Top 10: Things To Have In Your Home That Women Love

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I'm just kind of curious about something. A couple of femmes have used 'he' and 'him' when talking about what they might do for butches who come to visit. Since, at least for the most part, 'he' is not the default pronoun for butch folk on this site, I have a question.

Does the use of 'he' in your posts mean you are talking about a transman and/or a male id'd butch? I have to assume that, because you certainly can't be talking about what you would do for a butch woman while using male pronouns. I must also assume you don't date butch women. If butch women are also in your realm of dating, you might try s/he as an inclusive way to use pronouns.

(and S/He is also a great book by Minnie Bruce Pratt.........a kick ass femme who has written some great stuff)

I'll bite.

When I am not referring to a specific person, I do use he because that's the majority rule in my life. The majority of people I've partnered with, and tend to partner with, prefer he or hy over she.

As you mentioned, using he as a pronoun for a butch woman is not appropriate. If I were partnered with a butch woman or was making specific reference to someone I know who identifies as a butch woman, I would make sure to address them accordingly, whether it be she, shy, zi, ze, or whatever feels right to them.



Vixen, I certainly hope that your post wasn't made just to stir the pot. I chose not to quote it when answering you because, even though I've never had to fight within this community for my identity to be acknowledged, I found it offensive. I can be pretty dull about what's going on in others' heads, so if I'm up in arms about this, I can only imagine how hurtful your words are to other members of our community.