BBW ??? - Qualifications

[Scrappy L'il Southpaw]

I didn't place this in the BBW Lovers thread. That thread is filled with love, appreciation, and beauty and in no way did I want to potentially taint it with questions and confusion.

I keep hearing and reading the terms thick and BBW here and other sites.

Are they interchangable? Is it a matter of personal preference how a woman identifies? I've seen some women writing in a BBW section and they have a pic and it is not someone that I would have considered BBW. I'm no size 6 nor do I want to be. I'm not HWP. I'd say I fall under the category of full figured, possibly even thick (I don't have the ass that most women I've seen who call themselves thick so don't go looking for it. Sadly, it's not there.)

When do you reach the realm of BBW or is it as much an attitude as anything physical?

I don't want to misrepresent myself. I would be thrown for a loop if I met someone and they said "I didn't realize you were a BBW." Ok, they either have no filter or are 100% jerk if that was a first date statement. But, again, I don't want to misrepresent myself either.

If it's my call, ok. If I'm missing something, please educate me.

Remember, there is no judgement or criticism here.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Scrappy L'il Southpaw

I didn't place this in the BBW Lovers thread. That thread is filled with love, appreciation, and beauty and in no way did I want to potentially taint it with questions and confusion.

I keep hearing and reading the terms thick and BBW here and other sites.

Are they interchangeable? Is it a matter of personal preference how a woman identifies? I've seen some women writing in a BBW section and they have a pic and it is not someone that I would have considered BBW. I'm no size 6 nor do I want to be. I'm not HWP. I'd say I fall under the category of full figured, possibly even thick (I don't have the ass that most women I've seen who call themselves thick so don't go looking for it. Sadly, it's not there.)

When do you reach the realm of BBW or is it as much an attitude as anything physical?

I don't want to misrepresent myself. I would be thrown for a loop if I met someone and they said "I didn't realize you were a BBW." Ok, they either have no filter or are 100% jerk if that was a first date statement. But, again, I don't want to misrepresent myself either.

If it's my call, ok. If I'm missing something, please educate me.

Remember, there is no judgment or criticism here.

It is a difficult and confusing question, I agree.

I never know what to say about myself either. I usually try to err on the side of making myself sound larger than I am. If I am going to meet someone I tell them I am a big woman. I don't usually post in BBW, and I'm not sure why. I like to think of myself as me, I guess.

Yes, I am big and beautiful and a woman...but BBW as a title? I actually feel more comfortable with cute, sexy and fat. lol

Prob no help here, but just know you are not alone in wondering how to describe yourself.

[lettertodaddy]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Yes, I am big and beautiful and a woman...but BBW as a title? I actually feel more comfortable with cute, sexy and fat.

Same here. I'm fat, and I'm OK with that.

As for what the qualifications are - if you feel you are a BBW, then you probably are.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I don't know, either. I'm fat, but apparently not fat enough for the local "fat positive" community. I suppose I would describe myself as thick, if I had to pick a word. I don't post in BBW threads or communities, either. When I was single, that was mostly because I wasn't looking to be fetishized, which was at the time my perception of what went on in those spaces. Now I stay away from those threads because I'm not looking to meet anyone who should care how I look.

[ScandalAndy]

My understanding of it is that anyone who falls outside standard manufacturer sizing is a BBW. American Apparel's plus size models are 12-14. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to call someone in those sizes "big".

I don't consider anyone under a size 18 to be a bbw, but I'm probably just wearing my judgy pants. Great thread, as now I'm forced to think about why I'm being like that. Thanks for posting!

[Delish]

I agree with Apocalipstic...I'm just me! I am a BBW in all sense of the words, but for some reason I just don't like that term.
I've recently had Lapband surgery but not because I want to be a bag of bones. I'm very happy with the way I am, and althOugh I'm loosing weight, it has no reflection on me being comfortable with my size.
I say life is too short! Enjoy it while u can and embrace who u are..not your size or "status"
Just my $.02

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

I don't know, either. I'm fat, but apparently not fat enough for the local "fat positive" community. I suppose I would describe myself as thick, if I had to pick a word. I don't post in BBW threads or communities, either. When I was single, that was mostly because I wasn't looking to be fetishized, which was at the time my perception of what went on in those spaces. Now I stay away from those threads because I'm not looking to meet anyone who should care how I look.

