FTM's and Transitioning

[Logicaly]

Since we are starting to share our stories, and I know how some times sharing stories and experiences can be beneficial to others, here is my story...

It all started on a dark and stormy night....well not really.

It probably started way back in Kindergarten, and I just never realized it. I never wanted to wear the dresses that my parents wanted me to. I never wanted to be on the girls teams for any games of tag, and I certainly never wanted to play with barbies, I wanted the GI Joes. On the rare days I did have to wear a dress, like school picture days, I would cry, and cry...it just felt so wrong. Then when puberty started...I hated myself, and I hated life for being so cruel to me and I didn't understand why it had to happen and be the way that it was. I just wanted it to end. I used to fantasize about being a guy, as early as 2nd grade, it just felt more natural to me. I felt like a freak, all through elementary school, like something was wrong with me, and I was carrying this dirty secret.

It wasn't until high school that I started exploring things more. I started coming out to very close friends as bi-sexual, letting a few very close female friends know that I was into them, and having them be into me, helped make that feel even better. Also, in high school I started going online and pretending to be a boy. I know that wasn't the most honest thing to do, but as a teenager, struggling with figuring out who they are, and feeling like a freak of nature, it was all I could do. I had a few girlfriends, while pretending to be this guy online and being seen as a guy, never felt more right. At the same time, the fact that it felt right, just made me feel more like something was wrong with me, after all, what kind of person wants to be a gender other than the one they are, right?

It wasn't until just after college, that I met a woman who was in the process of her own transition, that showed me that it was okay to be the person I felt that I was. She allowed me to publicly be the man that I always felt I was. It was at that point I started exploring it more in my personal life, although it was still a few years until I was able to tell my family. I was terrified to tell my Dad. We always worry about the things we shouldn't though. My Dad, and my family have all been amazingly supportive of me.

So I started hormone therapy about 5, maybe 6 years ago now. I started on a very low dose injection and have worked my way up to 1.5mL. I am terrified of needles, so I don't do my own injections. I have an amazingly supportive partner who does them for me, and she is so great that I don't even feel them generally. There was a time there where I didn't stay on schedule as much as I should, so my levels have fluctuated a bit, but now that my current partner is doing them for me, we are staying on schedule and things are moving along again.

I have been living publicly as a male, both at work, and in every aspect of my life for 5 years now as well. I have had my name legally changed, both first and middle. I took my grandfathers first name as my middle name, in honor of him after he passed. My drivers license was also changed to male as well. So now I am currently working on saving for top surgery. My insurance is Kaiser, and they would cover it, if I went with a surgeon in their network...but I want the best, so I am willing to pay out of pocket for it. We have worked out a plan to hopefully be ready to pay for it, by March of 2016. At this time, I have no desire to have any other surgeries. I do not like the end result looks of the genital surgeries, so unless I see some advancements on that, that likely won't happen for me, and I am okay with that.

As I mentioned before, I am really blessed to have such a supportive partner. She supports me in every aspect of it, and takes an active role in my transition. My family is also very amazing, I can't explain how good it feels to hear my Dad call me his son, my sister her brother and my nephew his uncle.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

My insurance is Kaiser, and they would cover it, if I went with a surgeon in their network...but I want the best, so I am willing to pay out of pocket for it.

Makes sense. So, when are you scheduled with Garramone?

We all have our favorites, my man.

I thought that Crane took Kaiser? I just looked now on his site and didn't see anything on insurance companies, but I could have sworn I read somewhere that he took Kaiser.

1.5ml every two weeks IM?

If IM, have you ever considered Sub-q?

http://transguys.com/ref/research/su...ous-injections

Thanks for sharing your story!!

[deb0670]

I have good news. Our son has an appointment in June for his first physical and consultation. A week to a week and a half after that, he will be getting his first prescription for T.
He is going to see a therapist to get a letter for top surgery, and the place he is going to will take care all of the pre and post stuff. Also.. Very very likely due to medical issues.. He will most likely be able to have a hysterectomy sooner rather than later.
Best part about all this.. Everything is super affordable!!
To be able to share this news with him when he came home from school the other day and see the look on his face... Did this Momma worlds of good.

[LeftWriteFemme]

[Logicaly]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Makes sense. So, when are you scheduled with Garramone?

We all have our favorites, my man.

I thought that Crane took Kaiser? I just looked now on his site and didn't see anything on insurance companies, but I could have sworn I read somewhere that he took Kaiser.

1.5ml every two weeks IM?

If IM, have you ever considered Sub-q?

http://transguys.com/ref/research/su...ous-injections

Thanks for sharing your story!!

