The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

[Linus]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I guess I don't know what to say now.

I mean all we can do is say we are Femme. If someone wants to think we are just straight women then they are free to say whatever they want to say.

A year or so ago someone I considered a really good friend said I was just a straight woman and implied I cheated on Cynthia with men. I am still speechless and very hurt.

All we can do in response is just be ourselves.

I do think it is important to note that when Femmes say "oh so and so is not really Femme or even Queer" it demeans all of us. It's like the ultimate insult for someone Femmes don't like. The ultimate cut. Be who I want you to be or with who I want you to be with or you are a straight woman.

What answer is there for that?

Educate them.

You will need to educate people since it's not in MSM and they won't understand otherwise if they are not clued in. It sucks to have to out yourself each time to educate them but unfortunately, it's a reality in society (it's a page from the trans community and sometimes, something we have to do; I haven't had to do this yet but have no qualms about doing it if the situation ever rises -- I'm already used to educating colleagues who should know but..).