Can a poly/mono work?

[Mel C.]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i agree too, but do you think that a person that is "wired" for monogamy could ever be happy with someone who is polygamous no matter how honest the parties are?

What i mean is: HYPOTHETICALLY:

If i (being poly) were to tell my partner (who is mono) that i am going out for the evening to meet with another lover i am being honest, even though she would be left to deal with the aftermath of my stepping out.

Could that ever work?

In the hypothetical scenario described above, it doesn't seem to be about whether someone is poly or mono, but whether someone has an expectation that their partner be poly or mono. If i expect a partner to be mono and they are not, it would probably be an issue. If I expect a partner to be poly and they aren't, it would probably be an issue. Either way, for the relationship to succeed, I imagine the "issues" need to be addressed.

Although "I'm going out to meet a lover" is honest, it doesn't seem very nurturing. I'd like to think that if I was monogamous in a relationship with someone poly, that there would be some discussion and ground rules established for what behaviors are acceptable. Likewise, if I was poly and had a mono partner, I'd like to think that I would treat her in a manner that was respectful at all times.