07-04-2011, 03:34 PM | #81 |
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My experience is that young people are often mortified by their parents.
I used to hate it when my mother sang in public, think Lotte Lenya! My students hate it when I am standing in front of the board, and they say, Move, Miss Chancie, and I dance a little before I move. They blush and roll their eyes, and generally convey that I am an embarrassing person all around. And I think some young people are uncomfortable with evidence that their adults are sexual beings, but Sexuality is a healthy part of life, and I want young people to own their own bodies, and to be in touch with their own sexual feelings, and I want them to see the adults in their lives modeling passionate love. I don't 'get' furries, though I do 'get' butt plugs, but Who gets to decide what is 'normal'? |
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07-04-2011, 03:34 PM | #82 | |
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Last edited by Heart; 07-04-2011 at 03:36 PM. |
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07-04-2011, 03:42 PM | #83 | |
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No child should be exposed to their parents' sexual anything...it's creepy at 12 and still creepy at 51. Obviously this father and the g/f have some maturity issues if they cannot reel it in and keep things private. If g/f must wear her collar and tail in public...we all know there are smaller collars and locks and as for the tail, i am fairly certain there is a discreet way for wearing that in public as well... |
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07-04-2011, 03:47 PM | #84 |
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i have a male straight friend that cross dresses. Him and his wife go out together. Their kids are around the same age as this kid and know all about daddy's fetish. Being a furry can and for some is a non sexual fetish just like cross dressing. It can be a form of expression that has no sexual impact but gives a person a chance to express themselves freely. I feel/think people opinions here need some fresh outlooks. I am off to go splish splash with the man cub as a transgendered slave which he knows and understands about because he is communicated with. Personally I think/feel the girlfriends transgendered status is as unimportant as the kids sexual orientation.
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07-04-2011, 03:51 PM | #85 | |
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07-04-2011, 04:40 PM | #86 |
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I too see NOWHERE in the OP's words where the child exposed to anything sexual, tails and collars do not equate sex. I find it ridiculous that now the adults have to get smaller collars?? WTF, how about we not expose kids to individuals that are inked, or pierced gawwwwd knows that may equate sex (NOT)
I reread the original post and Okie seems more disturbed over a. The tail B. The huge lock C. The furrie part NONE of these descriptors indicate sexual relations are happening in front of the child. So, can someone clarify where some people are coming to the conclusion that the child is being exposed to the parents "yiffing"? Cause I can't find it anywhere!
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07-04-2011, 04:47 PM | #87 |
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Couldn't agree more with this.
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07-04-2011, 04:52 PM | #88 |
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Just to be clear, no where have I said the child is in any way privy to his dad's sexual proclivities. I spoke from MY POV that no child would be exposed to My sexual kink in My bedroom.
I also don't care what his father or his gf do in their home. However the OP said the kid is being "pushed to accept this" while with his father in public. That is coercion pure and simple. As I've said before, I don't care what the adults do with other consenting adults, but this kid clearly is not a consenting adult. If the kid doesn't want to be around his fathers kink, he surely doesn't have to.
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07-04-2011, 05:03 PM | #89 |
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Snow... I don't compare your parenting to the OP parent at all. I got from reading the OP that the dad is very unconcerned about his son's feelings and has totally disregarded the fact that something is really, REALLY bothering his kid. (And in that scenario there could be many things bugging the kid!) There are so many *if's* about this situation, like where is the MOM? If she is present in his life she should be handling this if it needs to be.
I can't see you disregarding your kid's feelings. I also think we are on all different pages on whether or not the furrie's attire and ID are kink related or not. For some circles it's very normal. Kids brought up around leather folk and introduced to it in a positive way (which most ARE) are one thing, and I SO think it can be done in a very healthy way (Snow is proof), but being introduced to it at 12 would take some patience and tolerance with letting the kid absorb all of it. (If that is what happened) Not taking the kid's feelings into account is unfair in any situation, NOT that the parent has to stop being an adult, just some compassion for being a 12 year old would be nice. |
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07-04-2011, 05:06 PM | #90 |
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Maybe just maybe he isnt being "pushed" maybe just maybe this chile is being taught to learn how to be open minded. His father has a right to expose his child to different lifestyles with open communication at all times. I would hope he would at least because frankly there is NOTHING wrong With a child being taught to accept people regardless of how different or freakish others may see them. We dont really know since Dad is not here to give us his side or explain to us why he is choosing to expose said child to his relarionship choices.
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07-04-2011, 05:09 PM | #91 |
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Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.
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07-04-2011, 05:12 PM | #92 | |
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I gargantee that is getting more sexual esposare vía music, television, & video games than a lock & tail. Justin Beiber per example, Twiglight, Hannah Montana girl, Teen Mom Toddlers & Tiaras.
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07-04-2011, 05:13 PM | #93 |
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a sidebar to the original question
I have an extremely close friend who has one sister who is very religious.
