Ask a trans person!

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Gemme

That's not our experience here in central Texas. We are often called 'ladies' or 'girls' and it really grates my nerves.

And it seems most of the time that people in areas like yours are doing it as a "favor"........to say, "Hey, I see you and I'm hip to all this." Would you agree? Or do you think they're being shitty for the most part?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Thinker

And it seems most of the time that people in areas like yours are doing it as a "favor"........to say, "Hey, I see you and I'm hip to all this." Would you agree? Or do you think they're being shitty for the most part?

I do agree and I do appreciate someone making an attempt to be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem but it feels like it's like 'see how open minded and awesome I am?' instead of considering the dress, style and mannerisms of the person before you. I know it's hard to decipher gender presentation and that the wrapping, in many cases, does not determine what's in the box but how hard would it be to just cut that one word off? They could still acknowledge us by just saying 'how may I help you?" or 'do you have any further questions?' and leave it at that.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Thinker

And it seems most of the time that people in areas like yours are doing it as a "favor"........to say, "Hey, I see you and I'm hip to all this." Would you agree? Or do you think they're being shitty for the most part?

Here in California and especially in the Bay Area, people do make an effort to say ladies and ma'am and such, and I do think it's because they are trying to acknowledge me in a positive way. However, it is annoying. I can see how it is hard for not only straight people, but I have seen this with some queer folks too, to get the pronouns right. I look like a butch, not a man at this point. There are many butches who don't want to be called sir. So I can see how it can be confusing for some female-bodied masculine folks to say, "hey I'm not a sir", and people like me saying, "um, it's sir not lady". I try to be aware that a lot of people have the best of intentions when getting it wrong about my gender identity.

[greeneyedgrrl]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Here in California and especially in the Bay Area, people do make an effort to say ladies and ma'am and such, and I do think it's because they are trying to acknowledge me in a positive way. However, it is annoying. I can see how it is hard for not only straight people, but I have seen this with some queer folks too, to get the pronouns right. I look like a butch, not a man at this point. There are many butches who don't want to be called sir. So I can see how it can be confusing for some female-bodied masculine folks to say, "hey I'm not a sir", and people like me saying, "um, it's sir not lady". I try to be aware that a lot of people have the best of intentions when getting it wrong about my gender identity.

hmmm... i'm in south bay... and we have a lot of butches here, or we used to anyway (our genderqueer and trans pops seem to be growing/becoming more visible and b/f pops shrinking/becoming less visible). the butches i referred to earlier, aren't binding and they get "sir" when we go out. it's like the gen pop see the short hair and masculine dress and look no further. i like the idea of just leaving the pronouns out entirely. especially since sometimes it is hard to tell and isn't always appropriate to ask.