Social anxiety disorder.

LediskoLove99 · 04-26-2011, 06:39 PM

I have horrible social anxiety disorder, which is definitely fun to deal with.

So usually when I join a forum my first thought is "Really? You can barely hold a conversation with most family members without wanting to cry, how do you expect to communicate with people you don't even know?"

But lately I've been trying to kind of force myself to throw myself out there, this is my small step. So why not join a social anxiety forum? Been there, done that. I found it hurt more than it helped.

So here I am, just trying to give myself a little nudge in the right direction, hopefully with people I can relate to a little more. And hopefully in the end I won't make an ass out of myself or not bother posting out of fear.

Because honestly, when you're stuck in your house most of the time because you can't leave without wanting to run back in and hide, when you can't go to a grocery store without almost having a breakdown in the middle of everything, when you lose most of your friends because you don't want to do the same things they do because you're terrified of how many new people will be there or you're just not fun anymore, when you're way too fucking timid to even disagree with someone even on the important issues, you know you have a big problem and you need to take a step back and really try to do something about it. So here is my first little step. And it's scary as hell.

I'm not one to constantly bitch, and I definitely try not to sit here and feel sorry for myself. But sometimes you just feel the need to let it all out, even if it's to a bunch of people you have never met, ironic.
There was no point to this really, just kind of felt like sharing. And hoping maybe there's one or two of you out there who know how it feels.

violaine · 04-26-2011, 06:45 PM

i get you.

belle

The_Lady_Snow · 04-26-2011, 07:17 PM

I hope being here helps and you make great connections!!!

Queerasfck · 04-26-2011, 07:21 PM

I have it but am able to deal with most of it, most of the time.

wolfbittenpoet · 04-26-2011, 07:21 PM

We are only mildly scary here. We try to be understanding though. Personally it takes me over an hour at a mall to manage to get up the nerve to buy something that I really want. An hour is on a good day. Sometimes I just have to walk out and not whimper.

girl_dee · 04-26-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LediskoLove99

I have horrible social anxiety disorder, which is definitely fun to deal with.

There was no point to this really, just kind of felt like sharing. And hoping maybe there's one or two of you out there who know how it feels.

I KNOW!!!!

Been fighting this for a while now, but I am MUCH better! I don't run out the store or mall feeling like I can't breathe anymore.

Have faith and welcome to the site.

dee

Galahad · 04-26-2011, 09:28 PM

Me too. I have taken up talking to myself, it distracts me while I'm out and about. I really don't care how crazy people think I am, if I get to enjoy my life somewhat. Little steps will get you there, keep going.

bigbutchmistie · 04-26-2011, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LediskoLove99

I have horrible social anxiety disorder, which is definitely fun to deal with.

So usually when I join a forum my first thought is "Really? You can barely hold a conversation with most family members without wanting to cry, how do you expect to communicate with people you don't even know?"

But lately I've been trying to kind of force myself to throw myself out there, this is my small step. So why not join a social anxiety forum? Been there, done that. I found it hurt more than it helped.

So here I am, just trying to give myself a little nudge in the right direction, hopefully with people I can relate to a little more. And hopefully in the end I won't make an ass out of myself or not bother posting out of fear.

Because honestly, when you're stuck in your house most of the time because you can't leave without wanting to run back in and hide, when you can't go to a grocery store without almost having a breakdown in the middle of everything, when you lose most of your friends because you don't want to do the same things they do because you're terrified of how many new people will be there or you're just not fun anymore, when you're way too fucking timid to even disagree with someone even on the important issues, you know you have a big problem and you need to take a step back and really try to do something about it. So here is my first little step. And it's scary as hell.

I'm not one to constantly bitch, and I definitely try not to sit here and feel sorry for myself. But sometimes you just feel the need to let it all out, even if it's to a bunch of people you have never met, ironic.
There was no point to this really, just kind of felt like sharing. And hoping maybe there's one or two of you out there who know how it feels.

