PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Wow, great thread. I have not had time to really read through it, but from what little I have read, I am relating to a LOT of folks. Thank you all for sharing on here, that is always a very brave thing to do, even if it is "just" online..

Now, about me.. I am a child abuse survivor. The sexual abuse went on for the first 3 to 4 years of my life and I still have emotional issues with relationships due to it, mostly equating sex with love, and the feeling that if there isn't sex, this person doesn't REALLY love me.. That is something that I am aware of and make my partners aware of, and I talk it out. Doesn't make it go away, but it helps.

More recently, I was a first responder to someone that got stabbed. I am not an EMT or a professional, but I was there when it happened and applied pressure to his wound. There was a LOT of blood and the guy that stabbed him (turned out to be his boyfriend), was there too, with his hands over mine. I didn't realize what was going on with the two, only that the victim was very upset and kept telling the other guy to go away. This all happened a week ago, but it seems MUCH longer ago for some reason.

Since then I have been showing some really signs of PTSD.. The insomnia and recalling the event are strongest, but the hyper awareness is there too.. It happened right outside of my place of work, so I recall it when ever I come in and late at night when I'm walking home. I have even drawn up in defensive stance when co-workers have startled me. It's weird to be on automatic like this.. But talking about it has helped a LOT. I have friends here with me that are a huge help.

Thank you all again for your responses to this thread and thank you for starting it in the first place.

In Light,
Tony

ps- the victim is alive now and the suspect is in jail, facing trial..

So glad to know that the victim is OK.

It is amazing how when we think we have done the work and are all better something can happen and send us right back into full blown PTSD or meltdown mode (as I call it). The hyper awareness, the startle response.

I don't know the answer, my therapist says that the body learns ways of keeping us safe and it kicks in when it feels threatened and overrides all our best intentions.

So sorry you are experiencing this. Know that we are here if you need to vent or share!

Hugs,

Jen