Ask a trans person!

[Greyson]

Blue and Bent, good to see both of you guys here with us. I have seen you guys and Thinker around cyberspace for years and your presence is appreciated. Jet, you too. Linus thank you for starting this thread.

[Paphigleo]

Bent...

Because you put your experience out there I would like to ask if you feel you get more or less 'flack' for your genderqueer alignment than you did when ID'ing as "just Butch'?

Has it been a difficult decision to remain transitionless, or was it more of an emotional transition and self acceptance?

~pickin your brain

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Paphigleo

Bent...

Because you put your experience out there I would like to ask if you feel you get more or less 'flack' for your genderqueer alignment than you did when ID'ing as "just Butch'?

Has it been a difficult decision to remain transitionless, or was it more of an emotional transition and self acceptance?

~pickin your brain

Living a life of obvious "otherness" invites flack, and I'm going to guess I don't need to expound on that with this crowd. But is it more or less? I think it's probably about the same. There are still those same people who can't accept that which they don't understand, and those who believe embracing one's masculine nature = misogyny or self hate.

The truth about choosing not to medically or socially transition is that sometimes I read stories like these here, or see the "progress" photos and feel a kind of envy. I'm not overcome by jealousy, but rather a pang of "what if..." I sometimes envy those who can move about in public and be addressed by pronouns that feel comfortable to them, or who can try on a suit jacket and have it hang just right. Small things, I know, but these are just what immediately come to mind.

Frankly, top surgery remains a constant item on my wish list - a change I could make that would help push my internal/external selves just that much more into alignment. I think it would help me clear another hurdle of self-acceptance.

[Hudson]

First of all, what the shit is 'a trans'?

Don't call me that.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

First of all, what the shit is 'a trans'?

Don't call me that.

Ok. We won't.

Trans is a term that I've seen and have used to refer to transsexual individuals, whether MTF or FTM.

Does the term offend you? If so, I'm curious as to why?

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by Linus

Ok. We won't.

Trans is a term that I've seen and have used to refer to transsexual individuals, whether MTF or FTM.

Does the term offend you? If so, I'm curious as to why?

It's not so much offensive to me personally as it is largely offensive to transgender individuals in general.

Typically, in my personal experience, people referring to "a transgender" or "a trans" are chasers who fetishize trans people (same folks who like the term 'she-male'), who know nothing about trans issues and don't much care because they don't see trans people as people to begin with. The respectful way to refer to a trans person is just like that - "a transgendered person" or "a trans person". "Transsexual" is used more as a noun, but saying "a transsexual person" is more respectful. Or trans woman or trans man. I, personally, am not "a trans". I'm a trans person, a person who is trans, specifically a trans man. I'm a regular guy of extraordinary circumstances. Trans is not all of who I am, which is what is implied by calling someone "a trans".

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

It's not so much offensive to me personally as it is largely offensive to transgender individuals in general.

Typically, in my personal experience, people referring to "a transgender" or "a trans" are chasers who fetishize trans people (same folks who like the term 'she-male'), who know nothing about trans issues and don't much care because they don't see trans people as people to begin with. The respectful way to refer to a trans person is just like that - "a transgendered person" or "a trans person". "Transsexual" is used more as a noun, but saying "a transsexual person" is more respectful. Or trans woman or trans man. I, personally, am not "a trans". I'm a trans person, a person who is trans, specifically a trans man. I'm a regular guy of extraordinary circumstances. Trans is not all of who I am, which is what is implied by calling someone "a trans".

Interesting. I had never heard it defined in that sense and certainly makes me think more about the term. The name of the thread came from other threads that existed elsewhere (e.g., "Ask an FTM" or "Ask a MTF"). Rather than having two threads, I thought it might be better to have one and shortened it. I can ask the admin to add "person" after trans but no guarantees on whether the thread name could be changed.

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by Linus

Interesting. I had never heard it defined in that sense and certainly makes me think more about the term. The name of the thread came from other threads that existed elsewhere (e.g., "Ask an FTM" or "Ask a MTF"). Rather than having two threads, I thought it might be better to have one and shortened it. I can ask the admin to add "person" after trans but no guarantees on whether the thread name could be changed.

Thanks for the reply Linus. I know where you're coming from with the title. And I like that you have an open mind.

[atomiczombie]

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

[Jet]

Please call me Trans or transgendered. I don't ID or feel like a woman at all because that's not how I'm wired. I'll be taking steps in the near future to "complete" a little more how I feel and have felt since about the age of four.

There's been times I, myself rejected my transgender sexuality—even hated it— because it is such a difficult life when you live a dual existance tosave face and please people. I spent 11 years in seclusion trying to live as a girl.

Misery.

I've been put down and discounted by lesbians here in Atlanta because they reject masculinity of this degree. It isn't an easy life.

So to not refer to me as trans as in "TG" would only offend me.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

ditto.......

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Please call me Trans or transgendered. I don't ID or feel like a woman at all because that's not how I'm wired. I'll be taking steps in the near future to "complete" a little more how I feel and have felt since about the age of four.

