Stone Butches

[Lyte]

You're not kidding! Seems like... back in the day... titles / labels / whatever ... had pretty discrete definitions. Now... if you offer up a title / label / whatever it becomes a whole discussion. lol <-- not a bad thing but ya know...

Originally Posted by StoicStone

Everything seems to be a bit more fluid these days and I am no longer sure what exactly stone can be defined as, or even if sexuality can be defined and labeled at all.

See now... back in my day (just meaning in my neck o' woods)... I only knew of stone butches. Only in the last couple of years have I learned about stone femmes! Who knew?! BUT ... in the case of a stone femme ... they can go either way (so to speak!) in that they may have no desire to penetrate OR have no desire to be penetrated!

Sexuality has definitely become UBER fluid!

Originally Posted by StoicStone

...and the femme had no desire to penetrate anyone.

[Stone-Butch]

I totally agree with Stoyc .

I read Stone Butch Blues and also met Leslie in Buffalo at one of her meets. My book is signed by her "In memory of Stonewall". She was a wonderful speaker and had quite a crowd. She is sorely missed by all that were touched by her words. RIP Leslie.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Lyte

See now... back in my day (just meaning in my neck o' woods)... I only knew of stone butches. Only in the last couple of years have I learned about stone femmes! Who knew?! BUT ... in the case of a stone femme ... they can go either way (so to speak!) in that they may have no desire to penetrate OR have no desire to be penetrated!

I was told that that was difference between a Stone Femme and a Stonefemme.

[BullDog]

For me stone means constant so relating fluid to stone doesn't resonate with me at all, but to each their own.

[StoicStone]

Originally Posted by BullDog

For me stone means constant so relating fluid to stone doesn't resonate with me at all, but to each their own.

To me it has always been a constant as well, but things seem different among the younger generations. I think they feel a need to define things in a way that is more specifically personal for the way they feel about their sexuality and gender identity. My generation was extremely naive in comparison. I don't think it ever occurred to us to explore the diversity of emotional gender, we just accepted (or rejected) the labels already in place without question.
Life used to be a box of chocolates, now it is a bag of skittles.

However, when I stated that things were more fluid I didn't really mean that stone is fluid, I just meant that gender ID and sexuality in general is more fluid than in the old days. Young people are far more informed about sexuality and feel comfortable exploring gender ID and redefining labels or creating new ones. In the old days we were far too busy trying to avoid being arrested for not wearing three articles of clothing associated with our biological gender. lol

I should also state that there is nothing wrong with just identifying as lesbian, nor is there anything wrong with not identifying s butch or femme. No one way of identifying is better or worse than another. I think what you feel you are is what you are and we should embrace and celebrate the diversity in the GLBT community.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Well of course! It just struck me funny how that conversation might go...

Her: I'm a stone femme

Me: Oh... uh ... so... is that with the space or without the space?

Her: Sorry? *looking confused*

Me: Well... ya know... is that... capitol S space capitol F? Or... just capital S ... no space.

Her: *looking more confused*

Me: Ya know... penetration good *makes goofy happy happy face* ... or penetration bad?? *makes exaggerated sad face*

*waitress overhears, turns and walks slowly away from our table*

Her: Umm... I'm going to powder my nose ... I'll be right back. *looking a little nervous*

Me: Oh sure... certainly... *oblivious*

*Her leaves table... heads towards restroom and then darts the opposite direction out of the restaurant*


Yes, these are the things that amuse me.

*falls over laughing

How about saving that conversation for the second date?

You know, I buck the system anyway. Technically, according to everything I learned about Stonefemme and Stone Femme, I should be Stonefemme but I don't like the way that looks in writing, so I say Stone Femme. Because of grammar.

Whatcha gonna do with THAT?

It's a good thing I'm already taken cuz there might not be hope for me.

Originally Posted by StoicStone

To me it has always been a constant as well, but things seem different among the younger generations. I think they feel a need to define things in a way that is more specifically personal for the way they feel about their sexuality and gender identity. My generation was extremely naive in comparison. I don't think it ever occurred to us to explore the diversity of emotional gender, we just accepted (or rejected) the labels already in place without question.
Life used to be a box of chocolates, now it is a bag of skittles.

