Learning To Live Half-Alive?

Soft*Silver · 02-05-2011, 08:23 PM

yeah..she is going to hold you hostage. We do that, us alcoholics. We need to hold onto you just in case what we left you for doesnt work out. We always have to have a way back in...

you really want this? I can sit here and be your interpreter all night long. I speak Sick real good. .... Its my native language...

Quote:

Originally Posted by proximitywithoutintimacy

Everyone has asked her to leave me alone... she won't give up. It's like, she loves me, but doesn't want to be with me, so tries to hold on... but this time I'm not letting her. I need to grieve and move on, and I can't do it unless she disappears from my life for awhile.

adorable · 02-05-2011, 08:57 PM

I have been there. Everyone has...the advice you have gotten so far is good. Being in love with who you thought the person was is far different then being in love with the actual person sometimes.

I was in love with who I thought my ex was. Who she actually was a person who could cheat, lie, break my shit and cause immense amounts of pain to get what she wanted.

Now, as she was doing all these things (after we had been together for 8 years) I was a MESS and in my fog of trying to rationalize what had suddenly become of my life I would make excuses for her. All kinds. She does have a serious mental illness which she chose not to treat. I justified her behavior for a long time. I cried. I had hysterical fits of anger and frustration. And I stayed IN it. I actually held out until SHE walked out the door. It took another two years for me to stop all contact with her.

I told myself all kinds of stuff to justify staying with her. She didn't mean it. It wouldn't happen again. She really loved me she just didn't know how. blah, blah, fucking blah....The truth was - she was an asshole. When you love someone you ACT like it. It's a verb. One person can't sustain a relationship for two people.

The emotional, financial and mental upheaval that I've gone through over her I could have avoided if I had cut off the contact WAY WAY WAY earlier. I didn't. I paid the price. It wasn't necessary.

I am 10,000 times happier without her in my life. I moved on. FINALLY. My life is better, because I actually have one that doesn't revolve around her bullshit drama. I have love now. Things are calm and make sense in a way that they never could with her. My current relationship is easy and LOVING.

Two things that I held on to from all the advice I got "Never make someone a priority that you are just an option to." and "The problem with liars is you never know when they're telling the truth."

02-05-2011, 08:57 PM	#2
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,644 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	I have been there. Everyone has...the advice you have gotten so far is good. Being in love with who you thought the person was is far different then being in love with the actual person sometimes. I was in love with who I thought my ex was. Who she actually was a person who could cheat, lie, break my shit and cause immense amounts of pain to get what she wanted. Now, as she was doing all these things (after we had been together for 8 years) I was a MESS and in my fog of trying to rationalize what had suddenly become of my life I would make excuses for her. All kinds. She does have a serious mental illness which she chose not to treat. I justified her behavior for a long time. I cried. I had hysterical fits of anger and frustration. And I stayed IN it. I actually held out until SHE walked out the door. It took another two years for me to stop all contact with her. I told myself all kinds of stuff to justify staying with her. She didn't mean it. It wouldn't happen again. She really loved me she just didn't know how. blah, blah, fucking blah....The truth was - she was an asshole. When you love someone you ACT like it. It's a verb. One person can't sustain a relationship for two people. The emotional, financial and mental upheaval that I've gone through over her I could have avoided if I had cut off the contact WAY WAY WAY earlier. I didn't. I paid the price. It wasn't necessary. I am 10,000 times happier without her in my life. I moved on. FINALLY. My life is better, because I actually have one that doesn't revolve around her bullshit drama. I have love now. Things are calm and make sense in a way that they never could with her. My current relationship is easy and LOVING. Two things that I held on to from all the advice I got "Never make someone a priority that you are just an option to." and "The problem with liars is you never know when they're telling the truth."