Female Bodies Across Gender Identities

[Darth Denkay]

I feel infinitely safer in the men's room instead of the women's room. I can't go in a women's room without, at the least, stares and angry looks. More times than not hateful things are said. Now, all of this I could handle. But I've been verbally and physically threatened, pulled out twice by security. The women's room does not feel safe to me.

I have never - and I do mean never - had even a sliver of trouble using the men's room. It seems as though men go in the restroom, do their thing, don't talk or look at anyone, and leave. Women go in and tend to look at others there. Because of the odd phenomenon of women going to the restroom in herds there are often folks hanging around inside waiting for their friends, carrying on conversations. Also, women spend time in there primping and such. It seems as though it's pretty much a guarantee that in the women's room someone will look at me and I will be hassled to some degree while in the men's room no one pays a bit of attention. For me, the men's restroom feels safer than the women's restroom.

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

I've heard about and seen men direct their most potent sexual aggression against masculine women. Butches are perceived as gender transgressors and have been the object of violence and sexual violence as a result. I have no trouble imagining some of my co-workers feeling a need to show a trangressively masculine woman that she's still a woman after all, and that he can still violate her. This is one important way in which our female bodies, no matter whether those bodies belong to very feminine or very masculine people, put us at similar risk. I'm mystified about why a masculine, female bodied person would invite the risk of men's sexual aggression by sharing really vulnerable space, such as bathrooms, with them. Am I the only person here who has to deal with male sexual aggression, or is it just so common that no one else feels the need to mention it?