There's been times I, myself rejected my transgender sexuality—even hated it— because it is such a difficult life when you live a dual existance tosave face and please people. I spent 11 years in seclusion trying to live as a girl.

Misery.

I've been put down and discounted by lesbians here in Atlanta because they reject masculinity of this degree. It isn't an easy life.

So to not refer to me as trans as in "TG" would only offend me.

You both missed my point, but ok. It's an adjective vs. verb thing. As in "Hey are you a gay?'' or "Her boyfriend's a black." Nevermind.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

It's not so much offensive to me personally as it is largely offensive to transgender individuals in general.

I'm transgendered, and not offended at all. Using certain terms is like splitting hairs... I keep it simple: trans for transgendered in my book as well as transsexual. my .02

[Andrew, Jr.]

What I have learned is that I move according to my own time, and nobody's elses. Does it really matter what my age is? No. Does it really matter if I do this or that? No. Nobody else is giving me cash to have my corrective surgery on my chest. If you want too just shoot me an email.

Everyone lives as they feel inside their heart and soul. I say why not love that? It really is just that simple.

When I am in the hospital, my doctor writes on all of my charts to call me Andrew, plus Rosie is there to make sure the nurses also do the same. Some folks can be very rude, and disrespectful. No matter what is court ordered or on my driver's license.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Andrew

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

First of all, what the shit is 'a trans'?

Don't call me that.

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

It's not so much offensive to me personally as it is largely offensive to transgender individuals in general.

Hi Ben-Her...

It *seems* that it was offensive to you....based on that initial post. No?

And I think it's kind of difficult to determine that it's "largely offensive to transgender individuals in general". Things like that........where it's kind of a semantics thing.......are difficult to gauge.

I know I wrinkled my nose a bit when I first saw the thread title, but I know Linus well enough to know he meant no harm and that he was trying to be inclusive of transmen *and* transwomen. I also know that trying to nail down terminology in this community that is acceptable to ALL is like trying to nail jello to the wall.

Impossible to do.

Respectfully,
Thinker

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

What I have learned is that I move according to my own time, and nobody's elses. Does it really matter what my age is? No. Does it really matter if I do this or that? No. Nobody else is giving me cash to have my corrective surgery on my chest. If you want too just shoot me an email.

Everyone lives as they feel inside their heart and soul. I say why not love that? It really is just that simple.

When I am in the hospital, my doctor writes on all of my charts to call me Andrew, plus Rosie is there to make sure the nurses also do the same. Some folks can be very rude, and disrespectful. No matter what is court ordered or on my driver's license.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Andrew

And if anyone is particularly generous, shoot me an email too.

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by Thinker

Hi Ben-Her...

It *seems* that it was offensive to you....based on that initial post. No?

And I think it's kind of difficult to determine that it's "largely offensive to transgender individuals in general". Things like that........where it's kind of a semantics thing.......are difficult to gauge.

I know I wrinkled my nose a bit when I first saw the thread title, but I know Linus well enough to know he meant no harm and that he was trying to be inclusive of transmen *and* transwomen. I also know that trying to nail down terminology in this community that is acceptable to ALL is like trying to nail jello to the wall.

Impossible to do.

Respectfully,
Thinker

Right, I basically said that re: Linus.

No I wasn't offended (like I said). I meant it half-jokingly. I know a whole lotta 'transes' and we's all feel the same. I thought it was pretty common knowledge to be honest. But to each his or her own.

I prefer he or him just for the record.

[Greyson]

Hi Guys. I know most of you know this stuff about me already. But for those who do not, bare with me. In my profile I use the I.D. Transmasculine Butch. In other instances I also refer to myself as a Transman, Transguy. I agree with Thinker, "It is like trying to nail jello to the wall." I know each of us have different ideas as to what certain descriptor may or man not mean. I know I am most likely going to offend someone. It is not my intention. If I do offend you, please let me know and I will stand corrected.

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

Hello and good night to you, Greyson.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Hi Guys. I know most of you know this stuff about me already. But for those who do not, bare with me. In my profile I use the I.D. Transmasculine Butch. In other instances I also refer to myself as a Transman, Transguy. I agree with Thinker, "It is like trying to nail jello to the wall." I know each of us have different ideas as to what certain descriptor may or man not mean. I know I am most likely going to offend someone. It is not my intention. If I do offend you, please let me know and I will stand corrected.

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

Why is it that we must continually dance around our sexuality either because of discrimination or by way of labeling? This past summer I had plans to go on an outing 4th of July. The person who invited me came over and said that the host of the party didn't want me there because I'm transgendered. His mother and sister were going to be there and he didn't want me to do "anything embarrassing." As if I would? But is was okay for an transitioned FTM to be there with his wife? Where does it stop? You can bet I'll damn well be me and I don't care who I offend. Because it's not me who's offensive. It's the other person's unwillingness to be respect something I was born with. I would have been gracious at the outing, but I wasn't given that chance. I'm dismayed at the prejudices within the GLBT community.