Butch & Transmen Friendship: Mutual Support

princessbelle · 06-13-2010, 06:16 PM

If i may......

Just wanted to pop my femme head in here, since AtLast invited everyone (thanks for that)....

I want to just say how wonderful this thread is to read and how happy I am to see it. In my life as a femme, I have wittnessed the sometimes anamosity that can go on. It has always saddened me.

What a wonderful idea, Atlast, to bring the positive, upbeat, informative and "shaking hands" comradery that this has started.

*curtsies to all here and

Thank you for the breath of fresh air and sunlight that leads our community into strength and togetherness and overpowers the negative and bias who's shadows grow larger in the dark.

The_Lady_Snow · 06-13-2010, 06:20 PM

I have to ask just for clarification because I really need it right now..

Was I wrong to assume this was Butch and Transmen space? or was everyone allowed?

Thank you for your time.

Linus · 06-13-2010, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I have to ask just for clarification because I really need it right now..

Was I wrong to assume this was Butch and Transmen space? or was everyone allowed?

Thank you for your time.

From the OP:

Quote:

Everyone is welcome to post thoughts here (this is just not directed at ideas from butches and Transmen or inter-gendered folks).

The_Lady_Snow · 06-13-2010, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

From the OP:

[/COLOR][/FONT]

Linus thank you

I am to busy with a soon to be 10 year old to have read it all...

I appreciate the clarification, for now I can post some thoughts.

Sam · 06-13-2010, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Linus thank you

I am to busy with a soon to be 10 year old to have read it all...

I appreciate the clarification, for now I can post some thoughts.

wow 10 already? how time flies

i know wrong thread

weatherboi · 06-13-2010, 07:33 PM

Hi again!

I am gonna attempt to explain some of my perspective on this subject so please everybody bear with me and be patient.

My first relationship ended because my best friend who was/is butch betrayed me by sleeping with my first girlfriend. We had been together several years when this happened and I had been friends with said butch for about 3 years. I moved on but not without some baggage that still to this day enters into my relationships.

I would like to see us discuss codes of ethics we should all be living by in order to respect one another. We all have them in our circles.

1.You don't steal or sleep with another butches/trans/guys partner, lover, girl, or woman.

2.Use preferred pronouns when addressing each other.

3. If a butch buddy or trans or guy friend asks me about someone they are interested in I feel it is my duty to be honest with them in a way that is not bashing but is straight forward about my experience of that person.

These are just some thoughts folks!!!

Linus · 06-13-2010, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weatherboi

I would like to see us discuss codes of ethics we should all be living by in order to respect one another. We all have them in our circles.

1.You don't steal or sleep with another butches/trans/guys partner, lover, girl, or woman.

Personally, I think that there are two people in this scenario: both the butch and your first g/f did the cheating. Neither is to be excluded and both parties were willing participants.

To me, the idea that one shouldn't "steal" a lover, partner, etc. suggests -- TO ME -- the idea that a woman is chattel (sp?) and owned. If she chooses to find someone else (and it's not a poly relationship), then there is more going on there.

DapperButch · 06-13-2010, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Hi again!

I am gonna attempt to explain some of my perspective on this subject so please everybody bear with me and be patient.

My first relationship ended because my best friend who was/is butch betrayed me by sleeping with my first girlfriend. We had been together several years when this happened and I had been friends with said butch for about 3 years. I moved on but not without some baggage that still to this day enters into my relationships.

I would like to see us discuss codes of ethics we should all be living by in order to respect one another. We all have them in our circles.

1.You don't steal or sleep with another butches/trans/guys partner, lover, girl, or woman.
2.Use preferred pronouns when addressing each other.

3. If a butch buddy or trans or guy friend asks me about someone they are interested in I feel it is my duty to be honest with them in a way that is not bashing but is straight forward about my experience of that person.

These are just some thoughts folks!!!

Code of Ethics.

For me, number one also includes not dating a friend's ex-girlfriend.

I would not say that it is "unethical" to date a friends ex-g.f. per say, and some people may even ask their friend if it would be ok, but for me, I find it best just to see anyone that any of my friends have dated as being "off limits". It just makes things a lot easier.