I know how you feel. First of all welcome. And my friends always call me anti social. I rarely hang out with them. When I'm not working I can't wait for.the safety of my home. I eat oh all the time. Size grocery stores give me anxiety bad.

My ex has accused me of being a hermit who needs psychological help. Because I of how it petrifies me to be in a social setting. I work on it but still its hard. Don't ever apologize for being you.

Good Luck

LediskoLove99 · 04-26-2011, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

I know how you feel. First of all welcome. And my friends always call me anti social. I rarely hang out with them. When I'm not working I can't wait for.the safety of my home. I eat oh all the time. Size grocery stores give me anxiety bad.

My ex has accused me of being a hermit who needs psychological help. Because I of how it petrifies me to be in a social setting. I work on it but still its hard. Don't ever apologize for being you.

Good Luck

I know what you mean. Apparently it brings people down when they're having a good time socializing and I'm siting in the corner having a panic attack. My home has been my haven, but it's also been a kind of hell for me too. Oh what to do when you want socialization but are too scared of it.

And screw grocery stores, I think they made those places so they can be amused by how people like us react.

But hey, it's a part of who I am and that's, that.

Thank you for welcoming me and for your well wishes. Good luck to you too.

Rockinonahigh · 04-26-2011, 10:33 PM

Hello and wellcome to the planet,U will find all kinds of prople to be hear as u take the steps u need to take,we have agreat bunch of folks who are very diversed.
Some years ago I was injured in an accident wich left me pretty much home bound,I had had injuries before that I got over and went on my merry way.Not so this one,over the months of getting well I made my home and yard all I needed to have,at first it was for conveneance but gradualy I just didnt go anywhere I didnt have to go.Most people in my life just faded away so socialy I was in limbo.When I was ready to go back to work the idea of leaveing my house sent me into a tailspin..it was then I realised how home bound I had become and it wasnt cause of my injury anymore.Me the over achiver who has never been afraid of nothing couldnt get out the frount door without a panic attack..I could not beleave it.I made myself take one step at the time and over the time I did go back to work,have a social life and make plands for the future.Just take those baby steps right along with a deep breath and u will make it..oh and ist ok to sometimes take a back step just to check out where you have been...just keep takeing forward steps.

Goo · 04-29-2011, 06:41 AM

Welcome and I completely understand where you're coming from...I have S.A.D as well...Walmart and big chain stores are a panic attack waiting to happen.

Usually, when I do have to go to those kinds of stores, I have a bottle of Ativan in my pocket, so that way it nips it in the butt when it does happen.

Medusa · 04-29-2011, 06:47 AM

He Ledisko!

I think it's a healthy and wise move to do some interacting on a social forum such as this. While it can help insulate you from the real world if you choose an internet forum over live interactions, I think it can also help you find your voice, maybe give a little nudge into the "this isnt so scary"
direction.

I applaud you!!

Andrew, Jr. · 04-29-2011, 06:52 AM

I get you, Ledisko, I have that disorder too. It is tough.

Namaste,
Andrew

EnderD_503 · 04-29-2011, 06:58 AM

Welcome, and I kind of get where you're coming from. I don't feel it on the internet or large, noisey public places. As long as there's a commotion I'm good, it's more a fear of having "all eyes" on me in a quiet environment. It's mostly at people's houses or places where I can't leave without detection or potential embarrassment should I feel anxious or sick or something. I get a lot of sharp stomach pains/nausea accompanying the shortness of breath because of it, which sucks.

julieisafemme · 04-29-2011, 05:00 PM

Hi ledisko. I also have SAD but have improved greatly in the last 5 years with cognitive behavioral therapy and meds. I still get very shy around people I do not know. I hate parties with a passion. It comes and goes.

Welcome here to the Planet. I love interacting here and learning from people!