However, when I stated that things were more fluid I didn't really mean that stone is fluid, I just meant that gender ID and sexuality in general is more fluid than in the old days. Young people are far more informed about sexuality and feel comfortable exploring gender ID and redefining labels or creating new ones. In the old days we were far too busy trying to avoid being arrested for not wearing three articles of clothing associated with our biological gender. lol

I should also state that there is nothing wrong with just identifying as lesbian, nor is there anything wrong with not identifying s butch or femme. No one way of identifying is better or worse than another. I think what you feel you are is what you are and we should embrace and celebrate the diversity in the GLBT community.

I agree with this. Plus it's the 'me, me, me' generation now, so I think that plays into it too.

For the record, I'm totally stealing this -----> "Life used to be a box of chocolates, now it is a bag of skittles."

Priceless!

[Lyte]

I dunno!! lol Maybe I'd be the one dartin' outta the restaurant!

Originally Posted by Gemme

Whatcha gonna do with THAT?

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by StoicStone

To me it has always been a constant as well, but things seem different among the younger generations. I think they feel a need to define things in a way that is more specifically personal for the way they feel about their sexuality and gender identity. My generation was extremely naive in comparison. I don't think it ever occurred to us to explore the diversity of emotional gender, we just accepted (or rejected) the labels already in place without question.
Life used to be a box of chocolates, now it is a bag of skittles.

However, when I stated that things were more fluid I didn't really mean that stone is fluid, I just meant that gender ID and sexuality in general is more fluid than in the old days. Young people are far more informed about sexuality and feel comfortable exploring gender ID and redefining labels or creating new ones. In the old days we were far too busy trying to avoid being arrested for not wearing three articles of clothing associated with our biological gender. lol

I should also state that there is nothing wrong with just identifying as lesbian, nor is there anything wrong with not identifying s butch or femme. No one way of identifying is better or worse than another. I think what you feel you are is what you are and we should embrace and celebrate the diversity in the GLBT community.

Yes it's nice that the younger generations have more room to explore gender and sexuality in some ways. I have also seen stone discussed for some as something that is fluid for them, or they are stone-in-the-moment. To me the very essence of stone is its constancy, and I am very happy to be that way rather than fluid - even if that is all the rage, lol. For those who have a different personal definition of stone and what it means to them than I do that's perfectly fine.

I am really happy to be a dominant stone butch Daddy partnered with a submissive stone femme and have our old school dynamic. I was just talking to my girl yesterday about it. Our roles are "set in stone" and we are very happy that way, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for spontaneity or personal and relationship growth.

[Lyte]

Wait... what??? So... "Touch me!" and "Don't touch me!" are separated by a wee lil space??? lol

Okay... so... if I meet I gal who's femme and stone ... I'll be sure to have her write it out.... so I'll know which one she means.

I'm not laughing in your direction Gemme! I'm just laughing us... humans... we're so complicated and funny! Particularly when it comes to sex!

Originally Posted by Gemme

I was told that that was difference between a Stone Femme and a Stonefemme.

[BullDog]

I think the distinction between Stone Femme and Stonefemme could be useful, but it doesn't seem to me that everyone uses them and/or distinguishes between them in the same way. I've seen both used by femmes who partner with stone butches.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Wait... what??? So... "Touch me!" and "Don't touch me!" are separated by a wee lil space??? lol

Okay... so... if I meet I gal who's femme and stone ... I'll be sure to have her write it out.... so I'll know which one she means.

I'm not laughing in your direction Gemme! I'm just laughing us... humans... we're so complicated and funny! Particularly when it comes to sex!

Are you kidding? You know what difference a COMMA makes? It's life changing!

Example:

Let's eat, Grandma!

or

Let's eat Grandma!

[~ocean]

I am a stone femme ~ I love penetration , I don't have a desire to penetrate my lover. Everyone is different. We all just have different desires.~

[Lyte]

You are so right!

My thought was ... it's two very different meanings with (essentially) the same name... when spoken. Which is why I said I'd have to have the gal write down her preference. Iol Written down... then I'd know if she was with a space or without a space femme.

Originally Posted by Gemme

Are you kidding? You know what difference a COMMA makes? It's life changing!

Example:

Let's eat, Grandma!

or

Let's eat Grandma!