The Psychology of Online Dating

BullDog · 07-22-2017, 06:58 PM

Yes, I understand. It does seem we were all more like family even 5 years ago. I guess some still are.

Yeah the meaner stuff - I mean look where it is getting us in politics!

I do think it is a huge red flag if you are dating from online and someone would want to meet in complete secret. If you are being discreet and your online community is none the wiser, that is fine. But I always have made sure when I am meeting someone that they give at least one person they personally know my contact information. If someone doesn't want that, it would be a huge red flag to me.

Gemme · 07-23-2017, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lyte

Could work out ... certainly! Anything IS possible.

Work out equally as often as relationships started in real life / face to face ... nope.

There's approximately a 50% divorce rate and the majority of those are people who met in person. I think everyone has the same shot, regardless of the way they meet.

There is no guarantee for anyone and one method is as good as another. Hell, I just saw a show that had a couple from the original Love Connection that were still together after 23 years.

To each their own!

SleepyButch · 07-23-2017, 09:31 AM

I've been doing online dating for years and years now. It's easier for me as a shy guy when it comes to approaching women, to meet potential dates online. Also, having identified as Butch for all of those years and now Trans, it really narrows down your dating pool right? I'd rather come here and get to know someone via forums, chat, skype and then meet in person knowing that this person on the other side of my screen, gets who I am and appreciates me for being me. Yes, there are people who lie about who they are but that eventually comes out doesn't it? I've been lucky enough to not have gotten involved with anyone who has lied about something significant thankfully.

Yes, you can get to know someone online for a time and feel they are the best person in the world and then meet in person and it doesn't go so well but doesn't that happen when you meet face to face as well? You have a couple of dates, go out for months and then figure out that the other person is not for you. It happens in any time of dating medium. I also don't portray myself as something I am not and never will. I want someone to like me for me and not for some made up BS that I think they want to hear. Who does that benefit?

I tried to date locally and I get either married women who are looking for someone to experiment with or people who just don't get the butch femme dynamic or get me for that matter. i just don't have the energy at this point to try to explain who I am. Do you know how hard it is to explain to someone who doesn't get it why I want you to call me he or why when talking about sex I always use male terminology in relation to myself?

Anyway, long distance is hard, but if two people are willing to put in the work, it can be well worth it. I'm also flexible in my job and can live anywhere in the US so I keep that in mind when I'm starting a new online/long distance relationship. I know it doesn't work for everyone but there are many of us who it does work for so we keep on keeping on.

Lyte · 07-24-2017, 09:38 AM

To this point, I agree!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

To each their own!

kittygrrl · 07-23-2017, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Yes, I understand. It does seem we were all more like family even 5 years ago. I guess some still are.

Yeah the meaner stuff - I mean look where it is getting us in politics!

I do think it is a huge red flag if you are dating from online and someone would want to meet in complete secret. If you are being discreet and your online community is none the wiser, that is fine. But I always have made sure when I am meeting someone that they give at least one person they personally know my contact information. If someone doesn't want that, it would be a huge red flag to me.

I must be entirely out of the loop

but you remember that horrible incident some years hence? I totally agree a woman should be wise and make sure her whereabouts are known and that she take every precaution

07-22-2017, 06:58 PM	#1
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yes, I understand. It does seem we were all more like family even 5 years ago. I guess some still are. Yeah the meaner stuff - I mean look where it is getting us in politics! I do think it is a huge red flag if you are dating from online and someone would want to meet in complete secret. If you are being discreet and your online community is none the wiser, that is fine. But I always have made sure when I am meeting someone that they give at least one person they personally know my contact information. If someone doesn't want that, it would be a huge red flag to me. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

07-23-2017, 09:31 AM	#3
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've been doing online dating for years and years now. It's easier for me as a shy guy when it comes to approaching women, to meet potential dates online. Also, having identified as Butch for all of those years and now Trans, it really narrows down your dating pool right? I'd rather come here and get to know someone via forums, chat, skype and then meet in person knowing that this person on the other side of my screen, gets who I am and appreciates me for being me. Yes, there are people who lie about who they are but that eventually comes out doesn't it? I've been lucky enough to not have gotten involved with anyone who has lied about something significant thankfully. Yes, you can get to know someone online for a time and feel they are the best person in the world and then meet in person and it doesn't go so well but doesn't that happen when you meet face to face as well? You have a couple of dates, go out for months and then figure out that the other person is not for you. It happens in any time of dating medium. I also don't portray myself as something I am not and never will. I want someone to like me for me and not for some made up BS that I think they want to hear. Who does that benefit? I tried to date locally and I get either married women who are looking for someone to experiment with or people who just don't get the butch femme dynamic or get me for that matter. i just don't have the energy at this point to try to explain who I am. Do you know how hard it is to explain to someone who doesn't get it why I want you to call me he or why when talking about sex I always use male terminology in relation to myself? Anyway, long distance is hard, but if two people are willing to put in the work, it can be well worth it. I'm also flexible in my job and can live anywhere in the US so I keep that in mind when I'm starting a new online/long distance relationship. I know it doesn't work for everyone but there are many of us who it does work for so we keep on keeping on. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.