Struggling to come to terms......

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Strappie

So some things are that I think some would like to know is...

At what age did you start to come to terms with things (meaning started to think things were different and needed possibly a lifestyle change?).....

What was your situation at that time.... married or single

What gender were you with at that time...

What were some of the hard thought struggles...

GREAT thread!!! I do think it is a wonderful idea to put this out there in the world. I wish i had had ONE single person to hear me, to know what i was going through. We don't know who may stop by and who may find some comfort hearing a story similar to their own....


This one is two-fold for me. When i first knew and when i decided to do something about it....

I first thought something was different around age 6 when a little boy that girls just "swooned over" put his arm around me and i remember thinking "i wish you were a girl". I knew i was different then. I hid it and pushed it back and denied those feelings for a long, long time.

I married a bio male at 18 because that is what was expected. Shortly after had kids and lived a seemingly hetero life but i was just miserable. Spring forward 15 years....i put myself through school, worked full time doing so and took care of my boys. Six months after graduating college, i filed for divorce. He didn't really seem to mind cause we had turned into just a friendship for many years anyway. I knew i could no longer hide who i was at least to myself and i knew i deserved happiness like other people had. I wanted it, and i went for it.

There were some really dark times in that 15 years of hiding and many nights i went to sleep on the couch so lost crying into a pillow with little hope...so alone and so devastated that i couldn't find the strength to pull myself out of this situation that i knew was wrong for me.

This song, in particular, got me through it a LOT of days and nights. It was my anthem and gave me such strength. I would play it over and over and even sing it in the shower....

Major hugs to anyone going through bad times in their lives...please reach out to someone. MANY of us have been there...take a breath and HOLD ON!!!!!!