I think (well, I guess I know from personal experience with the fat positive communities I've been in/around) that just as much body policing goes on there as what goes on outside of those circles. People will deny it if you say it out loud, but there's a pretty narrow region of fat that is acceptable to a lot of people (not all, pull yourselves together) within fat positive circles. Size 18, 20, 22, maybe 24? But below that (And while I do get that a size 16 doesn't have to deal with the same DEGREE of bullshit that a size 24 does - don't anybody try to tell me that the size 16 girl on the bus doesn't understand what the world looks/feels like for a fat girl) you're not "legit" as a fat girl. And above that the celebration often stops. Don't deny it, people.

I do also think that different groups mean different things when they say BBW. Those guys on craigslist? They're probably talking about sizes 14, 16, 18, and MAYBE 20.

[LaneyDoll]

I am actually more confident as a BBW than I was when I was thin. I am not sure if I just grew up and matured or overcame my shyness etc. But I feel that people are not as able to get to me.

I know that people probably make mean comments about my size but I also know that I get plenty of positive compliments too. People are always telling me that my eyes are pretty, my voice is soothing/sexy, my feet are cute (yes that really happens) etc.

I think that (for me anyway) the confidence I show outshines the "big" aspect of my BBW self.

I have literally shown up for my first time at a BDSM club and been greeted with "So, you're the infamous LaneyDoll." I raise thousands of dollars for local clubs and non-profits-and I do it all without being model-thin. Trust me, in this economy it is not easy to convince people to part with money after they just paid entrance fees.

I have the motto that if you (in the general sense) do not like me only because of my size then it is your loss. I have plenty of friends who can take your place and plenty of potential friends who are willing to.

[LipstickLola]

I've been called BBW, I guess if I must have a label this is it, but I'll say one thing.....So?? "go big or go home!!"
L

[Scrappy L'il Southpaw]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

... I prefer the term "dangerously curvy."

I love that... dangerously curvy! Cheers to a fab term!!!

Originally Posted by suebee

When I was cyber-dating I described myself as a BBW, and my brother (of all people lol) told me that I didn't fit in that category. ...

Personally I consider myself to be fluffy.

I have a friend who also says she is fluffy. You definitely captured part of my point. Your brother telling you, you don't fit that category... We are labelled and classified in all areas of our life. It's nice to have a positive term to help with describing yourself but when it means different things to different people, including yourself, it's not as useful.

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

In my defense, I did say that I was probably wearing my judgy pants and needed to examine that. In my personal experience I can find lots of clothes in your size, but I'm probably looking in different places.

Nobody has told you that you "don't qualify here", I was solely stating how I felt about it at the time. I still got nasty comments as a 12/14 when I was 15 years old, so I'm not really interested in excluding anyone. Mean words hurt no matter what size you are. If you feel like a BBW then by all means please claim it. We need all the support and visibility we can get.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

And there you have it. As a size 16, I'm plenty fat enough to have a hard time finding clothes (most regular stores don't carry my size, and neither do most plus size stores), more than fat enough to have complete strangers make nasty comments to be about my weight, definitely fat enough to have doctors dismiss just about every physical problem I have as weight related and tell me to lose weight instead of actually treating me, but not fat enough to qualify here.

SecretAgent (now the song is stuck in my head) - no one is telling you who or what you are. When I started the thread, I asked people's opinions and they are very graciously sharing them. After reading and re-reading, I do not believe them to be directed at you. You do seem to have a similar inquiry to my own as to what makes a BBW. I have also wondered if it is simply a self classification because for some it seems to be.

