What attracts you to Ftms ......

[dark_crystal]

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

[Liam]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

I'm not sure I understand the question, but if you are asking, if seeing an FTM as female, makes you ineligible as a partner, I would respond yes, it does for me. I'm not interested in being vulnerable with anyone that sees me as female.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by Liam

I'm not sure I understand the question, but if you are asking, if seeing an FTM as female, makes you ineligible as a partner, I would respond yes, it does for me. I'm not interested in being vulnerable with anyone that sees me as female.

i personally don't think that i see an ftm as female...personally i think i see ftms as the only exceptions to my default prefernce for butches.

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female

so the question is whether transmen think that a girl who will date a transguy but will not date a cisguy or a transwoman therfore does NOT see a transguy as male

[Nina]

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female


I may need to read the whole thread, at the moment I am not in a space to do that...I don't understand the above statement...I wonder by whom you have been 'informed' these things?...are there some people who have the Last Say in what's what?

what I am saying is: if a transman ids as a man/male/non-female and someone thinks to themselves, 'he's not really a (real) man so it's okay for me to date him'...there is/are some big problem(s) going on...seems to me, it would be best to stand down and find someone who's id you can respect and are attracted to, and date them...

nina

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by Neen

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female


I may need to read the whole thread, at the moment I am not in a space to do that...I don't understand the above statement...I wonder by whom you have been 'informed' these things?...are there some people who have the Last Say in what's what?

what I am saying is: if a transman ids as a man/male/non-female and someone thinks to themselves, 'he's not really a (real) man so it's okay for me to date him'...there is/are some big problem(s) going on...seems to me, it would be best to stand down and find someone who's id you can respect and are attracted to, and date them...

nina

i don't think "'he's not really a (real) man so it's okay for me to date him"

however my (very insecure) trans ex jumped my sh!t a couple of times when he he asked me if i was attracted to so-and-so and i said "no, b/c he's a cisguy"

and from the two responses i have gotten, i am hearing that many others agree with him- the fact that i am attracted to transguys but not cisguys means that i don't see transguys as guys

this is not what i think, but it was what my ex thought and seems to be what Neen and Liam are telling me

[Liam]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i personally don't think that i see an ftm as female...personally i think i see ftms as the only exceptions to my default prefernce for butches.

however i have been informed that the fact that i WILL date ftms but will not date cismen or butch-identified mtfs means that i MUST see ftms as female

so the question is whether transmen think that a girl who will date a transguy but will not date a cisguy or a transwoman therfore does NOT see a transguy as male

So you don't see an ftm as female, well then you would be eligible, for me. I would suggest you ignore the "logic," being presented to you as something you MUST think.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

Well I am partnered with a transman and I would not date a cissexual man. I'm queer. I'm confused by this line of thinking and how I might be considered transphobic or "icky". I honor and respect my partner's gender. My not wanting to date cissexual men has nothing to do with my partner's gender. It has to do with my sexuality, which is queer.

Originally Posted by Liam

So you don't see an ftm as female, well then you would be eligible, for me. I would suggest you ignore the "logic," being presented to you as something you MUST think.

thank you i feel reassured now lol...i definitely don't think of ftms as female but i have never had a good response to that particular accusation...cuz...the way i feel is the way i feel, regardless of whether it makes logical sense.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

No, I guess not.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by Jet

No, I guess not.

you guess i'm not ineligible? (and i see how my asking THAT is a testament to how convoluted the original question was...i seem to be very good at those)

[julieisafemme]

Well I am partnered with a transman and I would not date a cissexual man. I'm queer. I'm confused by this line of thinking and how I might be considered transphobic or "icky". I honor and respect my partner's gender. My not wanting to date cissexual men has nothing to do with my partner's gender. It has to do with my sexuality, which is queer.

