June Cleaver : Femme Friend or Femme Foe

julieisafemme · 10-26-2012, 10:24 PM

I don't identify with June Cleaver as a femme. If I had to pick a TV character to identify my femmeness it would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also don't like it when people lament for the old days. I like to be in the present.

I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver household. Except June smoked cigarettes all day and drank coffee and sometimes seemed depressed. My Mom is a lady. That is the best word I can think of to describe her. There are many things about her that I strive to be as a mother and a woman.

My relationship dynamic is very much like yours Femmesational. I would not describe it as 50s or June Cleaver though. I also do not see it as heteronormative although it might appear to be. That's ok with me if someone sees it that way. So Julie you asked how do we talk about this without making people upset or having a history lesson? I think referencing a time in history that is problematic might be causing the problem. So how do we define it? I don't have a good answer except to say that it is what makes me feel safe and loved.

I agree with Martina about not separating ourselves from other women as femmes. One of the most wonderful, liberating aspects of being a femme to me is is that I stand with all women, butch, femme, straight or what have you. I did not feel that way before. Maybe it is because I know myself better now? I don't know. All I know is that I am so unbelievably grateful and blessed to have these kinds of conversations with women now.

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10-26-2012, 10:24 PM	#11
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I don't identify with June Cleaver as a femme. If I had to pick a TV character to identify my femmeness it would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also don't like it when people lament for the old days. I like to be in the present. I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver household. Except June smoked cigarettes all day and drank coffee and sometimes seemed depressed. My Mom is a lady. That is the best word I can think of to describe her. There are many things about her that I strive to be as a mother and a woman. My relationship dynamic is very much like yours Femmesational. I would not describe it as 50s or June Cleaver though. I also do not see it as heteronormative although it might appear to be. That's ok with me if someone sees it that way. So Julie you asked how do we talk about this without making people upset or having a history lesson? I think referencing a time in history that is problematic might be causing the problem. So how do we define it? I don't have a good answer except to say that it is what makes me feel safe and loved. I agree with Martina about not separating ourselves from other women as femmes. One of the most wonderful, liberating aspects of being a femme to me is is that I stand with all women, butch, femme, straight or what have you. I did not feel that way before. Maybe it is because I know myself better now? I don't know. All I know is that I am so unbelievably grateful and blessed to have these kinds of conversations with women now.