Changing last names

[imperfect_cupcake]

Thing is Bulldog, even though I'm a lesbian, changing my name *has* always been a question for me. And I think that *does* have to do with being a femme.
So the question has always been "if I get married, am I going to change my name??"
Not "is my partner going to want my name?" or "I'd be honoured if she took my name"

this is what I'm kind of trying to point at.

ETA I'm not trying to call anyone a bad person. It's just I'm trying to point out something like.... and I'm not using this to campre with racism but as a similar concept of "unpacking" .... I never thought about why there was no brown band aides. that doesn't mean I'm evil. It means, I've never had to think about it. I'm just trying to show some differences in assumed thought processes.

am I saying this clearly? can someone help me? I feel I'm not being clear.