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07-01-2010, 10:23 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
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. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: .
Posts: 2,905
Thanks: 4,151
Thanked 5,825 Times in 1,722 Posts
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I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail
Share them here, your worst lines ever.
You know the ones, no sooner do they escape your lips than you know tonight is decidedly not your night to get laid. One that didn't work for me: "You're interesting like a case study."
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken |
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07-01-2010, 10:31 PM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
a cynical princess wannabe Preferred Pronoun?:
lipgloss junkie Relationship Status:
yep 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: the ville
Posts: 3,027
Thanks: 2,544
Thanked 6,765 Times in 1,846 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Is it wrong that the aforementioned line would work on me?
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"Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love." - Wally Lamb |
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07-01-2010, 10:36 PM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?:
Miss Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The land of milk and honey.
Posts: 2,169
Thanks: 741
Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Umm, does it have to be one of our own? Have I derailed the thread already?
Him: What are my Chances?
(my response to this after being approached (from behind) while getting into my car) "Of being arrested? I'd say pretty high" |
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07-01-2010, 10:37 PM
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#4 | |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: .
Posts: 2,905
Thanks: 4,151
Thanked 5,825 Times in 1,722 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Quote:
__________________
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken |
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07-01-2010, 10:50 PM
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#5 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single  Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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07-01-2010, 11:03 PM
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#6 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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07-02-2010, 07:57 AM
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#7 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeast corner
Posts: 5,633
Thanks: 24,417
Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
This one really happened to me...
In the parking lot of the bookstore...from the (maybe) 20ish young man who held the door open for me...
Have you ever considered the advantages of a friendship with a younger man? 
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 I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters |
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07-02-2010, 07:58 AM
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#8 |
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Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,683 Times in 7,831 Posts
Rep Power: 10000026  |
"Hey Lady, you got the love I need."
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. . . |
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07-02-2010, 08:16 AM
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#9 |
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Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
How 'bout I play Nelly and you play Paw?
(needless to say, I did not get laid that night)
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07-02-2010, 08:39 AM
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#10 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
man Preferred Pronoun?:
beef Relationship Status:
Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: nashvegas
Posts: 1,607
Thanks: 2,411
Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts
Rep Power: 14271905  |
bad lines
would you like to come over for breakfast?
you look like someone i used to sleep with you are like manna from heaven, come to rest in my mouth. can you touch your toes in that skirt? love your shoes, they would look great behind your head. Wow! you are HOTT! can i fan the flame i like wine, but i prefer moan what time do you want to get off? hey, i know you. you're the one that likes it doggie style. mmmmmm, you smell like sex hey girl, why don't you come over here and give me a big fat wet kiss hello my name is Andy..... Handy Andy girl, you look like you got Skillz Dayum, you got a big fine ass you got boobs for days
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what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here? 
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07-02-2010, 08:44 AM
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#11 |
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Italian Stallion
How Do You Identify?:
DNA Usually... Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In a van, down by the river..
Posts: 2,702
Thanks: 1,557
Thanked 4,714 Times in 1,263 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Well here's mine...
"Your eyes are amazing, like 2 blue beautiful pools of water that I just want to dive right into"... Next thing you know, we were skinny dipping  What can I say, I'm a sucker for blue (and green) eyes... |
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07-02-2010, 08:52 AM
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#12 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Big Money Texas
Posts: 4,708
Thanks: 24,309
Thanked 13,075 Times in 3,049 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Well, I can't remember any Chandler (hey G) moments that I've done myself, but the worst pickup line I've ever been dished was...
*Butch walks up wearing a cowboy hat* "Hey honey, wanna dance?" Me ~ "Not right now, but thanks" "Well, can I buy you a drank?" Me ~ "I'm good, thank you though". "Ok, well can I take you out to sometime? I promise I'm a gentleman and take my hat off when I eat.... I wouldn't want to make you bowlegged." Me ~ "WOW... ok, you can buy me that beer now!" |
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07-02-2010, 09:07 AM
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#13 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
She thinks all my jokes are corny 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Great State O'
Posts: 880
Thanks: 1,027
Thanked 1,838 Times in 500 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
This is pretty recent.
Backstory: Mahhh Woman and I were in a club. I was standing off to the side, and Mahhh Woman was standing in line. A butch is in front of Mahhh Woman. Butch keeps looking back to check out Mahhh Woman. I can see The Butch is trying to come up with something to say. Finally, The Butch musters up the nerve, and *this* is what she comes up with... TheButch: (yelling, mind you) "Wow, you look just like my ex! It's incredible!" (gets camera phone ready) "Can I take your picture? I wish I had a picture of my ex to show you, because it's just so incredible how much you look like her. Can I take your picture, so I can show my friends?" Mahhh Woman: (smiles) "No" The Butch: "Would you like to go out on a date sometime?" Really? We saw this butch later, and she was pretty certain that the only reason Mahhh Woman wouldn't go out with her is because I was in the picture. I mean, how could such a stellar line NOT work? Dylan |
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07-02-2010, 09:25 AM
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#14 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
sea shell Relationship Status:
married 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,687
Thanks: 1,927
Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
i never said this, but i think you should!
once i was about 22 and in a 'hometown buffet' this goodlooking guy leans in too close and over me and points to the chicken on my plate while looking down my shirt murmurs:
"Is that a THIGH or a BREAST." i was so 20s-dumb that i didn't even know that i was being hit on until i came up to my mother and said, 'that guy over there asked me if my chicken was...' she clued me in. and occasionally one of us we'll say it to each other, given the slightest opportunity. (this guy had GAME! who hits on someone at hometown buffet? who hits on someone and mentions chicken parts? ...i wonder where he is now.) |
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07-02-2010, 09:45 AM
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#15 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
m'lady 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 2,000
Thanks: 1,834
Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Said to me by one of my patients (and I LOVE this line!! lol) :
"Hey Blondie, I got a pickup you'd look mighty good in!"
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  Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi |
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07-02-2010, 10:11 AM
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#16 |
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Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Hey Baby I am just looking for a piece of ass.
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07-02-2010, 10:14 AM
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#17 | |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
man Preferred Pronoun?:
beef Relationship Status:
Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: nashvegas
Posts: 1,607
Thanks: 2,411
Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts
Rep Power: 14271905 |
Quote:
we were at this bar next to the truck stop, and this guy just walked up to you and said that i guess you gotta give the guy credit, he knew what he wanted and didn't want to beat around the bush, he wanted to be in it
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what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?
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07-02-2010, 10:27 AM
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#18 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Really like your peaches...wanna shake your tree.
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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07-02-2010, 10:34 AM
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#19 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atascadero, CA
Posts: 4,933
Thanks: 2,309
Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
You've been a bad boi! Now go to MY room!
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07-02-2010, 10:46 AM
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#20 | |
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Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Quote:
Ha! I said "well you won't find one here" and he said "I'm just tryin' to hownest baybah" SIGH
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| Tags |
| fail, mr. big stuff, pick-up, smooth move ex lax |
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