StepMonsters and other scary second parenting issues

[Medusa]

I have had a step-mother and 4 step-fathers.

One of my step-fathers is still in my life. Here's why:
* When my Mom married him, I was 4. He got in the floor and played Barbies with me and took me to museums. He showed an interest in me having a good childhood. Even as a child, I could feel that. He cared!

* When he disciplined me, it was firm and fair. I rarely screwed up with him because I loved him so much and respected what he asked of me. He never spanked me, hit me, or called me names.

* He refused to argue with my Mom in front of me. That made me feel safe.

* He hugged! A lot! And it wasn't creepy!

* Even after they divorced, he made an effort to be in my life. He is my Brother's Dad so when he would come pick my Brother up for visitation, he would ask my Mom if he could take me too so that "the kids can be together". She never allowed it but he did try. He also sent gifts to me at Christmas. When I was old enough to drive, I would go to see him about once a month and he was always overjoyed to see me.

I think it takes a lot of courage and patience to co-parent a child who isn't yours and applaud those who are doing it (and doing it WELL!)