Hey Dapper, sorry for the late reply. It is indeed 1.5ml every two weeks IM. I have looked into Sub-q, but it didn't look like it was something as widely used yet. I read some where too about issues with it just sitting under the skin, and not being absorbed, I tried to find the article again that I read, but can't seem to do so now. I currently do my insulin Sub-q and am so thankful that those needles are small. I know however due to how thick the T is, that the needle would still need to be substantially large, and I think that is the biggest problem I run into with my own fears, because I don't have as much issue with my insulin needles.

Originally Posted by deb0670

I have good news. Our son has an appointment in June for his first physical and consultation. A week to a week and a half after that, he will be getting his first prescription for T.
He is going to see a therapist to get a letter for top surgery, and the place he is going to will take care all of the pre and post stuff. Also.. Very very likely due to medical issues.. He will most likely be able to have a hysterectomy sooner rather than later.
Best part about all this.. Everything is super affordable!!
To be able to share this news with him when he came home from school the other day and see the look on his face... Did this Momma worlds of good.

Deb, I am so happy to hear that news for your son! That is quite wonderful!

[Kent]

I've not really been around this site much in the last few months, almost a year, but I wanted to come in here and participate. I appreciate the guys who have transitioned before me talking about their experiences and sharing them with us here.

I started my transition February 2013 with my first dose of Testosterone. It was the best day of my life so far. It's been a life saver for me in terms of being happy with myself and who I am.

I went to court with the required documents in April 2013 and had my name legally changed without a lawyer. I obtained the documents off the website texaslawhelp.org. The Judge approved my name change in a little over an hour of dropping off the paperwork to his legal secretary.

March 2014, I went back to court with my name and gender marker change documents. I added my middle name which was my father's middle name and I had my gender marker changed. I had all the necessary documents I needed to legally change everything. Once again, no lawyer was needed. I dropped off my paperwork to the Judge himself this time, since his secretary was out of the office. He called me back in less than an hour and told me my order was ready and I could pick it up.

As soon as I picked up the order from the court, I went and changed my driver's license and social security card. Everyone was very professional and respectful while making these changes.

Now, I've got my house for sale. I'm about to go get top surgery. Life is good. I've never been happier.

[deb0670]

Our son is on his way to his Senior Prom. He is so Dapper in his suit and tie. Such a proud Momma here.

[Kent]

Originally Posted by deb0670

Our son is on his way to his Senior Prom. He is so Dapper in his suit and tie. Such a proud Momma here.

Deb, that's so cool that you support your son. I hope he has a great time at the prom tonight.

I'm so damn happy over here, I got my dates wrong.. all this happened in 2014 and 2015...not 2013 and 2014... I've been on T for 14 months now.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

Hey Dapper, sorry for the late reply. It is indeed 1.5ml every two weeks IM. I have looked into Sub-q, but it didn't look like it was something as widely used yet. I read some where too about issues with it just sitting under the skin, and not being absorbed, I tried to find the article again that I read, but can't seem to do so now. I currently do my insulin Sub-q and am so thankful that those needles are small. I know however due to how thick the T is, that the needle would still need to be substantially large, and I think that is the biggest problem I run into with my own fears, because I don't have as much issue with my insulin needles.



Deb, I am so happy to hear that news for your son! That is quite wonderful!

No, problem, Logicaly. The sub-q needles are small, 25 gauge, 5/8 inch. They are actually finding that this delivery system is more efficient than IM, with less testosterone needed to hit your correct levels. The studies continue to be replicated. You are correct that most places still use IM, but honestly, there is no reason for it. The data is clear. I a confident that this will be the T delivery system of choice at some point (or at least when it comes to injection type).

I am so glad I never had to do IM. I think that would freak me out.

Kent, thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you are so happy!

[The Oopster]

Not sure if anyone has posted this before but wanted others to know that some planned parenthoods offer transgender services.

I have a regular dr in Los Angeles but haven't been able to get down there.

Went to the one in Reno today and really was impressed with the dr. I saw.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pla...ender-services

[Vincent]

Just thought I would introduce myself to the trans community on here,I started transition 2007,so been on T 8 yrs,I have Reandron by injection,it is a slow release and I get it every 3 mths,I have had top surgery and hysterectomy,but because of cost and my health no bottom surgery.
Transitioning has changed my life,I had suffered terrible depression,and self hatred,all my life,I'm now happy with the reflection in the mirror,I am now doing things I never dreamt of doing,I'm traveling overseas on my own,learning piano,playing harmonica,and finally stopped trying to kill myself with unhealthy eating,and other forms of self hatred.

I do believe in gender dysphoria and I have a high level,there is no way I would ever go back,even though I pretty much lost my whole family and most old friends,I now have an amazing community of trans folk,both men and women and the queer sex worker community and other activists,I have a brand new life,the only thing is the community in Sydney is young,which is why,I joined this site to network,with folks my own age,and maybe even meet a nice woman,but ultimately friendships.