the police.

But in either case, it didn't matter what side of the bed any of us were on. We were all needed.

And it's just nothing I ever worry about. I asked my mates, out of curiosity, and their answer was no. Save two people we had some anxiety issues. But these are all people in vancouver, Calgary, toronto, london, oxoford, amsterdam, koln, and Christchurch.

Is this a states thing? Or?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Priceless

(and so spot on).

You know (N.) Americans, and the legacy of thought that we always need to be at the ready to defend ourselves (mostly seen in places where there is the least amount of crime). We all have our shotguns next to the door, too.

(IC, thanks for the bursting out laughter this morning. Your delivery was great.)

Dapper, I'm surprised at you!

cupcake, it depends on where you live. Sure, some people have a 'protective' instinct regardless of gender or identity but I imagine it comes down to life experience for many.

Some live in high crime areas, so yes, an intrusion might be a possibility. You yourself said it's happened to you twice. As an adult, it has not happened to me at all. *knock on wood*

Also, I would imagine there's the emotional and psychological component. In a lot of situations, especially with butches, FTMS, transguys and others who do not or could not 'hide' their orientation, prejudice plays a part. We all know that people will often step to our partners, brothers and sisters and be ugly with hate. It can promote an 'us vs. them' mentality which may play into it.

I know that I am fiercely protective of my personal space. It's my adult womb, I guess you could say. And, for many, the core of that womb is the bedroom. It's a place of intimacy and vulnerability that we share with our life partners. Who wants an uninvited someone to penetrate that sanctity?

I hope I'm making sense.

imperfect_cupcake · 01-30-2015, 08:50 AM

But even though it's happened twice I highly ever doubt it would happen again. And my butch partners don't seem to feel they have to protect me in their own home. I did say I asked all my friends who aren't americans and no, none of them say it crosses their mind. London has some very high crime rates. No one there that I'm friends with thinks about this.

I'm going to assume this is an American thing I won't get.

01-30-2015, 07:24 AM	#1
randrum Member How Do You Identify?: Boi Preferred Pronoun?: Just call me G Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,480 Thanked 3,056 Times in 668 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	It's funny. I never thought about this until reading this thread. But I do have a side of the bed. When sleeping with a partner, I've always slept nearest to the door. Just sort of naturally (unconsciously) gravitated there. But currently only my dog shares my bed. And I have noticed (and commented to other people) that he always positions himself between me and the door. Guess he thinks it's his job to protect me.

01-30-2015, 08:50 AM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	But even though it's happened twice I highly ever doubt it would happen again. And my butch partners don't seem to feel they have to protect me in their own home. I did say I asked all my friends who aren't americans and no, none of them say it crosses their mind. London has some very high crime rates. No one there that I'm friends with thinks about this. I'm going to assume this is an American thing I won't get.