Nat · 04-29-2011, 05:40 PM

Welcome

I hope you enjoy your time here. It seems to me that anxiety is like a slip-knot. Not sure if that makes sense, but it seems to me like this cycle of making my world smaller to alleviate my anxiety, which works - but where the price is that my world gets smaller. It just seems like the anxiety tightens when I try to appease it. I used to be a social person, but I dread social interaction more and more. When I go to the grocery store or the gym or the laundry, I often find myself sitting outside in my van for a long time before I go inside. Sometimes I just go back home. I don't know when it happened - in fits and starts I guess over the last few years. Depression used to be my main schtick, but now anxiety has become at least as big an issue in my own life. I post here, I read here, but I don't interact so much anymore. I am about to spend about 24 hours with friends and going to a large event, and I don't feel up to it. Thankfully I have benzos which I will be taking. I try not to take them too often for fear they will stop working or that I will become addicted. But to endure being around both friends and strangers, I will be making use of them.

bigbutchmistie · 04-30-2011, 05:50 PM

I struggle a lot. I love my job and feel fine in that environment. However I won't go somewhere alone like a restaurant a movie etc makes me panic a lot. When I go to.the club I'm a people watcher. I'm not a dancer and tend to just watch people. For me to approach a femme well that's only happened a few times in my life.

I am extremely shy in person with new people I tend to meet people from online. It makes it easier. This is a daily battle

Turtle · 04-30-2011, 06:03 PM

Welcome aboard. Just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak. Having other folks around who understand and emersing one's self in that which heals (different for everybody)...and sometimes some medication - it all helps.

pull up a cup of tea and enjoy

chefhottie25 · 04-30-2011, 06:50 PM

i am sorry that you are struggling with this. i haven't been diagnosed with it but i do experience a lot of anxiety in most social situations. i suffer from schizophrenia and anxiety is one of the symptoms. i am not prescribed any medication for my anxiety...but i did buy a supplement today that is supposed to help with it. it is called L-Theanine. i will report back if it i find it helpful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LediskoLove99

I have horrible social anxiety disorder, which is definitely fun to deal with.

So usually when I join a forum my first thought is "Really? You can barely hold a conversation with most family members without wanting to cry, how do you expect to communicate with people you don't even know?"

But lately I've been trying to kind of force myself to throw myself out there, this is my small step. So why not join a social anxiety forum? Been there, done that. I found it hurt more than it helped.

So here I am, just trying to give myself a little nudge in the right direction, hopefully with people I can relate to a little more. And hopefully in the end I won't make an ass out of myself or not bother posting out of fear.

Because honestly, when you're stuck in your house most of the time because you can't leave without wanting to run back in and hide, when you can't go to a grocery store without almost having a breakdown in the middle of everything, when you lose most of your friends because you don't want to do the same things they do because you're terrified of how many new people will be there or you're just not fun anymore, when you're way too fucking timid to even disagree with someone even on the important issues, you know you have a big problem and you need to take a step back and really try to do something about it. So here is my first little step. And it's scary as hell.

I'm not one to constantly bitch, and I definitely try not to sit here and feel sorry for myself. But sometimes you just feel the need to let it all out, even if it's to a bunch of people you have never met, ironic.
There was no point to this really, just kind of felt like sharing. And hoping maybe there's one or two of you out there who know how it feels.

Galahad · 05-01-2011, 08:21 PM

Little tricks of distraction, reading and posting on this site and a few others have really helped me. It's still hard to interact online, but it has made a huge difference in my life. I can do what I need to do, work, school and volunteering, running errands, etc. with much less anxiety. There are so many good people here and reading bfp folk's stories and their interactions has made real life meetings less intimidating. Every step forward is a triumph and something to celebrate. I have a goal to work towards too. I try to focus on that when I'm really stressed.

