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#6261 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 25
Thanks: 26
Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts
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Is it sad that I want an office job just to attempt to do half of this list?
Office work dull? None of your colleagues appreciate your humour? Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution. ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way" Walk sideways to the photocopier. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it" Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and utter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up"! At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again". Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade"? Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it". Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.
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Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper. |
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#6262 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Usually "Hello" Relationship Status:
Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) ![]() Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach.
Posts: 8,151
Thanks: 13,621
Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,969 Posts
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#6263 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Aberdeen, WA
Posts: 4,478
Thanks: 12,464
Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts
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There arent enough hours in the day...
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--Jenn |
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#6264 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Neither here or there
Posts: 7,987
Thanks: 27,733
Thanked 18,935 Times in 4,705 Posts
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Vacations are great, until they are over.
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#6265 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?:
Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 2,280
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Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts
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Ok ok , so today's weds., and the nurses were as tender as surrogate mothers...they did ask if it felt better...i sooo wanted to tell RN in charge " no-sniff-kiss the ouchie?", manners-chivalry etc.....oy
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#6266 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?:
Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 2,280
Thanks: 2,227
Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts
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![]() ![]() ![]() -=--=- Facts(and some Myths) about Coconut Water -=- -=- The talk: It speeds up your metabolism. The truth: "This is an urban legend," says Liz Applegate, Ph.D., director of sports nutrition at the University of California in Davis. "There is no valid research proving it." Another, albeit contradictory, myth: Coconut water makes you fat. This bad rap came from coconut milk, which is made from pressed coconut meat and packs 445 calories per cup, most from saturated fat. The water (the fluid in young coconuts) has only 46 calories per cup. Of course, for a truly trimming sip, opt for zero-calorie water, coffee or tea. The talk: It's nature's sport drink The truth: It's a fine post-workout chug for the average active Jane, but it falls short for more hard-core athletes. The gist: When you exercise, you sweat out a lot of sodium and some potassium. You should replace both after intense sweat sessions (more than an hour a day), so your muscles contract properly. Coconut water is a potassium powerhouse, delivering roughly 600 milligrams per cup, about 175 mg more than a banana does and 13 times what most sport drinks offer. "The problem is that it has only about 30 milligrams of sodium per cup; we lose much more than that during a long workout," Applegate says. Thus, serious athletes may need a sport beverage with a higher sodium-to-potassium ratio, such as Gatorade or Powerade Ion4; lighter exercisers can rehydrate with whatever they like best, including coconut water or plain H²O. The talk: It makes you look younger The truth: Coconut water contains cytokinins, plant hormones shown to slow the aging process in plants and fruit flies, according to a study in Molecules. Alas, the benefits aren't yet proven in humans. The search for the fountain of youth continues. The talk: It's a hangover helper The truth: There's a reason the morning after a bender is so painful: Alcohol dehydrates you, leading to nausea and headaches. Like any drink, coconut water refills your H²O stores, but plain water does the job just as well, notes Samir Zakhari, Ph.D., director of the Division of Metabolism and Health Effects at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. As for electrolytes, our kidneys preserve them when we drink, so there's no need to replace them with coconut water. If the taste lifts your postspirits spirits, go for it; but you can save cash (and calories) with the tap. The talk: It protects your ticker The truth: Diets high in potassium can help lower blood pressure and promote heart health, says Andrea Giancoli, R.D., spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. Coconut water is a good source of the mineral, but it's better to get it from whole foods like veggies (spinach, sweet potatoes) and low-fat milk, which supply additional heart-healthy nutrients such as fiber and vitamin D. Three more ways to crack this nut [no Pun] 1. Coconut milk: A sweet alternative to regular dairy, coconut milk is derived from the white meat of a mature coconut, and it provides almost as much healthy potassium as coconut water does. But beware its high saturated-fat content: One cup has about 43 grams. A few stores that cater to Health-conscience people, can have half-gallon coconut Milk cartons ready for consumption, some with added flavors for the adventurous. 2. Coconut milk beverage Diluted with water, it contains about five times fewer calories than conventional coconut milk. It tastes richer than coconut water. 3. Shredded coconut: Coconut meat isn't as high in potassium or sodium as coconut water, and it has about 388 calories and 22 g of saturated fat per cup. If you're tempted to cover yours in chocolate, opt for a snack-sized candy bar dipped in antioxidant-rich dark chocolate, which has only 80 calories and 3.5 g of saturated fat. (Don't mind if we do, Mounds bar!)
