Preferences changing during transition

Esme nha Maire · 03-26-2018, 12:28 PM

Hi Dapper!

It's the low level of genital dysphoria that you report that surprised me, Dapper, rather than the low level of desire for surgery. Knowing how chancy FTM genital reassignment surgery was, I wasn't surprised that some or even many might choose not to undergo it despite bodily dysphoria - but I was, until quite recently, assuming that FTMs had genital dysphoria just as strongly as MTF's do. Not surprised that FTMs get strong dysphoria about their breasts.

I frankly didnt give a monkeys what society's views were on genitalia or breasts as epitomising one gender or the other - I simply knew that my body was equipped with the wrong bits, and it needed to be equipped with the right bits to bring me inner peace. And reassignment surgery below plus breast development up top DID bring me inner peace. My body felt right, my brain is wired for this body, not the one I had.

Yes, certainly on the MTF side, it was expected that bodily dysphoria would be present, that the patient would at least want to have reassignment surgery. Whether or not they could might be another matter, depending on medical situation, like obesity, heart problems etc, but if there were no medical problems preventing, it was epxected that the individual would be wanting to go through surgery yes.

I do not understand your reference to insurance - that's actually something that I have been meaning to ask you privately for a while. Insurance had nothing to do with it. Gender reassignment treatment here is free on the NHS. That's it. I don't even understand where insurance could come into the picture (caveat - this hits an area in which I am, to this day, unworldly, so if it involves insurance and isn't utterly straightforward, I might not understand).

With regard to sexuality, it did seem to be expected that us MTF's would have at least some desire for guys, yes. I told the truth, which in the first instance was that I had had crushes on people of both genders, but that my libido had gone quiescent, and I really wasn't too worried about that until after I'd had surgery - I'd work things out in the end. Perfectly true at teh time. This did not seem to cause any concern.

I do know that a significant minority of MTFs deliberately told psychiatrists exactly what they believed the psychiatrist wanted to hear, irrespective of the truth, simply to try to ensure that they obtained surgery. I did not realise this for some while. I really do not know what I might have done had I been aware that I was lesbian at the time - but if any lying had been involved, it would have been as minimal as possible. I never lied about my interests, which I know a lot of the others did, to try to appear socially more femme. I didn't see the point - one wouldn't have to try very hard to spot the lie.

I ran into problems with a rogue psychiatrist before I realised I was lesbian, and the psychiatrist who oversaw my case later didn't see any problem with my being lesbian. He was only concerned that I had been living as a woman for several years, had held down jobs, changed jobs etc as a woman.

03-26-2018, 12:28 PM	#16
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,088 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310768	Hi Dapper! It's the low level of genital dysphoria that you report that surprised me, Dapper, rather than the low level of desire for surgery. Knowing how chancy FTM genital reassignment surgery was, I wasn't surprised that some or even many might choose not to undergo it despite bodily dysphoria - but I was, until quite recently, assuming that FTMs had genital dysphoria just as strongly as MTF's do. Not surprised that FTMs get strong dysphoria about their breasts. I frankly didnt give a monkeys what society's views were on genitalia or breasts as epitomising one gender or the other - I simply knew that my body was equipped with the wrong bits, and it needed to be equipped with the right bits to bring me inner peace. And reassignment surgery below plus breast development up top DID bring me inner peace. My body felt right, my brain is wired for this body, not the one I had. Yes, certainly on the MTF side, it was expected that bodily dysphoria would be present, that the patient would at least want to have reassignment surgery. Whether or not they could might be another matter, depending on medical situation, like obesity, heart problems etc, but if there were no medical problems preventing, it was epxected that the individual would be wanting to go through surgery yes. I do not understand your reference to insurance - that's actually something that I have been meaning to ask you privately for a while. Insurance had nothing to do with it. Gender reassignment treatment here is free on the NHS. That's it. I don't even understand where insurance could come into the picture (caveat - this hits an area in which I am, to this day, unworldly, so if it involves insurance and isn't utterly straightforward, I might not understand). With regard to sexuality, it did seem to be expected that us MTF's would have at least some desire for guys, yes. I told the truth, which in the first instance was that I had had crushes on people of both genders, but that my libido had gone quiescent, and I really wasn't too worried about that until after I'd had surgery - I'd work things out in the end. Perfectly true at teh time. This did not seem to cause any concern. I do know that a significant minority of MTFs deliberately told psychiatrists exactly what they believed the psychiatrist wanted to hear, irrespective of the truth, simply to try to ensure that they obtained surgery. I did not realise this for some while. I really do not know what I might have done had I been aware that I was lesbian at the time - but if any lying had been involved, it would have been as minimal as possible. I never lied about my interests, which I know a lot of the others did, to try to appear socially more femme. I didn't see the point - one wouldn't have to try very hard to spot the lie. I ran into problems with a rogue psychiatrist before I realised I was lesbian, and the psychiatrist who oversaw my case later didn't see any problem with my being lesbian. He was only concerned that I had been living as a woman for several years, had held down jobs, changed jobs etc as a woman.