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Old 04-26-2011, 11:32 PM   #6261
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Is it sad that I want an office job just to attempt to do half of this list?



Office work dull? None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?

Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution.

ONE-POINT GAGS

Run one lap around the office at top speed

Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT GAGS

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it"

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT GAGS

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and utter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up"!

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade"?

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.
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Old 04-27-2011, 12:08 AM   #6262
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixielady View Post
This is too cute .... Thx dixielady.


Someone gave me a sugarfree chocolate bunny. Somehow that seems wrong, and he is still standing tall, with ears, and tail in tact. I don't think he's gonna live till morning. In fact, it's time for his demise.....
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:27 AM   #6263
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There arent enough hours in the day...
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:21 AM   #6264
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Vacations are great, until they are over.
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Old 04-27-2011, 03:47 PM   #6265
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Ok ok , so today's weds., and the nurses were as tender as surrogate mothers...they did ask if it felt better...i sooo wanted to tell RN in charge " no-sniff-kiss the ouchie?", manners-chivalry etc.....oy
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Old 04-28-2011, 07:40 AM   #6266
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Looks like I'm gonna have to severely Limit my coconut water intake [strictly limited with Potassium]

-=--=- Facts(and some Myths) about Coconut Water -=- -=-



The talk: It speeds up your metabolism.
The truth: "This is an urban legend," says Liz Applegate, Ph.D., director of sports nutrition at the University of California in Davis. "There is no valid research proving it."
Another, albeit contradictory, myth: Coconut water makes you fat. This bad rap came from coconut milk, which is made from pressed coconut meat and packs 445 calories per cup, most from saturated fat. The water (the fluid in young coconuts) has only 46 calories per cup. Of course, for a truly trimming sip, opt for zero-calorie water, coffee or tea.

The talk: It's nature's sport drink
The truth: It's a fine post-workout chug for the average active Jane, but it falls short for more hard-core athletes.
The gist: When you exercise, you sweat out a lot of sodium and some potassium. You should replace both after intense sweat sessions (more than an hour a day), so your muscles contract properly. Coconut water is a potassium powerhouse, delivering roughly 600 milligrams per cup, about 175 mg more than a banana does and 13 times what most sport drinks offer. "The problem is that it has only about 30 milligrams of sodium per cup; we lose much more than that during a long workout," Applegate says. Thus, serious athletes may need a sport beverage with a higher sodium-to-potassium ratio, such as Gatorade or Powerade Ion4; lighter exercisers can rehydrate with whatever they like best, including coconut water or plain H²O.

The talk: It makes you look younger
The truth: Coconut water contains cytokinins, plant hormones shown to slow the aging process in plants and fruit flies, according to a study in Molecules. Alas, the benefits aren't yet proven in humans. The search for the fountain of youth continues.

The talk: It's a hangover helper
The truth: There's a reason the morning after a bender is so painful: Alcohol dehydrates you, leading to nausea and headaches. Like any drink, coconut water refills your H²O stores, but plain water does the job just as well, notes Samir Zakhari, Ph.D., director of the Division of Metabolism and Health Effects at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. As for electrolytes, our kidneys preserve them when we drink, so there's no need to replace them with coconut water. If the taste lifts your postspirits spirits, go for it; but you can save cash (and calories) with the tap.

The talk: It protects your ticker
The truth: Diets high in potassium can help lower blood pressure and promote heart health, says Andrea Giancoli, R.D., spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. Coconut water is a good source of the mineral, but it's better to get it from whole foods like veggies (spinach, sweet potatoes) and low-fat milk, which supply additional heart-healthy nutrients such as fiber and vitamin D.

Three more ways to crack this nut [no Pun]

1. Coconut milk: A sweet alternative to regular dairy, coconut milk is derived from the white meat of a mature coconut, and it provides almost as much healthy potassium as coconut water does. But beware its high saturated-fat content: One cup has about 43 grams. A few stores that cater to Health-conscience people, can have half-gallon coconut Milk cartons ready for consumption, some with added flavors for the adventurous.