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#6267 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, please. Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ
Posts: 16,037
Thanks: 30,169
Thanked 33,502 Times in 10,633 Posts
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It's sunny here and I was thinking of driving down to the coast...
maybe do some shopping, watch the waves, walk the beach (even if there's wind or rain), see if anyone is flying a kite... I ![]() |
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#6268 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Queen City, MO
Posts: 420
Thanks: 14
Thanked 969 Times in 261 Posts
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Why is it that most places where you can get into a Work Study Program have f*cked up politics? United Way support the Boy Scouts of America, so that is out. American Red Cross is great, but they don't need anyone in my area. American Heart Association here is so disorganized (I have done volunteer work there) it would give me hives. Crap, crap, crappity crap.
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#6269 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
spiritually minded dirt dog Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 898
Thanks: 3,957
Thanked 2,593 Times in 663 Posts
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Office party today...<insert fake excited face>
my scanner is not working, IT guy was here yesterday and swears it was not him... so I guess it was the gremlins that travel with him? ![]() Tomorrow is my flex day... This weekend is Betaine and I am going to all night festival with like masks and drums and dancing and fire hopping AND EVERYTHING..but as you can see I am not at all excited... ![]()
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Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Muriel Strode |
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#6270 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Mr. Prickly Porcupine Preferred Pronoun?:
Butch - Hy, Hym, Hys Relationship Status:
She has softened My quills Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Permanently Banned 8/8/2011
Posts: 4,880
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Thanked 5,264 Times in 2,732 Posts
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Is it 8pm yet?
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#6271 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?:
Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 2,280
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Do I really...Really wanna wake up at 5 AM, on dialysis Day, to watch an Event that will probably be repeated ad nauseum for years to come....Just say "I saw it Live"?.......Maybe...
You'd think the United States was a Commonwealth with all these specials..... They better do similar for Felipe Prince of Asturias & of Borbón's Coronation.... (Japan too!! hmpf) ![]() ![]()
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#6272 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
a cynical princess wannabe Preferred Pronoun?:
lipgloss junkie Relationship Status:
yep Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: the ville
Posts: 3,027
Thanks: 2,544
Thanked 6,765 Times in 1,846 Posts
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More pain clinics in town than McDonalds and lax regs in FL? No wonder they are drug running, good grief.
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"Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love." - Wally Lamb |
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#6273 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A mixity Preferred Pronoun?:
whatever Relationship Status:
chillin Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: in a really really cute little place
Posts: 2,144
Thanks: 2,442
Thanked 4,528 Times in 1,220 Posts
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#6274 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
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I have this song on repeat on my MP3 and, even though it's a pretty song, I don't know why.
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#6275 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, please. Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ
Posts: 16,037
Thanks: 30,169
Thanked 33,502 Times in 10,633 Posts
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#6276 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, please. Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ
Posts: 16,037
Thanks: 30,169
Thanked 33,502 Times in 10,633 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Love the strings in this song (organ too)... ![]() <~~ is having a beautiful night (i'm done with school!) |
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#6277 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?:
Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 2,280
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after hearing gripe after gripe in another news outlet with people almost collectively saying "who cares?? wheres the real news??"
I had to say, and still do... Let's see.. An elegant long-awaited Royal wedding of the son of a once very Loved Princess [remember she was divorced] that passed away Tragic, a sweet simple yet Proper for Royalty wedding(I do like the dress, William didn't play "tonsil hockey", and yet he still Blushed), a very nice "Rags"-to-Royalty tale culminated[Catherine was a 'commoner']...Or...Bombings, death, Depressing stories of tornadoes, floods, Birth Certificates, Donald Trumps hair transplant, civil Wars, shitty Gas prices because we are the crack-addict $6 whores of Oil world to Saudi Arabia's Pimp.... Hmmmmmmm..... I'll stick to ridiculously "lavish" Royal wedding...
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#6278 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Princess Relationship Status:
Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mount Airy, NC
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Thanks: 14,554
Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts
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The Wee One got an early BD gift from her Godmother - a cute lil netbook as her computer fried during one of the storms we had here.
Perfect child that she is, she of course lent it to me to use in the hosp. It took me almost three days to figure out how to get around the net nanny and get to this site ![]() ![]() Note to self - always keep the instructions that come with the software ![]() Of course it did allow me to get on Farmville ![]()
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Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive... ![]() |
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#6279 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Princess Relationship Status:
Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mount Airy, NC
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Thanks: 14,554
Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts
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![]() ![]() Should always light the way
Never leave you in darkness
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Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive... ![]() |
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#6280 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Mr. Prickly Porcupine Preferred Pronoun?:
Butch - Hy, Hym, Hys Relationship Status:
She has softened My quills Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Permanently Banned 8/8/2011
Posts: 4,880
Thanks: 6,221
Thanked 5,264 Times in 2,732 Posts
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I say it is worth the trip.
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Tags |
randomly, randomly post, stuff |
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