Eating Disorders ~

[sylvie]

This week, i had to make a couple of changes to my POE (plan of eating)..

- Crackers ... It's been hard to admit this but i have zero control over crackers of any kind.. While i don't binge them in one sitting, i do pick at them through the day, enough so i notice the package or box all finished come the end of the day.. When i binged, i could easily have eaten 2-3 packages and not thought anything of it, and so while i'm not eating the amount i was, it's still a high amount and i could feel myself getting back to old behaviors by doing so..

i can really relate with how easy it would be to relapse.. i hear of people talking about relapsing and having to work the steps and the program all over again.. When i would eat the crackers, i would grab four and eat them but stuff another few someplace so i could grab at them easily... Then in a couple of hours, i would do the same thing.. again, then again.. sigh.. The crunch and salt of them of course help me with my potato chip cravings.. But, what i wasn't recognizing was that i continue to have these cravings, because of this behavior.. So, i've added snack crackers, soda crackers and ritz crackers to my abstinence list.. Actually, any crackers, period.. A lot of days i might be strong enough *not* to do this, but.. the fact i did, and kept myself in denial is why i had to stop..

- Also, yogurt.. the dessert selections yogurts.. a little higher in sugar, but ohhhh i only had one and spent 3 days craving some serious sugar... Back to regular flavored yogurts for me.. i just can't handle those at all..

- Lastly, back to portioning and measuring and working on *not* obsessing the numbers.. However, i know that portioning and measuring is healthy if i stay in the right mindframe about it.. When i don't measure and portion my foods, i fall off track too often with the amounts i'm eating, and my behaviors start again from the overeating..i find myself craving more, and wanting to purge more.. Everyday lately, i have been fighting off the urge to purge.. It makes me crazy when i feel i overeat and have that "food hangover" feeling, and i can't purge it.. So this is something that helps me keep that at bay..

And something else that works for me, is always.. always ..pre-planning my meals the day before..