What do you do for closure?

VintageFemme · 03-19-2015, 05:11 AM

For me, if a relationship doesn't end amicably, if there was deception or anger or anything that's negative, and thankfully I've only had one or two of those breakups, in my experience it's just time that heals the pain and gives me closure. People are so quick to jump from relationship to relationship without giving themselves and their hearts time to heal and truly have that closure. When you invest so much of yourself emotionally in someone else, that doesn't end with the flick of a switch like a light. It takes time and you are hurting yourself if you don't give you that time.

If however that relationship does end on good terms for whatever reason, then again in my experience, it's just a conversation that needs to be had. Sharing all of those emotions together and understanding what had happened or didn't happen. Creating yet another connection but this time to disconnect if that makes sense. You were with that person for a reason and remembering that reason is key to maintaining your own sense of value and worth.

Once again, based on my experience if you are negative and closed off. If you delete all that they were to you from your life. If you erase everything you were together, you are merely putting a bandaid on the wound and it will never heal. At some point and usually the most inconvenient moment in your future, that bandaid is going to rip off and you will be faced with that unhealed wound and be forced to either deal with it or find another bandaid. And bandaids are a temporary fix at best and should be used very cautiously.

Contessa · 03-19-2015, 10:46 AM

Life is too short to be bitter and angry. Bitterness and anger just festers and is bad for your health. I say, just let it all go. Wish them well...and mean it. Move forward; not backward. If you're able to be friends, great; if not, that happens..It's life. Keep looking ahead. Peace.

03-19-2015, 05:11 AM	#1
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,620 Times in 1,655 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	For me, if a relationship doesn't end amicably, if there was deception or anger or anything that's negative, and thankfully I've only had one or two of those breakups, in my experience it's just time that heals the pain and gives me closure. People are so quick to jump from relationship to relationship without giving themselves and their hearts time to heal and truly have that closure. When you invest so much of yourself emotionally in someone else, that doesn't end with the flick of a switch like a light. It takes time and you are hurting yourself if you don't give you that time. If however that relationship does end on good terms for whatever reason, then again in my experience, it's just a conversation that needs to be had. Sharing all of those emotions together and understanding what had happened or didn't happen. Creating yet another connection but this time to disconnect if that makes sense. You were with that person for a reason and remembering that reason is key to maintaining your own sense of value and worth. Once again, based on my experience if you are negative and closed off. If you delete all that they were to you from your life. If you erase everything you were together, you are merely putting a bandaid on the wound and it will never heal. At some point and usually the most inconvenient moment in your future, that bandaid is going to rip off and you will be faced with that unhealed wound and be forced to either deal with it or find another bandaid. And bandaids are a temporary fix at best and should be used very cautiously. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

03-19-2015, 10:46 AM	#2
Contessa Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: US Posts: 220 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 672 Times in 182 Posts Rep Power: 6048530	Life is too short to be bitter and angry. Bitterness and anger just festers and is bad for your health. I say, just let it all go. Wish them well...and mean it. Move forward; not backward. If you're able to be friends, great; if not, that happens..It's life. Keep looking ahead. Peace.