What attracts you to Ftms ......

[Billy]

Originally Posted by softness

the first transman I dated had been bi before his transition and remained bi after his transition.

That's cool

[Random]

Originally Posted by softness

the first transman I dated had been bi before his transition and remained bi after his transition.

Interesting..

The first T-girl (her defn) I dated was gay before she transitioned and became bi after becoming a woman...

[CamBAMF]

Hey everyone,

I actually came to look at this thread to see the responses. I'm a FTM, and WAS pretty convince that only girls who are totally unstable would ever consider dating a trans-man. Since coming out trans, I have had 4 girl friends. 3 of which tried to make me stop transitioning by threatening to leave (even though they knew what I was before we began dating), and 1 who was okay with it but was very unstable herself. I had one hook up who basically said she loved my personality, but she was a lesbian and I was a boy- and she didn't want a boyfriend. It sucked majorly. So I've been single for a year now, and I pretty much gave up on the idea of love, marriage, family, etc.

Anyway, I just want to Thank everyone for there responses. You have no idea what it mean to me personally that this thread even exsists, and that there are people out there who actually care about a person rather then what they call themselves or how thier body looks. Maybe there is hope after all.

[Delish]

Let me start off by saying I did not read any posts prior to the 1st one.

MY attraction to FtM's is that they know who they are!! I have been in relationships where the butch has issues with sexuality and religion and completely forgets who she is. I love the struggle that FtM's have dealt with and is ready to move on with their lives!!! THEY ROCK!!!

[Billy]

Originally Posted by Delish

Let me start off by saying I did not read any posts prior to the 1st one.

MY attraction to FtM's is that they know who they are!! I have been in relationships where the butch has issues with sexuality and religion and completely forgets who she is. I love the struggle that FtM's have dealt with and is ready to move on with their lives!!! THEY ROCK!!!

Thanks for posting

[Jet]

I am FTM (currently in transition). But something tells me it's going to be hard to find someone who would want to date me.

Just a feeling I have...

[pumpndude]

For me, I will always be attracted to women and only women....

[legally_b10nde]

I admire their courage to have commitment to make the transitions. I like the semi-boyish "Bieber" look to clean cut militant look, i.e. Carter the Body. *drools* Scent of musky cologne, and gym rat types with big ole arms and hands~ hehehe

[cali4nyaprincess23]

A FTM yes I'd date ... a MTF no. *but, I'm happily taken so it doesn't even matter for me anymore... My honey is a stone butch, my daddy, my love.. and I couldn't be happier.. And hy is the perfect amount of masculine for me!!

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by cali4nyaprincess23

A FTM yes I'd date ... a MTF no. *but, I'm happily taken so it doesn't even matter for me anymore... My honey is a stone butch, my daddy, my love.. and I couldn't be happier.. And hy is the perfect amount of masculine for me!!

I'm curious about not dating an MtF. Would you date an MtF that was butch identified? If yes, would they need to have had bottom surgery?

I know one or two and they are clearly not men, but are butch women (and proud of it!). Both have had bottom surgery, as well as the best set of tits money can buy.

[GoofyLuvr]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I'm curious about not dating an MtF. Would you date an MtF that was butch identified? If yes, would they need to have had bottom surgery?

I know one or two and they are clearly not men, but are butch women (and proud of it!). Both have had bottom surgery, as well as the best set of tits money can buy.

I wouldn't. If I wanted a butch woman, then I wouldn't be interested in tg now, would I? The physical attributes of a woman does nothing for me, so having the best set of tits money can buy would just be a waste of money in my eyes. LOL There's always been something missing for me when I was with butches, so don't think that an MTF is gonna be any better. Just one of those IMHO kinda things, ya know?But everybody is different, and thank goodness for that!

[Soft*Silver]

I dont think I would date a CIS male again. But I most certainly would date a FtM. I hope this is not offensive to anyone, but I am overjoyed that FtMs have given men back to me. I have said this in the past and I will say it again....I can have incredible sex with CIS men, but the minute they open their mouth to speak, all the glamour and heat goes out the door. It is their socialization at fault. Something is distinctly different in the socialization of the CIS male and the FtM male. Having been put through or surrounded by female socialization efforts, FtMs can reach beneath my skin and touch me where it counts...places CIS men sometimes arent even aware exists. And because I have walked in the hetero world and have been with CIS Men, I dont treat FtMs I date like a real butchy woman. They are men to me. I am not threatened about losing my lesbian license because I am bowling with a FtM.