04-26-2011, 06:39 PM	#1
LediskoLove99 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 380891	Social anxiety disorder. I have horrible social anxiety disorder, which is definitely fun to deal with. So usually when I join a forum my first thought is "Really? You can barely hold a conversation with most family members without wanting to cry, how do you expect to communicate with people you don't even know?" But lately I've been trying to kind of force myself to throw myself out there, this is my small step. So why not join a social anxiety forum? Been there, done that. I found it hurt more than it helped. So here I am, just trying to give myself a little nudge in the right direction, hopefully with people I can relate to a little more. And hopefully in the end I won't make an ass out of myself or not bother posting out of fear. Because honestly, when you're stuck in your house most of the time because you can't leave without wanting to run back in and hide, when you can't go to a grocery store without almost having a breakdown in the middle of everything, when you lose most of your friends because you don't want to do the same things they do because you're terrified of how many new people will be there or you're just not fun anymore, when you're way too fucking timid to even disagree with someone even on the important issues, you know you have a big problem and you need to take a step back and really try to do something about it. So here is my first little step. And it's scary as hell. I'm not one to constantly bitch, and I definitely try not to sit here and feel sorry for myself. But sometimes you just feel the need to let it all out, even if it's to a bunch of people you have never met, ironic. There was no point to this really, just kind of felt like sharing. And hoping maybe there's one or two of you out there who know how it feels. __________________ Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper.

04-26-2011, 07:17 PM	#3
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	I hope being here helps and you make great connections!!! __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

04-26-2011, 07:21 PM	#4
Queerasfck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: still ballin' Relationship Status: Triple X Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west side Posts: 2,544 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,716 Thanked 6,496 Times in 1,638 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have it but am able to deal with most of it, most of the time. __________________ http://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk...28750fb328.jpg

04-26-2011, 07:21 PM	#5
wolfbittenpoet Member How Do You Identify?: Typewriter Boy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: FL Posts: 534 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 891 Thanked 1,578 Times in 402 Posts Rep Power: 7303676	We are only mildly scary here. We try to be understanding though. Personally it takes me over an hour at a mall to manage to get up the nerve to buy something that I really want. An hour is on a good day. Sometimes I just have to walk out and not whimper. __________________ Burn Burn Burn

04-29-2011, 06:41 AM	#11
Goo Member How Do You Identify?: dapper and androgynous by nature, human by choice Preferred Pronoun?: i usually answer to anything Relationship Status: in a LDR since Oct 2010 Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: somewhere on Planet Earth, in a house, in a city Posts: 116 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 68 Thanked 118 Times in 54 Posts Rep Power: 505455	Welcome and I completely understand where you're coming from...I have S.A.D as well...Walmart and big chain stores are a panic attack waiting to happen. Usually, when I do have to go to those kinds of stores, I have a bottle of Ativan in my pocket, so that way it nips it in the butt when it does happen. __________________ http://en.spongepedia.org/images/thu...-Goolagoon.jpg The Artist formerly Known as CottonCandy

04-26-2011, 06:45 PM	#2
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,294 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	i get you. belle

04-26-2011, 09:28 PM	#7
Galahad Member How Do You Identify?: do I have to? Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: I.E. Southern California Posts: 425 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,300 Thanked 339 Times in 151 Posts Rep Power: 1446603	Me too. I have taken up talking to myself, it distracts me while I'm out and about. I really don't care how crazy people think I am, if I get to enjoy my life somewhat. Little steps will get you there, keep going.

04-26-2011, 10:33 PM	#10
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,936 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Hello and wellcome to the planet,U will find all kinds of prople to be hear as u take the steps u need to take,we have agreat bunch of folks who are very diversed. Some years ago I was injured in an accident wich left me pretty much home bound,I had had injuries before that I got over and went on my merry way.Not so this one,over the months of getting well I made my home and yard all I needed to have,at first it was for conveneance but gradualy I just didnt go anywhere I didnt have to go.Most people in my life just faded away so socialy I was in limbo.When I was ready to go back to work the idea of leaveing my house sent me into a tailspin..it was then I realised how home bound I had become and it wasnt cause of my injury anymore.Me the over achiver who has never been afraid of nothing couldnt get out the frount door without a panic attack..I could not beleave it.I made myself take one step at the time and over the time I did go back to work,have a social life and make plands for the future.Just take those baby steps right along with a deep breath and u will make it..oh and ist ok to sometimes take a back step just to check out where you have been...just keep takeing forward steps.