Anyone else follow this "rule"?

Ebon · 06-13-2010, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Hi again!

I am gonna attempt to explain some of my perspective on this subject so please everybody bear with me and be patient.

My first relationship ended because my best friend who was/is butch betrayed me by sleeping with my first girlfriend. We had been together several years when this happened and I had been friends with said butch for about 3 years. I moved on but not without some baggage that still to this day enters into my relationships.

I would like to see us discuss codes of ethics we should all be living by in order to respect one another. We all have them in our circles.

1.You don't steal or sleep with another butches/trans/guys partner, lover, girl, or woman.

2.Use preferred pronouns when addressing each other.

3. If a butch buddy or trans or guy friend asks me about someone they are interested in I feel it is my duty to be honest with them in a way that is not bashing but is straight forward about my experience of that person.

These are just some thoughts folks!!!

I was just talking with my buddy about this today. We were talking about how we should be looking out for our friends lady not trying to hit on her. Love to know some guys are on the same page.

OB

AtLast · 06-13-2010, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

If i may......

Just wanted to pop my femme head in here, since AtLast invited everyone (thanks for that)....

I want to just say how wonderful this thread is to read and how happy I am to see it. In my life as a femme, I have wittnessed the sometimes anamosity that can go on. It has always saddened me.

What a wonderful idea, Atlast, to bring the positive, upbeat, informative and "shaking hands" comradery that this has started.

*curtsies to all here and

Thank you for the breath of fresh air and sunlight that leads our community into strength and togetherness and overpowers the negative and bias who's shadows grow larger in the dark.

Yup... everyone is welcome!!! I put it in the general topic area about relationships, etc. and community because I wanted it to really be about friendship struggles, understanding, misunderstanding, how feelings get hurt and how we deal with this, sharing what is common, what is not.... how we all interact in real-time and here... and anyone can add other stuff to the list! I would think femmes have some perspectives to share, too! Maybe MtFs might want to say a few things....

What is kewl is that quite a few members have just come in and posted!

DapperButch · 06-13-2010, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Yup... everyone is welcome!!! I put it in the general topic area about relationships, etc. and community because I wanted it to really be about friendship struggles, understanding, misunderstanding, how feelings get hurt and how we deal with this, sharing what is common, what is not.... how we all interact in real-time and here... and anyone can add other stuff to the list! I would think femmes have some perspectives to share, too! Maybe MtFs might want to say a few things....

What is kewl is that quite a few members have just come in and posted!

Forgive me here, AtLast, but I just want to make sure...the topic is butch, transmen, and intergendered friendships, though, correct?

The_Lady_Snow · 06-13-2010, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Forgive me here, AtLast, but I just want to make sure...the topic is butch, transmen, and intergendered friendships, though, correct?

*I* think (not saying this for everyone) that another thread should be started on a femme's perspective or affect on these friendships. This way you all have the chance to build some bridges and friendships without more stuff thrown in there.

I hope that made sense.

Oh lookee here I got ballsy and made the damn thread...

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...647#post129647

Mince!!!!

Sam · 06-13-2010, 06:28 PM

I'm thinking they will let ANYONE in this thread eh?

So many thanks to ya'll this is a great thread. i have been reading along.

Strappie · 06-13-2010, 10:41 PM

Hey Guys,

Please take my words not always literally for I am not the best at putting words into writing like some of you so eloquently do.

I am asking this from my heart and not being an ass in anyway shape or form. I'm not so "up" on my trans knowledge so please bare with me while I come up with words that do not offend anyone. And please believe me when I say this is from my heart because one of my best buds is Post-Op (he says he thinks we were separated at birth) lol

ok so here it goes....

Over at the Dash site I started a thread pertaining to the Olivia Cruise: in regards of Trans folks not being welcome on a Olivia Cruise. I wanted to ask the question but I stopped before because my previous questions stirred up some not so happy comments from folks including the owner.

My question is this, How are they to know if some random Joe Blow who has never been through a transition get on the Cruise? For real.. I'm not trying to stir up shit trust me. Can't any male just hop on the ship? How are they to know who transitioned and who hasn't? I want all my friends gay-lesbian-trans-tg-ect... to be able to enjoy the things I enjoy not because of who I am or who they are. I want equal rights for ALL.