I also need to point out that this whole thought of "if I think this way, then I cant think that way" is a really bad teeter totter to be on. The wonderful thing about my opinions is that I dont limit them to a certain number of considerations. Its not just men and women, butch or femme, FtM or MtF, transgender or queer....I can literally see and dream and envision an incredible bouquet of possibilities. Especially in regard to me. I am not a straight girl. I am not just a lesbian. These two dont make me a bisexual because it insists on a binary system. And I am sorry, I have had much more than these two choices...I have had incredible dates and relationships with people who didnt fit the "standard"....

and thats how primal we go, sometimes, when we try to accessorize our orientations and genders with labels. Like we are discussing the breed standard...well, FtMs are like this and CIS males are like that and poodles are to be clipped to show off this trait and bulldogs are to be presented this way so the judge...yada yada yada...

I love me my FtMs. Not cuz they are girls or queers. But because they are men. Men who dont make me want to pay the check and leave the restaurant alone.....

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by softness

I can have incredible sex with CIS men, but the minute they open their mouth to speak, all the glamour and heat goes out the door. It is their socialization at fault. Something is distinctly different in the socialization of the CIS male and the FtM male. Having been put through or surrounded by female socialization efforts, FtMs can reach beneath my skin and touch me where it counts...places CIS men sometimes arent even aware exists.

i realized my earlier participation in this thread was something of a derail and i never actually answer the question that was asked...so my answer is- softness stole my answer lol

i have always been attracted to masculine energy but numb to the attractions of cismales

i came out when i was 19, but attempted to go straight very briefly when i was 23...omg that poor guy...i could not stand for him to behave in any way that was overtly masculine...which i found totally perplexing, b/c with a butch partner i would have found the exact same behaviors totally hot

it has never been possible for a butch to be masculine enough for me, but i can't stand for cismales to be masculine AT ALL

therfore FTMs are pretty much a dream come true lol

Originally Posted by softness

I also need to point out that this whole thought of "if I think this way, then I cant think that way" is a really bad teeter totter to be on.

i know but my brain only thinks in dichotomies...professionals are involved

[Stormys500LMTD]

Looks would be a big one for me, how they handle themselves, how they would treat me as a Lesbian.

[dark_crystal]

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

[Liam]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

I'm not sure I understand the question, but if you are asking, if seeing an FTM as female, makes you ineligible as a partner, I would respond yes, it does for me. I'm not interested in being vulnerable with anyone that sees me as female.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by Liam

I'm not sure I understand the question, but if you are asking, if seeing an FTM as female, makes you ineligible as a partner, I would respond yes, it does for me. I'm not interested in being vulnerable with anyone that sees me as female.

i personally don't think that i see an ftm as female...personally i think i see ftms as the only exceptions to my default prefernce for butches.

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female

so the question is whether transmen think that a girl who will date a transguy but will not date a cisguy or a transwoman therfore does NOT see a transguy as male

[Nina]

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female


I may need to read the whole thread, at the moment I am not in a space to do that...I don't understand the above statement...I wonder by whom you have been 'informed' these things?...are there some people who have the Last Say in what's what?

what I am saying is: if a transman ids as a man/male/non-female and someone thinks to themselves, 'he's not really a (real) man so it's okay for me to date him'...there is/are some big problem(s) going on...seems to me, it would be best to stand down and find someone who's id you can respect and are attracted to, and date them...

nina

[Liam]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i personally don't think that i see an ftm as female...personally i think i see ftms as the only exceptions to my default prefernce for butches.

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female

so the question is whether transmen think that a girl who will date a transguy but will not date a cisguy or a transwoman therfore does NOT see a transguy as male

So you don't see an ftm as female, well then you would be eligible, for me. I would suggest you ignore the "logic," being presented to you as something you MUST think.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

No, I guess not.