What Cracked You Up Today?

[CherryWine]

This probably cracked me up much more than it should have.

[Talon]

[ProfPacker]

Originally Posted by Talon

she is so sick, I love her. Thanks, needed today

[Blaze]

11 Blue Jays, 1 peanut. all pecking on it trying to get it opened.

Alas, it's opened, and there ready for their family feast to chow down.

1 sparrow. .. swoops down and grabs the hard worked meal.

11 angry blue Jays!

But I got another handful of peanuts, crushed them open. .wah laah.. 11 happy blue Jays and 1 sparrow, dine. ..

[Blade]

Setting the scene...
At Tractor Supply looking for dawg wormer, and finding it in a locked cabinet.

Jim an older gentlemen who works there came walking down the center aisle, close enough to me that I could hear his voice. I seemingly loudly said Jim I need to get in the closet. OMG, that took off. He said it takes long enough to get out of the closet don't get back in it. That was a good laugh for today

[JDeere]

Dad telling embarassing stories about my brother!

[Gemme]

Parking Notes

OMG....I actually guffawed out loud.

[Daniela]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Parking Notes

OMG....I actually guffawed out loud.

I love the incredibly detailed note and diagram. lol

[PaPa]

Still laughing about my blunder from a couple days ago. The gentleman across the street went down to his fiance's aunt's house (a couple doors down) and I had said "Good Morning" to him when I saw him. He didn't say anything and just grabbed a cigarette from his truck and went down. In a few moments he came walking back and once again said nothing, went in the fence and into the house. All of a sudden the neighbor came down (she owns the house) and I began talking to her as she was walking. She informed me the water broke. I said, "Oh boy. Did they know where to shut the main off?"

Fast forward later in the day...sitting out front recounting story to my sister. She says to me, "Oh was it the house or her?" I think for a moment and the light bulb goes off. I scratch my head and say, "Ya know....I don't know!"

Sister of the woman across the street is walking down the street and I say, "Heyy Cheyenne! I have a question for you." I recount the story and she bursts out laughing and says, "It is her. Her water broke."

Well duh!! Who knew?!? Thinks to myself well so much for finding the main to shut off. LOL!

Now is that butch mentality for ya or what?!?

[Kenna]

An adorable little boy with his bright yellow Minnions tshirt on, trying to catch tiny minnows with his bare hands , at the edge of the lake up to his ankles in sandy water, bent over with his butt in the air and his face about 3 inches from the water...fixated on catching "phishies" ...when we got home I told him to go clean up and change clothes because he smelled like dead phishies...to which he responded by smelling his tshirt and saying "no...LIVE phishies!"...

SMH...thank god he didn't bring any phishies home in my car!

[C0LLETTE]

The woman that owns this condo I rent sent me an email bill for 15 cents for Heating/AC in May. She wants me to send her the 15 cent cheque by mail to her vacation home in Florida.
I've been trying to compose a fitting reply for 4 days now.

[cinnamongrrl]

I found this magazine on my client's nightstand today...



I just KNEW it had to be a southern publication...girls down here are all about their gardens...AND their guns!!

[Kenna]

My buddy and I running through the rain storm to retrieve the baby goats from the front pasture...laughing as I grabbed them to put their leash on...then all five of us running back to their enclosure, soaking wet, the babies immediately loaded into their dawg house...as I'm dashing back to the house my buddy says "look your hair isn't even wet!"...made me laugh as the water was running off my curls down my face...once inside, trying to peal off wet clothes, naked in the bathroom I realized OH SHIT!! THE DOGS ARE STILL OUT BACK!!

[CherryWine]

My partner called in a dinner order to our favorite local Vietnamese restaurant. Instead of using the number beside the menu items she tried to pronounce the words (poorly, I might add). Well, it must have frustrated the older Vietnamese lady/chef who took the order because when she went in to pick it up, in broken English the lady said, “Oh, you are the one who called in the order. Don’t talk to me. Only give me the number. You cannot pronounce right.”

[Humanesque]

Me mentioning to someone that would be some Hollywood Stuff.

Lmao She is right and it is.

[C0LLETTE]

A friend sent this to me and it clarifies things so well, I thought I'd pass it on here:

It's a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a $100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the $100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the $100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the $100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. She then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the $100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 note back on the counter just as the traveller comes back down the stairs. He picks up his $100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, folks, is how the Greek bailout package works.

[Kenna]

Listening to the story of three little mutts raiding the burlap bag of potatoes ...one mutt in his "cone of shame", one short legged, shy but silent troublemaker, and the other usually clueless goofy clown of the bunch... I cracked up so hard when I heard the whole story....now the Three Musketeers are called TaterTots!

[CherryWine]

I think the girl on the far left took dance lessons from Elaine on "Seinfeld." Lol.

[Ascot]

Driving through the campus of a local community college earlier today, I saw a young woman, scantily clad, jogging on the sidewalk. Approaching her were three young men of a rather nerdish variety. I confess I experienced a bit of schadenfreude witnessing their clear discomfort as they tried to figure out where they should be looking. I had a ringside seat because I'd stopped to let pedestrians cross. I'll grant that it was a cheap thrill.

[Kobi]