Some labels do not include trans in the definition

[adorable]

Originally Posted by little man

i think much of it depends on where you are and who you're with.

inside the queer community, there is much more discussion and thought put into identity, who we are, what we are than there is in the world at large. while i'm sure there are some folks in the world who do consciously consider self and who they are in a greater context...i have doubts that gender identity plays into that much, if at all. when i'm at work or the grocery store or at the zoo...my gender identity does not come into play for anyone else. obviously, it's a part of what goes into making me the type of man i am, but i don't see anyone mulling it over. for the general population, i'm a funny guy who is helpful or irritated or pleasant. while it is noted that i'm not overly ionterested in sports and that i seem to "understand" women a bit more than your average joe...my manhood is not questioned. i'm just a different sort of man. since my primary goal in life isn't looking for pussy to get up in, but to find someone who's a good match for me in other areas....i'm a really different sort of guy.

because people tend to see the worrld through their own filters, and scrutiny of gender idenity isn't on their list of things to think about, they ascribe to the world around them an ease in being whoever one is. it's in the narrower confines of social subgroups (queer/b-f/trans) that all this stuff comes into play. i wonder if the influence of knowing we're different, in the context of the broader world, comes into play here online...where we speak up about being misnamed and call people out on intent. i think that because this place matters, these people matter to us...it's important to say this stuff aloud. i have a difficult time believing that many folks, trans or otherwise, spend much of their offline time saying, "hey...i'm a boy or a boi or a masculine female bodied man".

it's wonderful that we have these discussions, that we're all able to come to a better understanding of ourselves and others in the world. unless there were some history of conflict between any two posters, i'd be hard pressed to believe that *anyone* is being malicious in their terminology or phrasing. we take our cues from one another in what we read.

and now, it's time for this guy to give his sister a ride to work and go pull some carpet.

I disagree. I think that IF they're outsides matched their insides they would be identifying to the world they were a man. And not only is it something they dream about, fantasize about and hope for - it can be all consuming. It is very real for them. It is very frustrating and my impression is they do think about it all the time.

Within our "subgroup" as you call it the most frustrating thing is not being able to celebrate being a man. To do that can be seen as msyoginistic. The acceptance is limited in a "yeah, yeah ok you're a man don't throw it in our face" kind of way. Being a man is not what some people feel on the inside - so rather then accept that some people do - they are quick to dismiss the realness and excitement of another's core being.

What does happen at the grocery store, at the zoo, in the shower, waiting for the bus, applying for a job - is they are reminded constantly of how the world sees them which is not how they feel. I see that is a sad sort of hell.

(I disagree with your taking your experience for others - not your experience if that makes sense. I don't see that as the experience for many female bodied men.)