2. Coconut milk beverage Diluted with water, it contains about five times fewer calories than conventional coconut milk. It tastes richer than coconut water.

3. Shredded coconut: Coconut meat isn't as high in potassium or sodium as coconut water, and it has about 388 calories and 22 g of saturated fat per cup. If you're tempted to cover yours in chocolate, opt for a snack-sized candy bar dipped in antioxidant-rich dark chocolate, which has only 80 calories and 3.5 g of saturated fat. (Don't mind if we do, Mounds bar!)
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:06 AM   #6267
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It's sunny here and I was thinking of driving down to the coast...
maybe do some shopping, watch the waves, walk the beach
(even if there's wind or rain), see if anyone is flying a kite...

I going to the beach!
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:11 AM   #6268
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Why is it that most places where you can get into a Work Study Program have f*cked up politics? United Way support the Boy Scouts of America, so that is out. American Red Cross is great, but they don't need anyone in my area. American Heart Association here is so disorganized (I have done volunteer work there) it would give me hives. Crap, crap, crappity crap.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:42 AM   #6269
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Office party today...<insert fake excited face>

my scanner is not working, IT guy was here yesterday and swears it was not him... so I guess it was the gremlins that travel with him? <perplexed>

Tomorrow is my flex day...

This weekend is Betaine and I am going to all night festival with like masks and drums and dancing and fire hopping AND EVERYTHING..but as you can see I am not at all excited...
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Old 04-28-2011, 03:11 PM   #6270
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Is it 8pm yet?
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Old 04-28-2011, 07:11 PM   #6271
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Do I really...Really wanna wake up at 5 AM, on dialysis Day, to watch an Event that will probably be repeated ad nauseum for years to come....Just say "I saw it Live"?.......Maybe...
You'd think the United States was a Commonwealth with all these specials.....
They better do similar for Felipe Prince of Asturias & of Borbón's Coronation....
(Japan too!! hmpf)
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Old 04-28-2011, 09:24 PM   #6272
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More pain clinics in town than McDonalds and lax regs in FL? No wonder they are drug running, good grief.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:33 PM   #6273
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:55 PM   #6274
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I have this song on repeat on my MP3 and, even though it's a pretty song, I don't know why.

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Old 04-28-2011, 11:03 PM   #6275
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
I have this song on repeat on my MP3 and, even though it's a pretty song, I don't know why.

f^cking love it Gemme!
*awesome stuff*

~D
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:13 PM   #6276
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Default Citizen Kane | Sideways (on repeat)



Love the strings in this song (organ too)...




<~~ is having a beautiful night
(i'm done with school!)
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:37 AM   #6277
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after hearing gripe after gripe in another news outlet with people almost collectively saying "who cares?? wheres the real news??"

I had to say, and still do...

Let's see..
An elegant long-awaited Royal wedding of the son of a once very Loved Princess [remember she was divorced] that passed away Tragic, a sweet simple yet Proper for Royalty wedding(I do like the dress, William didn't play "tonsil hockey", and yet he still Blushed), a very nice "Rags"-to-Royalty tale culminated[Catherine was a 'commoner']...Or...Bombings, death, Depressing stories of tornadoes, floods, Birth Certificates, Donald Trumps hair transplant, civil Wars, shitty Gas prices because we are the crack-addict $6 whores of Oil world to Saudi Arabia's Pimp....
Hmmmmmmm.....
I'll stick to ridiculously "lavish" Royal wedding...
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:35 PM   #6278
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The Wee One got an early BD gift from her Godmother - a cute lil netbook as her computer fried during one of the storms we had here.

Perfect child that she is, she of course lent it to me to use in the hosp. It took me almost three days to figure out how to get around the net nanny and get to this site And today they let me go home

Note to self - always keep the instructions that come with the software

Of course it did allow me to get on Farmville lol
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:03 PM   #6279
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Should always light the way
Never leave you in darkness
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:26 PM   #6280
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I say it is worth the trip.

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