Demographics of how we date/partner/be single

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Gráinne

As for me: Not dating, no sex, nada. Not looking, but see status over there.

For the questions:

1. A big "it depends". I've dated fresh off the Internet, and I've dated people I already knew as friends.

2. I do seem to see one person at a time, but I don't have the "exclusive" or "going steady" talk until several dates later (or a month or so). I don't rush that talk but I like it to happen by about 3 months of weekly dating, let's say.

3. I need to feel attraction, admiration, and a good feeling around them to keep going and not friend zone them.

4. I've decided I need to feel in love with someone to make it worth it. Maybe that chops a lot of sex out of my life, but that's my feeling. And I automatically have to know them well. I'm talking the three months of dating, at least, and waiting longer than that.

5. Yes, if before the exclusivity talk and both of us were open about seeing others. However, it just seems like I'm monogamous earlier.

6. Again, I'd have the monogamy talk before sleeping with someone anyway.

Sorry I missed this (???)

Oh I'm fine with monogamous dating when I have known the person a while. I have done monogamy and I don't have an issue with it.
I often decide to not bother with dating others - on my own- without discussion and the other person, I don't mind if they date others, casually. I usually like to have that discussion outwards though, about how they'd like to proceed at the six month mark.
But that's not monogamy from the first date. And the expectation *without* the talk of monogamy I would find a big fat red flag about communication problems.
I just get very baffled when I meet someone who monogamously dates, and expects monogamous dating from the first date(to me that isn't dating. That's courting - you have serious intentions and you are actively perusing something. And to court someone you don't know seems... I don't understand. I would find that frightening). I have only run into it a rare few times. Once in the UK and a few times from American butches in the Midwest.

I can't pretend to understand, but it's a foreign concept to me. And I know they view me in an... "Unfavourable" light lol. I've been told in no uncertain terms what a girl "doesn't do" if she isn't an "unfeeling she-wolf" I think the term was lol. And also a few other odd things. But I'm chalking it up to just regional cultural differences for now, and background. but I'm still interested in the reasons.

Thanks G.

And yes tinker belly, just those who are monogamous from the first date.

I "get" monogamous dating after lengthy dating.