The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by christie0918

SF -

I snipped your post for brevity.

I wanted to clarify that my viewing my son's experience through a different lens (or viewing a DA's post thru a different lens) doesn't mean that I don't hold him (or them) to the same standard. If anything, in my son's case, he is held to a higher standard with me. Its my job to ensure he has the skill set necessary for the world with the same rules/laws/expectations as those without his challenges.

I use the *lens* as part of my process in trying to figure out how he thinks. How he came to whatever place he is in - because for me, if I can figure out his perspective (which is usually so very different than mine) then I have a starting point to address the specific issue.

I don't think this is coddling him or giving him the false sense of security you mention. This is, through lots of trial and error, what works best for him. I don't expect others to go through the same interaction process with him, but more that he has the skills to self monitor/reflect rather than standing in the midst of a heated interaction with someone and not have a clue as to how he got there. He doesn't get to be an asswipe any more than anyone else does - probably less because I never want him to use his challenges as a crutch/excuse or pass.

I think I mixed up a post with responding to what you wrote about and speaking to my own (adeles) feelings/experiences.

I didn't at all mean to imply that you coddle you son. If I did I want to apologize to you, because that would be an awful thing to say. I smiled when you said "Bratboy" and knew from what you wrote that you are all kinds of great as a mother.

I totally am for giving consideration to *where* a person is coming from, but not so much for allowing challenges as a crutch/excuse (which you worded so well, thanks).

I think I wish we could give everyone consideration because it is not just different abledness that causes a post to read bad. It could be a bad day, a break up, a death in the family or a million other things that leads to an asswipe post.

I hope I explained this better?