Open Letter: Dear Femme

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by evolveme

Yes, I absolutely own and allow that I am guilty. But again, I am seeing this as "masculine-centric" rather than simply male-centric. When we call it male-centric, we're throwing our transguys and male-id'd fellas under the bus, and it's also patently unfair because of the ways that butch women, i.e., masculine females, inherently dominate our spaces as well. Don't misread me, although I may have seemed to have a certain "side" in these debates, I do not have a "side" for/against anyone. I Love ALL of These Groups. I literally and motherfucking do.

But here are the ways I see me playing into the masculine-centrism:

- I am always on the ready to call out transphobia (usually in the form of transguyphobia) or to speak up for the way that female id'd butches are not being seen (bc I have also done this), but am less likely to call out ways that I may see femmes being denigrated.

Usually it is because I either wait for someone else to weigh in on the subject, or because I actually believe that what a particular femme has done is distasteful and does not speak to Me, Julie, This Femme. Well, so motherfucking what?

Yes, I am sometimes guilty of judging other femmes harshly.

For example, if a femme posts in a certain font (pink) and is always serving up virtual cupcakes and tea, I am less likely (read: not at all) to listen to what she has to say. I WILL skip over her. And not because the font is hard to read (it is) but because it is "too girly" and that reads as "too ridiculous."

My mind was thinking masculine centric and I typed male. I have to ponder that. I apologize.

The tea serving, maribou slipper wearing posts bother me because I feel they feed into the pleasing of the masculine.

It feels nonsensical and frustrating because to *Me* Femmes are a stand alone force worthy of so much more than an accoutrement.

[Bit]

Originally Posted by evolveme

Yes, I am sometimes guilty of judging other femmes harshly.

For example, if a femme posts in a certain font (pink) and is always serving up virtual cupcakes and tea, I am less likely (read: not at all) to listen to what she has to say. I WILL skip over her. And not because the font is hard to read (it is) but because it is "too girly" and that reads as "too ridiculous."

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

The tea serving, maribou slipper wearing posts bother me because I feel they feed into the pleasing of the masculine.

Okay, this one and then I think I'm done.... at least till after ...

Yes, it's hard to read some of the lighter colored fonts. Yes, some of those posts are way WAY girly. BUT they aren't girly in service of the masculine, they're girly as an expression of the Femmes who write them.... the girliness isn't imposed from the outside, it wells up from the inside.

And yes, there are brains behind some of that girliness that pretty much never speak an analytical thought--out loud. Doesn't mean they don't think those thoughts. I've been privileged to have sometimes read them--they're just as sharp as the rest of us.

Whether that kind of post feeds into the pleasing of the masculine.... that's trickier. I think it does, but I don't think that's the reason for the posting style... I suspect those who love girly posts would post that way if---the heavens forfend!!--there were no Butches at all, because it wells up from inside the Femmes like water from an artesian spring.

And now, indeed, before she drives me insane, lol....