[paposeco]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

I get what your saying, it took a couple of readings, but I get it. Not here to judge you one way or the other. You have the right to like/love/desire whomever and however. Cool.
I know who I am, and don't need nor require anothere's opinion or perception of who I am or am not. People are always sooo preocupied about shovin' other people in little boxes, as if that would make the world or their lives a more logical place. Love and let Love be what Love is. (this label thing is wayyyy over rated)

[Billy]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

i am very attracted to ftms, but i suspect that i am not the kind of partner most ftms would want...

i would never date a cisguy
i would never date a butch-identified mtf

my desire just does not get "pinged" by either of those- i am not going to explain or defend that any further than "pinged"...we can argue all day about what i should feel and why, but i have yet to succeed in deciding to feel or unfeel anything, so the best-reasoned and most persuasive argument in the world will get us exactly nowhere

therefore, despite being veryveryvery attracted to transguys, it seems obvious that i am attracted to the trans-energy and not the guy-energy

or if you want to be really dichotomous about it you could say i must not truly see transmen as men, because if i did i wouldn't be attracted to them, or that the fact that i will date anywhere on the butch-to-stone butch-to trans spectrum means that i am including transguys under the female umbrella

at least one fo the transguys i've dated has found that offensive

it is a sad situation, because i do think transguys are totally hot as their own category and as the partner of a trans person i cannot conceive of trying to impose my will on whether and how a transguy might choose to transition

i would like to hear from transguys- does seeing you like this make me ineligible as a partner?

Wow ..lol I think ya got Me on this one ....And you may put Me under any umbrella you like , cause I am known to wear a boa every now and then .But why female

[GoofyLuvr]

I don't get it. Why can't it just be accepted that some of us are only attracted to ftm/transguys? Lesbians have argued for years that their feelings are not a decision that they make, it just is. Why is it so hard to accept that there are those of us who "just are" attracted to transguys. Maybe transguys have a certain pheromone that is different, who the hell knows. I think the fact that this is so dissected all the time is a really sad statement, though, of how judgemental people can still be, even when they think they aren't. Live and let live. Love and let love. Who cares who is attracted to whom, for God's sake, as long as everyone is happy with where they are. I really hope we can get back to the postive thread this started out to be, what attracts us to FTM's, cos there sure is a lot of attraction for me!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

shoes. it's the shoes.

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i like nice hands too.
a good manicure.
or rough hard working calloused hands.
of course, i prefer them still attached and not in a jar.
i'm picky like that.

oh. and concert t shirts.
i cannot date anyone that doesn't have some amazing concert t's.

And they must part their hair on the left. But only on Bastille Day.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Gemme

And they must part their hair on the left. But only on Bastille Day.

whew, too tough. and a hard act to follow.

[Stacy]

I love every damn thing about my FTM Transsexual husband! (I need that on a t-shirt!)

[imperfect_cupcake]

I've thought about this and thought about the FTQ/FTM that I've dated/screwed around with to see if there was anything unifying about them that may be different than anyone else I've dated.

The only thing that seems to stand out is the ones I've dated/fucked about with were very bender-ish. In that, they were *totally* comfortable in queering their masculinity and coming up with their own masculine gender now that body matched their head a bit more. Thus we could get up to some seriously fun (for me me me and them them them) queering/bender-sex role play.

The butches I tended to date at this time were a little more uncomfortable with that kind of mind gender-fuck. I'm sure tons were able to, I just had no access to any as at the time no one was admitting to any of it, thus I couldn't ask any out. I did discover that once my partners were comfortable with who I was and that they trusted I respected them, they got more willing and curious and able.

I think, at the time and place, the FTQ/M I had access to were just there a bit faster.

That's really the only difference I can think of.

BI (before Inki) in london, I did turn down a couple of straight FtM dates as I didn't really see that jiving. They didn't see themselves as heteroqueer or queer in anyway. So I said no. I don't date straight blokes. TBH, I didn't (and don't) really know very many straight FtMs. Most that I know ID as queer or heteroqueer (and half of those aren't queer in sexuality - they don't have sex with other men of any origin, they just feel their journey aligns them with a queer philosophy and outlook and bendy sex games lol)

but as for why those FtQ/M were attractive? Nothing about them being FtM. They displayed characteristics I find hot in anyone - cheeky, funny, thoughtful, non-rigid, able to take the piss, treat me like a human rather than "a girl", cocky (in the good way: see cheeky) and self confident.

Actually that's not entirely true - there are certain aspects in femmes I find attractive and hot that I don't find attractive in butches or FtQ/Ms. And vice versa. hmn. Have to think about that.

[SelfMadeMan]

Originally Posted by Deviant

I love every damn thing about my FTM Transsexual husband! (I need that on a t-shirt!)

I love you! Thank you for your support baby.