Single Butches & Femmes Cafe

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

Originally Posted by Inuus

It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell.

I find the same thing here in Arkansas. I will see someone at the store, for example, wearing what ==I== would consider more "butch" attire, but oftentimes it is just a more 'country' look from straight women.

As for women being dressed "as if they are or have been working on the ranch" not "looking" like a femme, I have a question... I know there has been stuff on other threads about what being a femme means... I know with every cell of my being I AM a femme. Do I look the part of the magazine-cover femme? (is there one?). Nope, I don't. My preferred outfit each day is shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. I have short, spikey hair cause it lets me feel like I can have an ATTITUDE that kicks ass. And at the age of 59, I need all the 'tude I can get! I don't know, maybe I really AM more androgynous in looks, who cares? I think for ME, the important thing is what is inside, how I alone identify ME. I know that the ME of me is soft, loving, caring, eager to please, nurturing, bawdy, sensitive, and lots of other really cool things. AND I love football and fishing!

Maybe this issue here is the fact that it is sometimes hard to pinpoint whether someone is actually butch or femme (or gay for that matter!), and therefore harder to know whether one can approach or view the other as a possible mate. I know for me, my gaydar is all out of whack!

I also have a problem sometimes with thinking that all the butch women that are out there are going to be too young for me. My partners have all been younger than me from between 9-13 yrs younger. The 13 yr difference was really pushing it, but maybe it was just her.