They would have to let "everyone" on the ship? No? How could they not, are they really going to ask me if I'm really gay? Will they ask you what you are? I don't know ... I think I should make a phone call.

Corkey · 06-13-2010, 10:47 PM

Strappie, personally I don't care about the dash site, or what they do or don't do, I have no vested interest in that site. I know that this site and the owners are very inclusive and would not in any way be divisive to the membership. So what the owner of the other site does or doesn't do in no way effects me or mine. And take your time to express yourself, I'm in no hurry.

Strappie · 06-13-2010, 10:59 PM

Corkey,

Thanks for not taking my words wrong. I find it a bit absurd that they would allow Men to go on the Cruise. They might as well open it up if they do that. I guess at this point I'm frustrated with the decision they made because I do know some do not feel it would be a welcoming place for them. I've heard a couple of times, "why would I support a function that is for "women" only.

Corkey · 06-13-2010, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

Corkey,

Thanks for not taking my words wrong. I find it a bit absurd that they would allow Men to go on the Cruise. They might as well open it up if they do that. I guess at this point I'm frustrated with the decision they made because I do know some do not feel it would be a welcoming place for them. I've heard a couple of times, "why would I support a function that is for "women" only.

I totally understand your concern, but I understand that for this particular cruse they are allowing FTM's and Transmen on the joy ride. Personally I wouldn't go on an Olivia cruse as it isn't my cuppa, but I would go on a Princess cruse to Alaska if given the opportunity, and of course Ami would be right by my side.

DapperButch · 06-13-2010, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

Hey Guys,

Please take my words not always literally for I am not the best at putting words into writing like some of you so eloquently do.

I am asking this from my heart and not being an ass in anyway shape or form. I'm not so "up" on my trans knowledge so please bare with me while I come up with words that do not offend anyone. And please believe me when I say this is from my heart because one of my best buds is Post-Op (he says he thinks we were separated at birth) lol

ok so here it goes....

Over at the Dash site I started a thread pertaining to the Olivia Cruise: in regards of Trans folks not being welcome on a Olivia Cruise. I wanted to ask the question but I stopped before because my previous questions stirred up some not so happy comments from folks including the owner.

My question is this, How are they to know if some random Joe Blow who has never been through a transition get on the Cruise? For real.. I'm not trying to stir up shit trust me. Can't any male just hop on the ship? How are they to know who transitioned and who hasn't? I want all my friends gay-lesbian-trans-tg-ect... to be able to enjoy the things I enjoy not because of who I am or who they are. I want equal rights for ALL.

They would have to let "everyone" on the ship? No? How could they not, are they really going to ask me if I'm really gay? Will they ask if you? I don't know ... I think I should make a phone call.

Hey, Strappie. I am curious to know this as well. Does Olivia cruises only let cissexed gay females on the cruises? Do they let any other group on? MTFs? FTMs? Cis gay males? Cis straight males? Cis straight females? (I am pretty sure the answer is yes to the last one..straight cis females can come).

I would really like to know. Not b/c I am planning on going, but b/c I would like to know.

Also, if it is typcially only gay females, did the admin of the dash site may a special request that EVERYONE on her web site be able to attend?

Let us (or at least me!) know if you make that phone call/pose that question on the site, what you find out.

Kosmo · 06-13-2010, 11:01 PM

Strappie,

I don't know who Olivia markets their cruises to now. I know how they initially did. They probably have a website you can check.

Strappie · 06-13-2010, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hey, Strappie. I am curious to know this as well. Does Olivia cruises only let cissexed gay females on the cruises? Do they let any other group on? MTFs? FTMs? Cis gay males? Cis straight males? Cis straight females? (I am pretty sure the answer is yes to the last one..straight cis females can come).

I would really like to know. Not b/c I am planning on going, but b/c I would like to know.

Also, if it is typcially only gay females, did the admin of the dash site may a special request that EVERYONE on her web site be able to attend?

Let us (or at least me!) know if you make that phone call/pose that question on the site, what you find out.

Dapper,

I will call Olivia Cruise myself tomorrow.. for now I need to settle my thoughts and get some sleep. 5am comes fast at Midnight!

