Femme Invisibility?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by girlin2une

I am just curious how my fellow femmes maintain their own queer identities...

I don't identify as queer.

In the same way that a lot of younger folks (or older) do not identify as a lesbian for their own personal reasons, I just don't feel comfortable calling myself queer.

I am a lesbian.

I will always be a lesbian.

On occasion, I have been known to call myself a dyke but it doesn't roll off my tongue in the same way lesbian does, either.

I don't care if someone else ID's as queer because I have no right to impose my own identity on someone else.

I ask only for the same respect in turn and for others to understand how much my identity means to me.

I fought too hard, for too long, to own lesbian for myself and to develop a level of comfort with the fact that I am a lesbian.

I love women. I fall in love with women. I am only sexually attracted to women.

I wish that it were easier for butch lesbians to look at me and to know that I am a lesbian femme but whether the world sees me as such or not; it will never change that it is my identity.

I maintain it by living it, no matter how the world feels about me. I can't do or be anything else.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I don't identify as queer.

In the same way that a lot of younger folks (or older) do not identify as a lesbian for their own personal reasons, I just don't feel comfortable calling myself queer.

I am a lesbian.

I will always be a lesbian.

On occasion, I have been known to call myself a dyke but it doesn't roll off my tongue in the same way lesbian does, either.

I don't care if someone else ID's as queer because I have no right to impose my own identity on someone else.

I ask only for the same respect in turn and for others to understand how much my identity means to me.

I fought too hard, for too long, to own lesbian for myself and to develop a level of comfort with the fact that I am a lesbian.

I love women. I fall in love with women. I am only sexually attracted to women.

I wish that it were easier for butch lesbians to look at me and to know that I am a lesbian femme but whether the world sees me as such or not; it will never change that it is my identity.

I maintain it by living it, no matter how the world feels about me. I can't do or be anything else.

My feelings exactly. This bears repeating.

I'm emphatically a lesbian, a lesbian feminist, a dyke, a bad-ass biker, plus a lot more. But I'm not queer. Being called queer has come to really annoy me. I still think it's a fighting word, especially in the mouths of straight dudes.

Yes, I ardently maintain my femme lesbian identity.

[girlin2une]

No offense was intended with my use of the word "queer"...

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by girlin2une

No offense was intended with my use of the word "queer"...

None taken. I'm just sensitive to the presumption that we all must use 'queer' to describe ourselves now.