PTSD and Trauma recovery

Andrew, Jr. · 05-08-2010, 11:53 AM

This afternoon I received a phone call from my bio-mother. I am just shocked, horrified, and all the other words you can lump in there. For the most part I tend to ignore my bio-parents at all costs. I talk to them briefly, and see them maybe once a year (if at all). They have ignored me, and now that they are elderly...it seems that they are needy of me. No. I just cannot do that. It is like for years and years they made a point of it to ignore my birthday, holidays, and everything else going on in my life. And now that they realize that they are knocking the door to the other side - it just dawned on them that they need to fix the damage that they have caused. I say no to that, and walk away. I am just way too bitter.

Yes, I am a forgiving man. I am very forgiving. In fact, I can and have turned the cheek to help them out, drive them to doctor appointments, the grocery store, shopping, and so on. However when they cross the line of belittling me, Rosie, my healthcare issues, and insulting everything about me, no. I have to just draw the line and say no. It's abuse, and I am stopping it dead in it's tracks. That is just nuts. No doubt about it. All I can do is pray for them.

No matter what I do or say, nothing changes with my parents and their behavior. They need to get a grip on life and living honestly. I am so disappointed and let down by them.

friskyfemme · 05-08-2010, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

This afternoon I received a phone call from my bio-mother. I am just shocked, horrified, and all the other words you can lump in there. For the most part I tend to ignore my bio-parents at all costs. I talk to them briefly, and see them maybe once a year (if at all). They have ignored me, and now that they are elderly...it seems that they are needy of me. No. I just cannot do that. It is like for years and years they made a point of it to ignore my birthday, holidays, and everything else going on in my life. And now that they realize that they are knocking the door to the other side - it just dawned on them that they need to fix the damage that they have caused. I say no to that, and walk away. I am just way too bitter.

Yes, I am a forgiving man. I am very forgiving. In fact, I can and have turned the cheek to help them out, drive them to doctor appointments, the grocery store, shopping, and so on. However when they cross the line of belittling me, Rosie, my healthcare issues, and insulting everything about me, no. I have to just draw the line and say no. It's abuse, and I am stopping it dead in it's tracks. That is just nuts. No doubt about it. All I can do is pray for them.

No matter what I do or say, nothing changes with my parents and their behavior. They need to get a grip on life and living honestly. I am so disappointed and let down by them.

Andrew,
You and I have a similiar situation. As I have said, I grew up with an abusive, narsicistic, authoritarian, alcoholic dad. In his entire lifetime I avoided him and never forgave him. It was the only empowerment I had with him until he died.

Somethings we heal from; others we shield ourselves from to survive. Do that which is better for you.

Andrew, Jr. · 05-08-2010, 07:02 PM

FF,

I think & believe you are so right. Thank you. Today just he, my father, set me off. Big time. I haven't felt so much rage in such a long time, and it really was strange. I am very very peaceful. I practice peace. I talk of peace. And yet today...I let myself down. I just am not myself because of my father. He finds enjoyment in my rage.

05-08-2010, 11:53 AM	#1
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	This afternoon I received a phone call from my bio-mother. I am just shocked, horrified, and all the other words you can lump in there. For the most part I tend to ignore my bio-parents at all costs. I talk to them briefly, and see them maybe once a year (if at all). They have ignored me, and now that they are elderly...it seems that they are needy of me. No. I just cannot do that. It is like for years and years they made a point of it to ignore my birthday, holidays, and everything else going on in my life. And now that they realize that they are knocking the door to the other side - it just dawned on them that they need to fix the damage that they have caused. I say no to that, and walk away. I am just way too bitter. Yes, I am a forgiving man. I am very forgiving. In fact, I can and have turned the cheek to help them out, drive them to doctor appointments, the grocery store, shopping, and so on. However when they cross the line of belittling me, Rosie, my healthcare issues, and insulting everything about me, no. I have to just draw the line and say no. It's abuse, and I am stopping it dead in it's tracks. That is just nuts. No doubt about it. All I can do is pray for them. No matter what I do or say, nothing changes with my parents and their behavior. They need to get a grip on life and living honestly. I am so disappointed and let down by them.

05-08-2010, 07:02 PM	#3
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	FF, I think & believe you are so right. Thank you. Today just he, my father, set me off. Big time. I haven't felt so much rage in such a long time, and it really was strange. I am very very peaceful. I practice peace. I talk of peace. And yet today...I let myself down. I just am not myself because of my father. He finds enjoyment in my rage.