06-13-2010, 06:16 PM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,497 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	If i may...... Just wanted to pop my femme head in here, since AtLast invited everyone (thanks for that).... I want to just say how wonderful this thread is to read and how happy I am to see it. In my life as a femme, I have wittnessed the sometimes anamosity that can go on. It has always saddened me. What a wonderful idea, Atlast, to bring the positive, upbeat, informative and "shaking hands" comradery that this has started. *curtsies to all here and Thank you for the breath of fresh air and sunlight that leads our community into strength and togetherness and overpowers the negative and bias who's shadows grow larger in the dark. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

06-13-2010, 06:20 PM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,076 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474875	I have to ask just for clarification because I really need it right now.. Was I wrong to assume this was Butch and Transmen space? or was everyone allowed? Thank you for your time. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

06-13-2010, 10:47 PM	#15
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,269 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Strappie, personally I don't care about the dash site, or what they do or don't do, I have no vested interest in that site. I know that this site and the owners are very inclusive and would not in any way be divisive to the membership. So what the owner of the other site does or doesn't do in no way effects me or mine. And take your time to express yourself, I'm in no hurry. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

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06-13-2010, 07:33 PM	#6
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,547 Times in 2,992 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Hi again! I am gonna attempt to explain some of my perspective on this subject so please everybody bear with me and be patient. My first relationship ended because my best friend who was/is butch betrayed me by sleeping with my first girlfriend. We had been together several years when this happened and I had been friends with said butch for about 3 years. I moved on but not without some baggage that still to this day enters into my relationships. I would like to see us discuss codes of ethics we should all be living by in order to respect one another. We all have them in our circles. 1.You don't steal or sleep with another butches/trans/guys partner, lover, girl, or woman. 2.Use preferred pronouns when addressing each other. 3. If a butch buddy or trans or guy friend asks me about someone they are interested in I feel it is my duty to be honest with them in a way that is not bashing but is straight forward about my experience of that person. These are just some thoughts folks!!!

06-13-2010, 06:28 PM	#13
Sam Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 2/11/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: I'll let you know Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,101 Thanked 668 Times in 363 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm thinking they will let ANYONE in this thread eh? So many thanks to ya'll this is a great thread. i have been reading along.

06-13-2010, 10:41 PM	#14
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Hey Guys, Please take my words not always literally for I am not the best at putting words into writing like some of you so eloquently do. I am asking this from my heart and not being an ass in anyway shape or form. I'm not so "up" on my trans knowledge so please bare with me while I come up with words that do not offend anyone. And please believe me when I say this is from my heart because one of my best buds is Post-Op (he says he thinks we were separated at birth) lol ok so here it goes.... Over at the Dash site I started a thread pertaining to the Olivia Cruise: in regards of Trans folks not being welcome on a Olivia Cruise. I wanted to ask the question but I stopped before because my previous questions stirred up some not so happy comments from folks including the owner. My question is this, How are they to know if some random Joe Blow who has never been through a transition get on the Cruise? For real.. I'm not trying to stir up shit trust me. Can't any male just hop on the ship? How are they to know who transitioned and who hasn't? I want all my friends gay-lesbian-trans-tg-ect... to be able to enjoy the things I enjoy not because of who I am or who they are. I want equal rights for ALL. They would have to let "everyone" on the ship? No? How could they not, are they really going to ask me if I'm really gay? Will they ask you what you are? I don't know ... I think I should make a phone call.

06-13-2010, 10:59 PM	#16
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Corkey, Thanks for not taking my words wrong. I find it a bit absurd that they would allow Men to go on the Cruise. They might as well open it up if they do that. I guess at this point I'm frustrated with the decision they made because I do know some do not feel it would be a welcoming place for them. I've heard a couple of times, "why would I support a function that is for "women" only.

06-13-2010, 11:01 PM	#19
Kosmo Member How Do You Identify?: just me Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: This seat is taken Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Buckeye Posts: 210 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 180 Thanked 274 Times in 119 Posts Rep Power: 227090	Strappie, I don't know who Olivia markets their cruises to now. I know how they initially did. They probably have a website you can check.