Learning To Live Half-Alive?

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Didn't know where else to turn, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes here by starting a new thread, but... I'm broken.

Today, my ex told me she's moving away with her new girlfriend. Leaving the state. With this girl she's only known for a month and a half.

I broke down crying, and she kept asking me to come see her, saying she didn't want to leave like this... but I told her it hurt too much. She said goodbye on the phone, and said she loved me.

As I type this, my heart feels like it's slowly ripping itself apart.

Just two months ago, she was making love to me telling me I was beautiful... now she's running away with some new girl?

Not going to tell the whole story, but the important factors are that she and I have been falling in love with each other for five years, and we both admitted we were madly in love with each other, but because she's an alcoholic... it can't work until we fix our lives.

Suddenly, there's this new girlfriend, and she says this girl is everything and she'd die without her, etc. etc. She's also cutting herself again for the first time in years.

Now she's leaving me... it doesn't make sense. It really doesn't.

I can't be without her... she is my love. She means more to me than anyone ever has.... for her, my heart </3