Forgiveness

[julieisafemme]

Originally Posted by Isadora

As I worked for many years in the field, I have helped others forgive and feel healed. I have also worked with those who can not forgive and know that they felt heard and healed in their own way.

The greatest thing about being human is that we are all so unique in our ability to heal ourselves. I am not victim. I am a survivor and I feel a wee bit shamed...that for not being a forgiving some things, I am less...this is always the vulnerable part of admitting what you can't or won't do. I do not normally believe in "eye for eye" because, fuck I would be blind. lol I certainly did not mean to come across that way. But saying this I also believe that if a man and his five buddies are fucking his 4 year old daughter it is unforgivable and imagining him in prison is a wee bit of eye for eye. 30 some years of working with incest and childhood abuse survivors has colored my perspective of forgiving. Yay for those who can, yay for those who use their hurt and anger to be better people, yay for those who just get through one day after another without nightmares.

I don't feel you are less. If that matters. I have similar feelings about things in my life. I don't feel I am bitter or carrying any bad emotions. I see forgiveness more for those I love. If someone is not important to me then I don't see the need to forgive them. It sort of makes the act they are guilty of more important than it should be. And apologies are hollow in some situations. I got the apology I thought I wanted and it left me cold inside. Nothing healed. What healed me was relinquishing the gulit I felt for having been chosen by the man who hurt me. It was more about forgiving myself.