Single Butches & Femmes Cafe

[ScandalAndy]

I'm having a thought......... I'm thinking femmes outnumber butches on this site (and in real life). Anybody else feel this way? Does anyone else think it makes femme friendships harder to form since there's this kind of "competition for resources" thing going on?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

I'm having a thought......... I'm thinking femmes outnumber butches on this site (and in real life). Anybody else feel this way? Does anyone else think it makes femme friendships harder to form since there's this kind of "competition for resources" thing going on?

I personally do not feel "competitive" with other femmes. My friendships and connections with femmes are very important to me.

Do I occasionally feel a twinge because I am not 35-40 any more, yes, I would have to be honest about that and say yes but I feel that way about younger butches as well as femmes.

Actually, where I work, there is the cutest damn butch ever, just her young face gives her away as a girl. Whenever we go up in the elevator together I have a mantra in my head: god, if I was only 20 years younger! She is just that cute

[msW8ing]

Andy..of course femme's outnumber butches in the gay community..just as in the hetro community women outnumber men...well except in Alaska lol...no I don't feel any kind of competition because my taste is not the same as my friends..we hunt for one another because we know one anothers taste lol...I know here in Phoenix you can't throw a dead rat without hitting a femme lol ....but I'm not just your usual run of the mill femme..my friends classify me as an ultimate femme lmao. And Anya no you may not be in your 30's anymore but doll...every year you age so do they..lol..there are many older butches and I'm thankful for that. Older is so hawt lol.

[ruthie14]

Wow... really? Here it is mostly a lot of tweeners and butches. I am one of a very few femmes. Unfortunatley the butches here are either not interested in me, or I in them. Sooooo.. looking outside my scope of friends to see what happens. Although, that can be a scary thing. Taking it easy, if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't ... I'll just be patient.

Ruthie

[msW8ing]

ruthie I feel your pain..I'm into Old School Dykes and they are a rare breed for sure. Almost extinct I fear. But I hold hope.

[alphadaddy]

we're still here although at times would want to be invisible or hide behind a disquise that allows us to belong nonetheless we are still here

[ScandalAndy]

Thank you all for your responses!! I feel like I'm in a city where everyone looks the same. Because I do not, I often feel shunned. The butch types all wear their fitted caps sideways and look like hipsters, the femmes all have long hair that they flat iron, and look like hipsters. Granted, these are the 21-30 year olds that I see out. I'm a big old pinup femme and that is totally different from them. Unfortch there aren't any butches to counter that style, so sometimes I get discouraged.

Anya/MsW8ing: On the flip side of that coin, a lot of older butches won't date me because I am "so young". So there are defs butch types that are looking for you ladies that I haven't got a chance with.

I find myself having difficulty making friends with femmes around my age because we like the same people. For instance I just found out that the same girl has been flirting with me and one of my friends that goes to college here. Luckily my friend is awesome and we were able to talk about this like adults, but i've had bad experiences where sometimes a girl will stab me in the back to get the butch to like her.

For the record, everyone at BFP has been wonderful and friendly and accepting to me, even the butches who told me I was too young were quite gentle about it.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by MsW8ing

...I know here in Phoenix you can't throw a dead rat without hitting a femme lol ....

REALLY??? Cause that hasn't been my experience since I've lived here, nor has it been the experience of other butches and femmes that I've spoken with that live or have lived here. They have expressed, and I agree, that the butch/femme community is almost non-existent in and around Phoenix. There is a HUGE lesbian population, but I've encountered less than a handful of women that identify as "femme".