PTSD and Trauma recovery

Canela · 01-29-2010, 11:05 PM

I was a major depressant (clinically depressed) for almost 25 years. I tried all types of drugs and alcohol to self medicate the pain and abuse I endured as a child, teen and adult. I learned much later, that I chose the same type of people because it was old and familiar and the abuse which I hated but knew all too well was comfortable. Made me feel like home. Crazy huh? I had to find a way out of that vicious cycle when I had my children, thinking I could change their outcome. We have had to fight those struggles together, my children and I, but I thank God everyday that we have hope. It was hard, is hard somedays more than others. But we stand and fight most days. I wish I could say that I NEVER get depressed anymore but that would be a lie. I can tell you that I don't stay depressed, and that it has been such a relief to deal with things sober. It was not hard to give up the drugs and alcohol. It was harder to give up the thought processes, habits and hurts that kept me imprisoned in my own mind with that pain. It has no hold on me anymore, Praise God! And now I try to do my part to help others have hope, too. God bless you and heal you all!

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01-29-2010, 11:05 PM	#11
Canela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babe, she, her, ella Relationship Status: Well loved… Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 2,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,643 Thanked 6,505 Times in 1,694 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I was a major depressant (clinically depressed) for almost 25 years. I tried all types of drugs and alcohol to self medicate the pain and abuse I endured as a child, teen and adult. I learned much later, that I chose the same type of people because it was old and familiar and the abuse which I hated but knew all too well was comfortable. Made me feel like home. Crazy huh? I had to find a way out of that vicious cycle when I had my children, thinking I could change their outcome. We have had to fight those struggles together, my children and I, but I thank God everyday that we have hope. It was hard, is hard somedays more than others. But we stand and fight most days. I wish I could say that I NEVER get depressed anymore but that would be a lie. I can tell you that I don't stay depressed, and that it has been such a relief to deal with things sober. It was not hard to give up the drugs and alcohol. It was harder to give up the thought processes, habits and hurts that kept me imprisoned in my own mind with that pain. It has no hold on me anymore, Praise God! And now I try to do my part to help others have hope, too. God bless you and heal you all!