This sister is very loving and generous to her niece and her nephew, but She didn't attend their commitment ceremony and I can easily imagine her saying something like, They shouldn't force those children to accept their life choices. |
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07-04-2011, 05:18 PM | #94 | |
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For the sake of discussion, let's accept the accuracy of the details we were provided. I completely agree with you. This young person should be able to share his feelings with his father and Communication about his needs should matter to his father. |
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07-04-2011, 05:18 PM | #95 |
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I don't know anyone who's a furry, and it doesn't appeal to me personally, but I don't have an issue with it. I also don't think that kids knowing that their parents are sexual beings is a bad thing.
What all of it comes down to, for me, is communication and a basic respect for the child's feelings. To take it out of a sexual/furry/transgendered context... When I was 11 and 12 years old, I played viola in the junior high orchestra. I was first chair. I practiced a lot, and worked hard. Periodically, we gave concerts that parents and the community were invited to. All of the other parents would show up on time, showered, dressed, sit in the seats, applaud....all the "normal" concert behavior. My mother would arrive late...generally in the middle of the performance...not because she couldn't help it/had to work, but because (as she would loudly announce to everyone within hearing range) she had been so caught up "at the barn." That probably didn't need to be explained....because she also smelled like the barn, and was still dressed in riding clothes....and would stomp loudly up the aisle, "pardon me, pardon me, pardon me" into the middle of a row, and then laugh and talk loudly (about herself) through the rest of the performance. I was embarrassed on a regular basis...and used to wish that she either wouldn't come at all, or would simply be "like other people's parents." I got used to hearing the other parents talk about "that woman", but it never became something that I was okay with. About midway through junior high, I told my orchestra teacher that I was quitting. He cared enough to ask why....and I explained to him my regular humiliation. Perhaps I should have been more self-confident...or not cared what other people thought...but I was already the child dressed out of the Salvation Army bin, the one using a school instrument, the one whose family got the charity basket from the PTA on the holidays, the one being teased and bullied. My teacher cared enough to listen...and told me not to quit. He also spoke privately to my mother. I don't know what he said exactly. But I do know that for the rest of the years there, she either showed up on time and behaved herself....or she didn't come to the concert at all. Both things were an improvement for me. I appreciate that he was the adult he was; that he recognized a child's discomfort and had the character to address it, because as a child I could not.
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07-04-2011, 05:19 PM | #96 |
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I'm one of the no one should be forced to do anything that they don't want to do, it comes with that life liberty and the pursuit whole thing. Doesn't mean folks can't be who they are. I don't think this is necessarily about religion. 'Cause I'm not one of the flock as it were.
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07-04-2011, 05:25 PM | #97 |
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Exactly Jo, someone needs to speak to all parents especially the unknowing parent. My ex husband is aware of my choices I don't let him hear it via others or the internets. I hope the child is heard by allll adults involved, I hope the child is taught to be open minded and I hope Mom is made aware ASAP that her man cub is distraught.
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07-04-2011, 05:59 PM | #98 |
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Until and if Okie comes back to give more details all any of us are doing is speculating..reading the OP as "WE" see it. As so many others said...it comes down to communicating with your child. If that is happening with the father and child and the child is still having issues then i would suggest the father make time for just him and the child.
Kids are very resilient AND vey smart at a very young age. Hell the Prince knew something was different with me before we ever discussed it. I remember once going in a store(he was 5 i think),and he was talking to the cashier about something and she asked him why he said something and he pops off with "well thats what my moms girlfriend said. We talked after that. He never had a problem with it--except for a brief 2 minutes in 5th grade bc his friends mom found out i was gay,and suddenly wouldnt let her kid come around..within a week or so he came to me and said "Mom if they dont like u how u r then i dont need them" so as its been said COMMUNICATION with children is key to everything! |
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07-04-2011, 06:31 PM | #99 | |
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Total speculation and opinion on my part
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I'm not even gonna spend much time on the fainting spells, cause, well...I'd probably have just left her laying there and went on about my business. Sounds like drama/attention-getting behavior, but that is normal in some folks whether they are a transgendered furry slave or the lil housewife next door. *shrug* |
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07-04-2011, 08:04 PM | #100 |
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Kinda wish I hadn't read this thread....
Okay, I have an opinion. I think it will be unpopular. Nonetheless, I can tell you right now that there's nothing that could sway me. There is something wrong with this father that he thinks it is okay to include his child publicly in something overtly sexual to those in the know about such things, and something overtly whacked to those others. I'm a closet nudist. But do I walk around in front of Asa and his little friends with next to nothing on. No. Here's why: I respect my child. That guy doesn't respect his child, or he has something else wrong with him along the lines of not knowing what is and isn't respecting a child. p.s. When someone says "at least it's not drunk driving," or whatever, is that an argument that anything short of drunk driving is fine? Because it's like arguing, well, maybe one partner beat the other up but they didn't kill 'em. I don't think we have to be satisfied with stemming only the worst.
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