The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by BullDog

When I do speak up as a butch woman there seems to be some hostility from a few and a general uneasiness amongst more than a few. That is how it seems to me. It does not come from one specific gender identity.

I'm going to be honest with you, and you can take it however you're going to take it.

I have seen you (and others - but since I'm responding to you I'm going to talk about you) go into threads that are not about being a woman...and start talking about being a woman. TO ME it feels...weird*. And other people -have- said to me that they feel like you (and the other people who do this) are doing it to silence them.

I have no problem with you talking about being a woman. I have no problem with you talking about misogyny you have experienced or seen other people experience. But I really think you would be better heard if you would pick your platforms more wisely.

I get that there is a subtext wherein Butch Women and/or Female Butches were shit on at the "other" site. But can we maybe start fresh and not always behave as though we are waiting for that to happen?

EDIT - I figured out what phrase I was looking for above when I said "weird". The phrase was "right message, wrong place".

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I'm going to be honest with you, and you can take it however you're going to take it.

I have seen you (and others - but since I'm responding to you I'm going to talk about you) go into threads that are not about being a woman...and start talking about being a woman. TO ME it feels...weird. And other people -have- said to me that they feel like you (and the other people who do this) are doing it to silence them.

I have no problem with you talking about being a woman. I have no problem with you talking about misogyny you have experienced or seen other people experience. But I really think you would be better heard if you would pick your platforms more wisely.

I get that there is a subtext wherein Butch Women and/or Female Butches were shit on at the "other" site. But can we maybe start fresh and not always behave as though we are waiting for that to happen?

Betenoire, I appreciate you being direct with me, but I am a woman so why would it feel weird to hear me talking about being a woman? Perhaps there is a specific example you can give me where that felt strange.

I think this site has given us a fresh start to a certain degree, but the old attitudes seem to still be there. However, I do sense, overall, more general goodwill to trying to be more respectful to each other as well.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I'm going to be honest with you, and you can take it however you're going to take it.

I have seen you (and others - but since I'm responding to you I'm going to talk about you) go into threads that are not about being a woman...and start talking about being a woman. TO ME it feels...weird*. And other people -have- said to me that they feel like you (and the other people who do this) are doing it to silence them.

I have no problem with you talking about being a woman. I have no problem with you talking about misogyny you have experienced or seen other people experience. But I really think you would be better heard if you would pick your platforms more wisely.

I get that there is a subtext wherein Butch Women and/or Female Butches were shit on at the "other" site. But can we maybe start fresh and not always behave as though we are waiting for that to happen?

EDIT - I figured out what phrase I was looking for above when I said "weird". The phrase was "right message, wrong place".

OK just read your edited version. I am not to talk about being a woman in certain places. I should just keep that to myself. Should femmes keep it to themselves that they are women, should transmen keep it to themselves that they are men?

I have been politely, and in some cases not so politely, been told to "tone" it down. Don't talk about being a woman so much, or qualify it so that everyone is certain that not all butches are women. I've never heard anyone tell a femme not to talk about being a woman.

My question to the general audience is why does it make you so uncomfortable for butches to talk about being a woman?

If you happen to find it "off topic" in the future, perhaps you (the general you) can address it then.