FTM place to vent and talk

[weatherboi]

I have experienced certain friends viewing me as a traitor. People are gonna either work it out in themselves or not I guess. Mostly my supportive people are here and then I have a few constants that love me no matterwhat. I am lucky when I look at it that way. Gay clubs can be so rough sometimes and can feel very unwelcoming to people that don't don a bar stool night after night. I am sorry ya'll had to deal with that.

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

I'm glad you've got friends who are supportive. Wish I could say same for her and I. Unfortunately we've gotten shitted on quite a bit over the years but it's their issue, not ours.

I still remember our first date. Took her to a local gay club/bar and soon as we walked in the door, you could've heard a pin drop. Also if looks could wither, we'd crumpled to the floor. Lol.

Funny thing is, I've met some butches who were just fine with us until they found out that I was FTM. Then came the stares, the sneers, the eyerolling. Don't even think it's a competition thing at all with them because I'm very content with who I am and also very content with who they are and how they identify. It's literally an issue of being "traitors" because I want to be a man (even though it's not a "want" but something that just is) which is the easier, softer way for them. No matter the fact that it's the harder path for me to take since now I have to deal judgement from society AND the rainbow.

[BrutalDaddy]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

I have experienced certain friends viewing me as a traitor. People are gonna either work it out in themselves or not I guess. Mostly my supportive people are here and then I have a few constants that love me no matterwhat. I am lucky when I look at it that way. Gay clubs can be so rough sometimes and can feel very unwelcoming to people that don't don a bar stool night after night. I am sorry ya'll had to deal with that.

Yea, I've figured out over the years how tough it is going into a gay club as a brand new face. In a sense I can understand the initial mistrust because we do have to be so very careful with who we allow in so as not to get hurt or fucked with. Yet on the flip side of the coin, so many folks just coming out feel like they're twisting in the wind and just want to feel like they belong somewhere.

Thank you for the condolence. It sucks but it's life as well. Again, huge reason I am so glad this site is here for us. Kinda like our own Cheers, where everybody knows our name. Lol.

Just Don't Call Me Norm,
Brute.

[Julien]

I want to address this traitor issue. This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant to out myself with this new group of people (MCC), because I do not know what their response might be. However, I think that it might have to do with me in general and some misconception I may have. I also see the response some of you have gone through, so I know this is out there. It seems that life is tough enough for those of us who are trans than to have be judged by our own LGB community. I would also like to say that I find people on this site more welcoming and accepting of us, which is why I come here.

[DMW]

Julien, i have found that whether someone is gay or straight, how they treat me, really isn't the issue for me. For me it is about being who i am. I understand the fear...but, i try not to let that rule how i live or the choices that i make based on what i need. I read your post and it worries me for you actually. No matter where i am ...(gay or straight world)... i am trans and base my decisions on when and where and to whom i should "out "myself to....dependent on the given situation.

What is the MCC group?

I hope you come back soon because i may have to leave without hearing your answer and then you will have to wait for a reply from me.

Brute, love what you shared.

I gotta check out again. Have a good night all.

[Julien]

Originally Posted by DMW

Julien, i have found that whether someone is gay or straight, how they treat me, really isn't the issue for me. For me it is about being who i am. I understand the fear...but, i try not to let that rule how i live or the choices that i make based on what i need. I read your post and it worries me for you actually. No matter where i am ...(gay or straight world)... i am trans and base my decisions on when and where and to whom i should "out "myself to....dependent on the given situation.

What is the MCC group?

I hope you come back soon because i may have to leave without hearing your answer and then you will have to wait for a reply from me.

Brute, love what you shared.

I gotta check out again. Have a good night all.

Thanks for responding to my post and I appreciate your concern for me. I should have been more clear the MCC is the Metropolitan Community Church, for lack of a better phrase a LGBT church. While I'm not a big church goer I decided to attend to meet people within the community. It has worked, I'm just hesitant with how much I share with people. Let me say I am fine with myself in general aside for being inbetween (as I say). I'm am out to key members of my family and have the full support of them for which I am grateful. Again I appreciate your concern and would be happy to discuss this with you further on another day.

[DMW]

Hey, Julien, my apologies...i didn't get that when i first read your previous thread. I get the idea. I will have to think on it more and then respond later when i have time. You are in a bit of a pinch for sure. Have faith and hang in there. I hope someone new comes along to the group. If not, you have this place...and that is good.

[Hominid]

Julien -

I just wanted to say that the stuff I did run up against was very subtle, and not in a community or group. I guess what I mean is that if you out yourself in the MCC, I am positive you will actually find people who gravitate *towards* you - being genuine almost always brings people closer, if in a safe environment. Yes, others may distance themselves a bit, but I think you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I say, go for it.

Originally Posted by Julien

I want to address this traitor issue. This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant to out myself with this new group of people (MCC), because I do not know what their response might be. However, I think that it might have to do with me in general and some misconception I may have. I also see the response some of you have gone through, so I know this is out there. It seems that life is tough enough for those of us who are trans than to have be judged by our own LGB community. I would also like to say that I find people on this site more welcoming and accepting of us, which is why I come here.