Female Bodies Across Gender Identities

Dragonfly · 01-11-2010, 06:10 AM

I am sorry that my thoughts were taken that way. I am sorry you were bothered by the way I worded my thoughts. I was not saying gay women or men DO perv on each other but was thinking so logically that I did not realize it may cause uncomfort to anyone. I was actually thinking about my own feelings in said "female" bathrooms and dressing rooms. I am so sorry to be in there that I think it shows to the others in there. I look down a lot in the bathrooms or away from people coming in and out.

Dressing rooms are harder because the curtain ones. I prefer doors. I AM looked at like I AM perving by the other ladies going in and out, but really only when I am dressed in obviously male marketed clothing and trying on more obviously male marketed items. I AM NOT perving of course. And I really dont like the thought of anyone of any gender or sexuality imposing their eyes were they are not invited to look.

I was exploring the separation of genders and the why's that various genders and sexualities may WANT separate privacy places. If I am uncomfortable being in there, I imagine the other people may be as- or more- uncomfortable having me in there. I only meant that society is "putting up with" same sexualities being in places together but not wanting to mix genders.

Oh and I have never had a prob using the men's dressing rooms by the sales clerks or the men using them. I personally dont feel comfy dressing in some of them, (esp ones unsupervised and off in the corner of a large store) but it is easier on everyone's comfort if I do. I'd rather be the one uncomfortable than make the little old ladies feel uncomfortable when they can't tell if I am a man or woman in there.

Ooo I also love the Salvation Army and Thrift Stores dressing rooms because they are single rooms and non gendered. Some of our gay clubs nearby have a third restroom or non gendered restrooms. I love that and never feel uncomfy or like I am seen as some perv in my own community. I assume they "get it" and dont think twice about it.

It seems like it is individuals on a power trip that are using it as an excuse to discriminate and hurt rather than serve said customer.

And yes those two places are sometimes abused by the criminal behavior of a sexual intrusive nature, and I always cover the floor drains with my foot before going pee. lol. I saw that hidden camera crap on the news.

Jess · 01-11-2010, 07:08 AM

Seems a shame to have to think so much just to take a piss. I would prefer to have non gender specific full closure "stalls" in public facilities. Perhaps men and women ( and all variations ) would be forced to be a tad more courteous.. ie: not pissing on seats.. not hogging sink to do make up... I see using the restroom in public as a necessity, not some field trip or a place to "pick up" folks. I leave that for erotica fantasy. LOL!
As for changing rooms, I actually very rarely try something on. Either it fits ( great!) or it doesn't and I take it back.

Bit · 01-11-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amelia

I am sorry that my thoughts were taken that way. I am sorry you were bothered by the way I worded my thoughts. I was not saying gay women or men DO perv on each other but was thinking so logically that I did not realize it may cause uncomfort to anyone. I was actually thinking about my own feelings in said "female" bathrooms and dressing rooms. I am so sorry to be in there that I think it shows to the others in there. I look down a lot in the bathrooms or away from people coming in and out.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Amelia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You don't owe me any apologies, sweetheart. It was very obvious that you were following a logical line of thought, and you were correct; society is very quick to keep men and women separated in dressing rooms as if we are all heterosexual.

Just because you said something that I responded to with discomfort doesn't mean that you did anything wrong---nor does it mean that I thought YOU believed it was okay. I completely understood that you were being logical, and analyzing the situation, and that it bothered you too.

I hope you understand that. You did not attack or hurt me in any way--you just happened to say something that pushed a big button for me. I'm sorry if my response made you feel bad in any way; I didn't intend it to.

01-11-2010, 06:10 AM	#1
Dragonfly Member How Do You Identify?: Queersexual Female Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: smiling real big Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: My Own House Illinois Posts: 330 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 871 Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts Rep Power: 645438	Perving is not ok... I am sorry that my thoughts were taken that way. I am sorry you were bothered by the way I worded my thoughts. I was not saying gay women or men DO perv on each other but was thinking so logically that I did not realize it may cause uncomfort to anyone. I was actually thinking about my own feelings in said "female" bathrooms and dressing rooms. I am so sorry to be in there that I think it shows to the others in there. I look down a lot in the bathrooms or away from people coming in and out. Dressing rooms are harder because the curtain ones. I prefer doors. I AM looked at like I AM perving by the other ladies going in and out, but really only when I am dressed in obviously male marketed clothing and trying on more obviously male marketed items. I AM NOT perving of course. And I really dont like the thought of anyone of any gender or sexuality imposing their eyes were they are not invited to look. I was exploring the separation of genders and the why's that various genders and sexualities may WANT separate privacy places. If I am uncomfortable being in there, I imagine the other people may be as- or more- uncomfortable having me in there. I only meant that society is "putting up with" same sexualities being in places together but not wanting to mix genders. Oh and I have never had a prob using the men's dressing rooms by the sales clerks or the men using them. I personally dont feel comfy dressing in some of them, (esp ones unsupervised and off in the corner of a large store) but it is easier on everyone's comfort if I do. I'd rather be the one uncomfortable than make the little old ladies feel uncomfortable when they can't tell if I am a man or woman in there. Ooo I also love the Salvation Army and Thrift Stores dressing rooms because they are single rooms and non gendered. Some of our gay clubs nearby have a third restroom or non gendered restrooms. I love that and never feel uncomfy or like I am seen as some perv in my own community. I assume they "get it" and dont think twice about it. It seems like it is individuals on a power trip that are using it as an excuse to discriminate and hurt rather than serve said customer. And yes those two places are sometimes abused by the criminal behavior of a sexual intrusive nature, and I always cover the floor drains with my foot before going pee. lol. I saw that hidden camera crap on the news. __________________ Stay Gold.

01-11-2010, 07:08 AM	#2
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts Rep Power: 0	Seems a shame to have to think so much just to take a piss. I would prefer to have non gender specific full closure "stalls" in public facilities. Perhaps men and women ( and all variations ) would be forced to be a tad more courteous.. ie: not pissing on seats.. not hogging sink to do make up... I see using the restroom in public as a necessity, not some field trip or a place to "pick up" folks. I leave that for erotica fantasy. LOL! As for changing rooms, I actually very rarely try something on. Either it fits ( great!) or it doesn't and I take it back.