04-29-2011, 06:47 AM	#12
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,872 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	He Ledisko! I think it's a healthy and wise move to do some interacting on a social forum such as this. While it can help insulate you from the real world if you choose an internet forum over live interactions, I think it can also help you find your voice, maybe give a little nudge into the "this isnt so scary" direction. I applaud you!! __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

04-29-2011, 06:52 AM	#13
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I get you, Ledisko, I have that disorder too. It is tough. Namaste, Andrew

04-29-2011, 06:58 AM	#14
EnderD_503 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?: Male pronouns Relationship Status: Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,090 Thanked 3,903 Times in 1,030 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Welcome, and I kind of get where you're coming from. I don't feel it on the internet or large, noisey public places. As long as there's a commotion I'm good, it's more a fear of having "all eyes" on me in a quiet environment. It's mostly at people's houses or places where I can't leave without detection or potential embarrassment should I feel anxious or sick or something. I get a lot of sharp stomach pains/nausea accompanying the shortness of breath because of it, which sucks.

04-29-2011, 05:00 PM	#15
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,445 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Me Too!! Hi ledisko. I also have SAD but have improved greatly in the last 5 years with cognitive behavioral therapy and meds. I still get very shy around people I do not know. I hate parties with a passion. It comes and goes. Welcome here to the Planet. I love interacting here and learning from people!

04-29-2011, 05:40 PM	#16
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,992 Times in 2,594 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Welcome I hope you enjoy your time here. It seems to me that anxiety is like a slip-knot. Not sure if that makes sense, but it seems to me like this cycle of making my world smaller to alleviate my anxiety, which works - but where the price is that my world gets smaller. It just seems like the anxiety tightens when I try to appease it. I used to be a social person, but I dread social interaction more and more. When I go to the grocery store or the gym or the laundry, I often find myself sitting outside in my van for a long time before I go inside. Sometimes I just go back home. I don't know when it happened - in fits and starts I guess over the last few years. Depression used to be my main schtick, but now anxiety has become at least as big an issue in my own life. I post here, I read here, but I don't interact so much anymore. I am about to spend about 24 hours with friends and going to a large event, and I don't feel up to it. Thankfully I have benzos which I will be taking. I try not to take them too often for fear they will stop working or that I will become addicted. But to endure being around both friends and strangers, I will be making use of them. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

04-30-2011, 05:50 PM	#17
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I struggle a lot. I love my job and feel fine in that environment. However I won't go somewhere alone like a restaurant a movie etc makes me panic a lot. When I go to.the club I'm a people watcher. I'm not a dancer and tend to just watch people. For me to approach a femme well that's only happened a few times in my life. I am extremely shy in person with new people I tend to meet people from online. It makes it easier. This is a daily battle

04-30-2011, 06:03 PM	#18
Turtle Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A mixity Preferred Pronoun?: whatever Relationship Status: chillin Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: in a really really cute little place Posts: 2,144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,442 Thanked 4,531 Times in 1,222 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Welcome aboard. Just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak. Having other folks around who understand and emersing one's self in that which heals (different for everybody)...and sometimes some medication - it all helps. pull up a cup of tea and enjoy

05-01-2011, 08:21 PM	#20
Galahad Member How Do You Identify?: do I have to? Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: I.E. Southern California Posts: 425 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,300 Thanked 339 Times in 151 Posts Rep Power: 1446603	Little tricks of distraction, reading and posting on this site and a few others have really helped me. It's still hard to interact online, but it has made a huge difference in my life. I can do what I need to do, work, school and volunteering, running errands, etc. with much less anxiety. There are so many good people here and reading bfp folk's stories and their interactions has made real life meetings less intimidating. Every step forward is a triumph and something to celebrate. I have a goal to work towards too. I try to focus on that when I'm really stressed.