Healthy Weight Loss

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I'm back at it.

I had lost a total of 153 pounds over the last few years with diet and exercise (and some unhealthy bulimia that is now in check) but have had some ENORMOUS life changes in the last 18 months.

I looked up one day and I had gained back 37 pounds and did that whole, "Oh, HEYALLLLL NAH" thing and started back with monitoring my calories and trying to get more exercise. My gain was mostly due to being off-plan, not exercising as much, indulging a LOT, and dealing with some of my grief and joy with old coping mechanisms of binging.

I have lost 22 of the 37 pounds I gained and have my eye on losing another 20 pounds as my first short-term goal. That goal actually puts me 5 pounds below my initial lowest weight but my plan was always to lose another 50 slowly and methodically.

I'll do it! It will be slow work but I'll do it by cutting back on my calories and getting back to yoga and walking and I SUPER look forward to getting my curvy self into a very cute dress I've been saving

You got this, and you look amazing and happy.

Bulimia is the devil. i still fight the urge. (((( You )))))

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

You got this, and you look amazing and happy.

Bulimia is the devil. i still fight the urge. (((( You )))))

Goddess, is it ever.

It took a while for me to acknowledge that I was bulimic. Acknowledging that I was a binge-eater was super easy; it felt powerful to me. But saying out loud "I might be bulimic" was not something I could do for a very long time.

I had always thought of bulimia as a strict definition of "people who throw up" and I was not a person who threw up but my therapist helped me understand that purging the calories through excessive exercise was also bulimic. So there I was, exercising 3 - 5 hours a day so I could justify eating a cheeseburger and losing a LOT of weight in a short time when I had the lightbulb moment of "Oh, maybe this isn't the best course of action."

So now it's about balance. I do walk a little extra when I eat a large meal and try to counterbalance the times I am going to eat outside of my plan with extra activity or a lighter dinner but I don't obsess over it much. I don't set my treadmill for 750 calories and run until it zeroes out like I used to. I don't march in place until my legs are numb much anymore.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I do the math in my head and think "I'm going to need to hit the elliptical for 2.5 hours if I eat this steak". Sometimes I win that mental battle and sometimes I don't.

I've maintained most of my 150+ pound weight loss for over 3 years now and I'm really proud of that but really, I am even more proud of learning to control my bulimic tendencies and maintain my weight how I imagine a "normal" person would.

Small victories, eh?

[Esme nha Maire]

Wow, Great Goddess, Medusa, I am in awe of your ability to dedicate to exercise! I still have my size 14 little red dress, as a memento... reading what you've said gives me a smidge of hope that i might just be able yo get back into it one day!

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Goddess, is it ever.

It took a while for me to acknowledge that I was bulimic. Acknowledging that I was a binge-eater was super easy; it felt powerful to me. But saying out loud "I might be bulimic" was not something I could do for a very long time.

I had always thought of bulimia as a strict definition of "people who throw up" and I was not a person who threw up but my therapist helped me understand that purging the calories through excessive exercise was also bulimic. So there I was, exercising 3 - 5 hours a day so I could justify eating a cheeseburger and losing a LOT of weight in a short time when I had the lightbulb moment of "Oh, maybe this isn't the best course of action."

So now it's about balance. I do walk a little extra when I eat a large meal and try to counterbalance the times I am going to eat outside of my plan with extra activity or a lighter dinner but I don't obsess over it much. I don't set my treadmill for 750 calories and run until it zeroes out like I used to. I don't march in place until my legs are numb much anymore.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I do the math in my head and think "I'm going to need to hit the elliptical for 2.5 hours if I eat this steak". Sometimes I win that mental battle and sometimes I don't.

I've maintained most of my 150+ pound weight loss for over 3 years now and I'm really proud of that but really, I am even more proud of learning to control my bulimic tendencies and maintain my weight how I imagine a "normal" person would.

Small victories, eh?

Balance. thats the key. i am struggling to find it. i am all or nothing.

My pattern has always been to binge on a carb complete diet, gain about 20 pounds then have fun punishing myself to lose it. Thats the old days.

i've avoided this thread because its just a crappy week. So to make myself feel better i resort to old habits. Or want to.

anyway thats some of my *stuff*....

i want to get to a healthy place mentally when it comes to food, but right now i am not there.

[Mopsie]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Balance. thats the key. i am struggling to find it. i am all or nothing.

My pattern has always been to binge on a carb complete diet, gain about 20 pounds then have fun punishing myself to lose it. Thats the old days.

i've avoided this thread because its just a crappy week. So to make myself feel better i resort to old habits. Or want to.

anyway thats some of my *stuff*....

i want to get to a healthy place mentally when it comes to food, but right now i am not there.

dee - I wanted to say you are not alone and thanks for sharing. I've had a bad week too - in fact was binging today. Trying to love myself despite the feelings of shame is difficult. I try to give myself a clean slate each day and forgive myself but it's hard. Sending you loving thoughts.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Mopsie

dee - I wanted to say you are not alone and thanks for sharing. I've had a bad week too - in fact was binging today. Trying to love myself despite the feelings of shame is difficult. I try to give myself a clean slate each day and forgive myself but it's hard. Sending you loving thoughts.

and you too.... thank you Mopsie