I find myself to be a 'tweener when it comes to clothes. Plus sizes are out and the regular stuff does not fit quite right. I had a friend who was heavy into fashion. Her recommendation was when I find something that fits and complements me, continue to shop amongst that same BRAND or manufacturer. Their cuts and styles seem to stay similar and creates greater success when buying clothes. I've had a lot of success with Cato's if you have any of those stores in your area. Macy's too but they can be pricey unless they're having a good sale. (All this fashion talk, I think we lost the bois!)

Any stranger that is going to make nasty comments to you or loudly enough for you to hear about your weight is a person living a very sad and bitter life and is only finding pieces of pleasure or release by being cruel to someone else. Chick, square your shoulders, stare them down, and dare them to keep it up. It will quickly stop when they can't pull you down with their nastiness. My heart goes out to you that you have had to experience that.
As for doctors, shop around until you find one you are comfortable with. Healthcare is too intimate, expensive, and important to stay with a doc that you don't think believes you or believes in you. If the doc is SO insistent about your weight, what can he or she do to help you? What resources can the doc's office provide? Ask the questions and talk to them. They are doctors, humans, and not omnipotent, omniscient higher beings.

Chin up and call yourself what you believe or want yourself to be.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Amazingly enough, I'm actually a grown woman and don't need lectures about how to shop for clothes or find a doctor. I've been doing all those things since I was 12 years old. I'm also entirely aware that bullies aren't my friends.

I'm also aware that the previous comments weren't directed at me. They still applied to me, and were still hurtful.

[Scrappy L'il Southpaw]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

Amazingly enough, I'm actually a grown woman and don't need lectures about how to shop for clothes or find a doctor. I've been doing all those things since I was 12 years old. I'm also entirely aware that bullies aren't my friends.

I'm also aware that the previous comments weren't directed at me. They still applied to me, and were still hurtful.

Point taken.

Lectures were not the intent and I'm sorry you interpreted my words in that manner. My only intent was to offer some experiences, from my adult life, that have been beneficial for me and some positive encouragement.

That's it.

[msW8ing]

Personally I adore being a BBW. I was never "thin" I've always been a big girl. But I loved it in my young years I was such a tom boy that it didn't hinder any aspect of my life. I had lots of friends and was extremely active. In my 20's I worked out..dropped weight..became societies definition of sexy..I didn't care for that..those who approached me did so because of my looks..honestly now being a BBW..I get approached because of who I am..not how I look..I carry myself with pride..shoulders back..head high..just like my grams taught me..tall and strong..I'd rather shrink a few inches in height than my waist honestly. I'm more self conscious about my height. My friends/family love me for whats inside..my mind, heart and soul. Sorry for the derail..back to the subject..imho "qualifications" of a BBW has changed over the years..I recall when anyone over a size 10 was considered a BBW..now it's anyone over a size 16. I really think there are as many definitions as there are people with opinions on the subject. Just my .02 cents.

[sarahwho]

I think or in my opinion here....

BBW - Big Breasted Women or Big Beautiful Women is the "politically correct" definition of what it originally started out as....

I personally find labels offensive. In life's "society's view", I am either a bbw or ssbbw (aka super sized bbw), because I think the society's view is the sizing equals bbw is 18-1x (possibly), and if ya wear over a 1x, then some how they can categorize you as a ssbbw. So I haven't reduced "enough" yet (trying) to get back down to the next "label".

I find most (don't find offense) "males, ftm's, transpeople" that are big yummy! Other sizes too....just saying.

I don't label myself, because I am "me" - I'd like to say I am comfortable in my own body, but due to society's "standards" I find myself lacking at times. It can be heart breaking to me although, because it's not just the "males" of society, but also the "females" that tend to judge due to size. I am beautiful in my own way, but INSIDE! I don't need to show off to the world as a model....I have morals and codes on how to and how not to treat others....if only society would take those as a sacred way to live and act, there would be more acceptance everywhere!

I don't want to be "barbie doll" size, but close....lol.